Electronic Gaming Monthly

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Electronic Gaming Monthly, or EGM, was once a magazine publication dedicated to all things gamer related. Nowadays, the place stands tall as 1up.com, because you'll need one after blowing your fucking brains out in attempts to bleach out the shit that they take out of their ass to slather all over for their neckbeard and scrawny goatfaced manchild to suck up and further undergo the process of shitting out ad rev residual drippings in a grand display of out one's ass and back into one's mouth irony. Not even the likes of secret societies or secret orgy parties with intricate initiation rites have anything on these guys, let us tell you....

Summary

You think Kotaku was the all brand shitty fucking circlejerk of pathetic mouthy do nothing backseat developer slaving basement indulgent nerds who have no balls or gall to do anything remotely constructive? Think again. EGM's gotten a headstart since 2007. Ever since the video game market got saturated with brown FPSes, Halo clones, Wii and DS shovelware, and 599 US DOLLARS this band of vindictive dickless socially frustrated passive aggressive unwashed penis scum covered dicks got their snark game on all because they were angry and mad that magazine publication was languishing in the face of the rise of all digital accessibility and ease because of the advancements in computer science, hardware, and the internet. If we can recall, there was one little bit on an Assassin's Creed cover preview story back around that time that helped show where this all began....

“	The AI in this game is so advanced, crowds of people will be able to disseminate you. For example, you can run from rooftop to rooftop, they will notice you and eye you as you go along. And when you fall, they'll laugh and point at you when you are on the ground.	„

I'm sorry, is this a fucking video game magazine or your own shithead "leetor dan teeh 4chan" video game fansite you make in your own time to get back at society whenever Big Jim comes around and humiliates you in front of the Anorexia Hollywood Crackhead Dream Team Girls whenever you go back to High School? Last time we remembered there was something called professionalism. These fuckers even predated "Jew Nose Chain-Rape Ass Fucker" Noah "Spoony" Antweiler for fuck's sake. Grow the fuck up, losers. Not even Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were this cacophonically vocal when they showcased pipe bomb experiments on their Doom fansite before you dickless wastes of sperm. Oh wait, you all were fired. Whatever.

The "Edge"

The Edge refers to not a series of articles or editorial, but a common thing that all video game magazines had in common and still is a time honored tradition in shithead vindictive nerdom: 'tUDE, or, for something gone through the retard filter, "Attitude".

Attitude is something that is oddly admired by neckbeards, internet dwellers, and brainless pedantic cowards alike. This is often shown through things such as:

• Snark, "witty insight"
• Humor, mainly attempts at dry and biting humor that utterly nosedives into Failure's asshole rectum experience
• "Sticking it to the man", or thinking that there's an oppressor or system of oppression that is actively against them in the world all over and "fighting back" through blind rage and rancor (Eric and Dylan, as well as Timothy McVeigh did it, it worked for them!)
• Self righteousness, especially when done without having any experience outside of the computer and without any degree of pathos with an actual human being, or friends

This is due to such people lacking the will to have actual courage and determination in their own lives and channeling it out in these ways because are bitches to harmful things that they are too afraid of letting go and actually being somebody.

Through the magic of video game fandom however, like racists and bigots, they have power in packs. EGM's done a great job of exploiting this, let us tell you.

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