The Interview

The Interview was a 2014 movie that cost Sony Entertainment over a hundred million dollars in damages and motivated Kim Jong Un to invest the remaining rice reserves of North Korea into his nuclear weapons program. While most people would disregard any Seth Rogen film as a steaming plate of shit, apparently the concept of a Japanese/American mega-corporation funding a movie based on assassinating a standing world leader who is adamantly opposed to all things both Japanese and American would create enough controversy to cover production costs.

	“	People don't usually wanna kill me for one of my movies until after they've paid 12 bucks for it. Hiyooooo!!!	„
	—Seth Rogen

Sony after realizing what the Interview really cost to make.

The film takes place in both modern day America and North Korea as told by two overpaid manchildren vehemently trying to relive their fraternity years in the public eye. James Franco, best known for his role in no movie ever (and being stoned while hosting the Oscars), plays a flamboyantly homosexual tabloid TV reporter who is granted an interview with Kim Jong Un after Eminem comes out of the closet on his show.

Eminem's role in the movie, which occurs during the first 10 minutes, is the only entertaining event and sets the tone for a downhill rollercoaster straight into the annals of Jewish propaganda.

Cast

Dave Skylark: Main character played by James Franco, falls in love with Kim Jong Un, falls out of love with Kim Jong Un, falls in love with the CIA, falls in love with his fist up his ass all while showering the audience with 2 hours of the worst fucking comedy known to mankind.

Aaron Rapoport: Dave Skylark's emotional hipster of a producer played by Seth Rogen, featuring Seth Rogen trying to stay relevant. He is also a Jew

Kim Jong-Un: Played by some guy nobody will ever hear about, Kim is portrayed as a typical anime fanboy: sucks at basketball and likes Katy Perry´s boobs.

Sook: Kim's ultra hot North Korean bodyguard who loses all fappability by fucking Seth Rogen.

Because fuck you, that's why.

Reaction

Morning coffee for Sony execs.

Public reaction to The Interview was met with skepticism by critics and a full-scale balls out wholesale pwning of Sony courtesy of a group calling themselves the Guardians of Peace, which included the release of 47,000 employee social security numbers and medical records. Not only was the entire company (and their families) doxed to oblivion, unreleased movies were dropped, as well as embarrassing comments made by top Sony executives in a massive email dump. The total damage was 40GB in size.

Click here to download the file

HAHA FUCKING REKT. Oh wait you're rich.

Fun Facts:

• Scott Rudin thinks Angelina Jolie is a spoiled brat with a rampaging spoiled ego.
• Scott Rudin thinks Megan Ellison is a bipolar 28-year-old lunatic who needs to take her meds to make a movie.
• Sony is considering a 21 Jump Street and Men In Black crossover movie.
• Sony considers rebooting Ghostbusters with Paul Feig penning.
• Sony is also considering a Captain America and Spider Man crossover.
• The producers of the LEGO Movie will be working on the next Spider Man.
• Sony considers shitcanning Genndy Tartakovsky's work on Popeye in favor of something else for their animation studio.
• The new James Bond movie cost over $300 million to make and still sucks.

Pissed off about being fired AND doxed, disgruntled former employees would later file a class-action lawsuit against Sony. The lawsuit states that Sony took no preventive measures to protect their personal data, which based on Sony's spotless history of getting hacked, is completely merit-less and will likely be thrown out by an impartial and unbiased judge.

These setbacks did not thwart Sony's holy mission of sucking Rogen's dick raw, so the #GOP took it even further and threatened to fucking blow up any theater that plays the movie.

“	We will clearly show it to you at the very time and places “The Interview” be shown, including the premiere, how bitter fate those who seek fun in terror should be doomed to. Soon all the world will see what an awful movie Sony Pictures Entertainment has made. The world will be full of fear. Remember the 11th of September 2001. We recommend you to keep yourself distant from the places at that time. (If your house is nearby, you’d better leave.) Whatever comes in the coming days is called by the greed of Sony Pictures Entertainment. All the world will denounce the SONY.	„

With terrorism comes anti-terrorism, and the very next day the FBI declares that North Korea is responsible and accompanied that accusation with cold hard facts such as:

• The malware is similar to that of what we suspect is North Korean malware.
• The proxys were once used by North Korea.
• We are right.

Security experts (even Sabu) were not convinced and dismissed the FBI's finger pointing as circumstantial at best. The FBI then realized they have to fight to regain their honor and began hurling 100gb/sec down the throat of the one solitary ISP that provides internet access for Kim's entire country. This effectively knocks North Korea off the internet map, just in time for the Interview's online release.

North Korea then responds by calling Obama a monkey, cementing their victory.

	“	Obama always goes reckless in words and deeds like a monkey in a tropical forest.	„

99 Luft Balloons

A well respected North Korean refugee/activist decided that the best way to cripple Kim's reigm would be to fly over 100,000 balloons carrying The Interview over Pyongyang. Of course he may have reconsidered this if he had actually bothered to watch the movie and he obviously didnt consider the fact that in North Korea there are no PCs or DVD players.

	“	They were angry it depicted North Koreans as a bunch of idiots	„
	—Chung Kwang-il, on showing the movie to North Korean defectors.

	“	Good plan. Every single person who is caught with one of those will be shot. These guys just murdered hundreds of people.	„
	—Oddguy

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See Also

• North Korea
• Seth Rogen
• Sony

The Interview is part of a series on Media Visit the Media Portal for complete coverage.

External Links

• Don't say we didn't warn you
• Or the full lossless version, if you feel like spending 40 days downloading this crap