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Bitcoin

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>Upalse at 20:43, 16 May 2011. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
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MOAR
Add pixplzkthnx to Bitcoin
Plz to be adding some pix now kthnx. Consult the image selection process for help, or just google up some pix.
Plz remove this notice once there are plenty of pix.

Bitcoin client claims to be a peer-to-peer digital currency. Invented in 1995 by Neal Stephenson and then stolen by cryptojew Satoshi Nakamoto, it is considered to be one of the most successful ponzi scams on the internet. Asspies and jews alike are somehow tricked into joining the party, therefore perpetuating the scam.

The value of the bitcoin is pegged to AZNs.

It has been predicted that the bitcoin will eventually become currency of choice for mastermind hacker Aulian J'ssange, as well to support the luxurious lifestyle of jews in possesion of this wiki.

Currency Value

 
Fan art depicting the value of the bitcoin.

To the extent that one cannot pay for a blowjob with bitcoins, except for perhaps from a gay, Thai, libertarian aspie, bitcoins are worthless. Jew will point out that the exchange rate between bitcoins and US dollars is steadily increasing, dodging the fact that no one has ever purchased real sex via bitcoin, but this is a ploy to get your money.

Traders

File:Anonymous Anacap.png
The flag of everone who uses Bitcoin.

It is well known that bitcoins have practical value on the web enabling you to purchase lucrative goods such as T-shirts, bandwidth and gay-porn. Currently the Bitcoin community is undergoing a major expansion with the urban myth of one aspie having managed to purchase a pizza using them. Such stories are highly speculative and experts are currently undecided whether such things have actually happened. Nonetheless Bitcoiners continue to exchange with gummi bears and macaroni chips, in the goal of increasing their holdings.

Trolling the Bitcoin forum is easy. Just claim that Satoshi isn't Japanese. Because the bitcoin is pegged to AZNs, traders will vigorously defend his alleged ancestry, so as to protect their investment. Also, many traders espouse various flavors of libertarianism and anarchism. Just cursorily review this article and apply its contents on the forum.

Technical

Nobody really knows, but according experts wasting computing resources at computing SHA256 hashes over random data will somehow save the world, including whales.

Why should you use bitcoin

If you are a honest drug dealer participating in the global market, or just batshit crazy libertarian then here's your chance to engage in your own subversive way and become a superhero. Now everyone on the net can be a real-life strongman from the safety of their computers. You can trade them for free meaning that you're now free to aquire even more gummi bears.

Because the coins value is entirely derived from how much jews are spamming slashdot at the moment, the entire ponzi scheme is guaranteed $$$. Getting your grandma to invest her savings is a sure-fire way to infinite success, wealth and bitches. The entire pyramid is explained to be worth $103 mirrions, although Bitcoiners conveniently forget to explain that is not $103 mirrions of real monies.

   
 
bro if u leave ur computer it generated coins. itsss like prinitng monie!!i made 20 btc last month
 

 
 

—IRC user explaining the intricacies of Bitcoin

With a sales pitch like that anyone is sold. Of course they also forget to mention that the cost of creating new bitcoins is more than the bitcoins themselves.

The major sell of bitcoins is the ability to engage with other aspies forum whoring and trading your play-money for "goods". There's even talk of a convention to allow Bitcoiners to speculate on the identity of the creator while dressed as giant gold coins, or cross-dressing Japanese men.

IRC

   
 
<@BlueMatt> raep3d: that means nothing, now stfu Im done with this crap
 

 
 

—#bitcoin-dev is always helpful when inquiring about security

  • #bitcoin-dev
  • #bitcoin
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£€ Bitcoin is a part of a series on Money
  Companies

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People

Bernie MadoffBill GatesChad HurleyGregory KohsHal TurnerJewsJimbo WalesKlaus SchwabL. Ron JeremyLarry SangerLyor CohenMario LaudicinaMartin ShkreliSteve ChenSteve Jobs

Ideology / Politics

AusterityBailout PlanCapitalismCommunismGlobalisationGovernmentGun controlHealth Care RageIceslaveJudaismKarl MarxObamacareRon PaulAyn RandRandroidSocialistRonald ReaganWelfareZeitgeist MovementZeitgeist - The Movie

Selling

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Topics

419 Nigerian Email ScamsThe Dot.Com BubbleEconomistEconomyForeign GirlfriendInternet moneyJew GoldMoneyNFTsPoorProfitRape dollarsScientologyToilet Paper HoardingUnlimited disposable income