Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/July 24, 2024

Opioids

Opioids have been found in comprehensive clinical testing to be among the safest recreational drugs available today, with no potential for addiction, no significant impairment of cognitive processes or motor skills, and no long term effects on mental or physical health other than making people like you more.

Awesome effects include:

• An intense euphoric high that feels like getting a rusty trombone from God himself

• Sedation, but not sloppy like with alcohol or benzos

• More enthusiasm, and an increased desire to socialize with other people (you'll actually have friends now!)

• You'll start nodding off after a while

• Makes such annoying shit as Lucky Star and YouTube Poop amusing tolerable. This is why you always see House watching shitty daytime soap operas and having a grand old time doing so.

And best of all, absolutely no negative side-effects. It's a wonder why more people in the world aren't popping, butt popping, snorting, smoking, and injecting these holy substances.

(( You'll Get To The Point That You're Eating Them Like Halloween Candy ))

What have I missed?	I'M GONNA RAID ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA 2 days ago	Thomas Matthew Crooks 4 days ago	Destiny 6 days ago