Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 11, 2025

Minecraft

Minecraft' (better known as Chris-Chan's Extreme Autism: Underground) is an over-rated online sandbox game programmed entirely in Java and is the brainchild of the fatass brilliant Swedish ego-manic Markus Persson , also known as “Notch.” It once had an enjoyable community but has since then been invaded by autistic and screaming 10 year old newfags.

The first incarnation of this game appeared in 2009 as a simple time waster in which you would manufacture pixel art of video game sprites and blocky schlongs with an assortment of colored blocks of all different textures. But like all great internet phenomena, it caught the attention of depraved channers and goons to cast their influence on Notch’s ambitious project, which in part made the game more popular than it’s worth.

Being a game made in Java it's sluggish, buggy, and overall extremely terrible; in fact being made in Java is the very reason why you shouldn't play it to begin with. All these problems are to be fixed rather sooner than later, since the abnormally large-framed Notch has finally given up on this shitty game, sold the rights to Microsoft, and left his suck-up former 'employee' Jeb to take over game design. This is, of course, a lie; evidently Jeb is just as lazy and disconnected from the playerbase as Notch ever was, and Microsoft are content to simply milk the IP for overpriced merchandise and godawful spin-offs.

(( Not Gay In The Least, In Fact, Jack Black Makes It More Manly ))

What have I missed?	Charles Bishop 2 days ago	Adam Lanza 4 days ago	Underrepresentation 6 days ago