Victoria 2
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Victoria 2 is a game about building an empire from 1836 to 1936. The game released on 2010, and like all Paradox games it was awesome, with a broken AI and fucked-up rebels going out of control. The game, for some reason, was really loved.
Gameplay
To make it simple, all what you do in the game is just clicking on icons that represent armies, and you also get to negotiate with other countries. For example, you can ask the UK to give you half of their tax income and never raise armies again for 5 years! You can also conquer other nations.
The goal of the game
The game has no fucking goal! You just keep your People happy and hope for the best. Someone almost managed to take over the world. Said person committed suicide after discovering he won't get laid for doing that.
Notable Nations to play as in Victoria 2
- United Kingdom - Although it is suppose to be the largest and most powerful nation in all of the world at the time it rarely does jack shit and just sits it's fat-ass on it's island and white-peaces out while it's allies get fucked because it can't transport it's hordes of curries to any wars.
- USA - Invades Mexico and spheres a bunch of shitholes and oh yea it also has a Civil War where they kill some rednecks and also steals all of your immigrants too.
- France - Invades some deserts and jungles in Asia and Africa then gets fucked by Germany
- Prussia/Germany - The most overpowered nation in the entire game it can build the largest military and industry in the world and shits on anyone.
- Russia - Easiest nation to destroy since it lacks any type of technology besides the wheel.
- The Ottoman Empire - Gets the shit kicked out of them by rebels,Serbia,and Greece or manages to survive as a secondary power then gets the shit kicked out of them by Austria
- Austria - Fights with Prussia for control of Germany then gets the shit kicked out of them then tries to fight Italy and give up land to them as well.
- Serbia - Try to remove kebab with the shithole you have then fail then do an hero
- Italy - Piss off both Austria and France and then get your ass slapped by both of them unless you ally Germany.
- Spain - Gets rebellions the entire game and never accomplish anything
- China - Get fucked by Europeans despite having fuck-tons of soldiers then get rebels because you didn't stop the Europeans you stupid cunt
- Sweden - Spam prestige techs then blob Denmark and Norway into Scandinavia then try to invade Finland and get shit on by hordes of Russians and Germans.
- Japan - The Germany of Asia basically invade Korea and China and become invincible.
- Greece - Piss off everyone off by being poor and demanding loans you will never repay.
- Netherlands - Get butthurt that UK won't let you have Belgium
- Belgium - Build up a massive industry but then by stomped by Germany or France.
- Egypt - Get invaded by the Ottomans and have UK sphere you for the Suez and get shit-tons of Reactionary rebels
- Israel - Never get formed except by the human who never releases you anyways
Game performance
At first, the game runs smooth, but after you spend 10 years in the game, your game will lag even if you have an Alienware PC, because Paradox is too lazy to make a good game engine.
Bad jokes in the game
These include but aren't limited to:
- Rock me in my crandles!, after you get a lot of cotton.
- Immigrants? In my <province name>? When your people have a debate on whether they should allow immigrants in your nation.
- Who gives a woof to their religion anyway? When your people debate if they should allow minor religions in your nation.
Victoria 2 got trolled by the ISIS
The ISIS made a rather lulzy post on Twitter, but then deleted their Twitter account. Fortunately, the trolls on Reddit got the picture they posted in time and made fun of it. HA HA.
Game economy
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Warning! This game has a shitty broken economy! It's known for bringing cancer to anyone who plays the game! |
Your people will demand automobiles. Cool, you build an automobile factory. The people troll you by not buying it at all! Your factory goes bankrupt. Your people rebel, because they don't have automobiles. Then you're forced to gas them. It's so much butthurt that it can't be listed here due to massive fuck ups!
Jews in the game
As if this game is not bad enough, sometimes you will have Jewish rebels who demand to make Israel! Fortunately, you can just gas them all.
How To Troll
Because the multiplayer is fucked, you just have to troll the AI. Below are someways to accomplish that:
- As a Great Power, take a nation out of another Great Power's sphere, and just don't add it to yours. The AI will go crazy trying to add it back; thus losing other sphere battles.
- Join in a war, and become the war leader because of your high military score. Then sign a peace in the enemy's favor, so you can troll your fellow allies.
- Join in a war, and don't do shit.
- Ally with someone, then break the alliance next day.
- GAS THE FUCKING JEWS!!!1
Of course, trolling an AI is not lulzy, and because multiplayer doesn't work, you're better off burning the game. Really.
See Also
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Victoria 2 is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
