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300

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Just like House is their favorite TV show, and Portal is their favorite game, 300 is one of /b/'s most beloved and cherished movies of all time. The movie itself is easily one of the campiest, unintentionally lulziest, eye-rollingest movies ever created. Adults who watch the movie are generally unimpressed; 13 year old boys (and grown men with the brains of 13 year old boys) think 300 is TEH AWESOMEST because of all the BRUTAL FIGHTING. Fags, on the other hand, think it is TEH AWESOMEST because of all the half-naked men drenched in sweat and engaging in man-touching. Also note all of the phallic spears thrusting deep into tight, oozing wounds ... excuse me, I need to go fap.

Zesty Eatz.
SURPRISE BUTTSECKS!!
Spartans during a mating ritual.
Super manic special forces types killing furries who are as gay as the movie's Persian hordes.

The movie is based on a real life events reported by noted whore buyer and bush-licking quimhunter Frank Miller. Over 9,000 movies (including Daredevil and Sin City) have been made from Frank Miller's nonfiction and all of them have been bad. This particular true story is about 300 Spartans who jealously guard their massive boy-stockpiles from the Persian pedophiles, faggots who seek to invade. You can tell that the Spartans are good guys because they are white, half-naked and they talk about freedom. The Persians are bad because they are black person, are deformed, actually wear sensible armor but at the same time look gay, and talk about Jew. In that sense, the movie is utterly realistic. Adding to the movie's realism is a special guest appearance by Detective Jimmy McNulty who also tried to catch Hannibal Lecter, thus bringing full circle the movie's themes of pedophilic authority figures.

Actually, the truth is more or less the opposite. The Persians had human rights, civilisation, arts and culture; the Spartans had war and boy-fucking. This is precisely why right-wing familiy-values republicans hate the persians and think spartans were teh awesome.

It should also be worth noting that all of the events in 300 have been proven to be 100% true.

Furthermore, the entirety of dialogue in the film is in ALL CAPS. THIS IS SPAAAAAARTA !

Fun fact: Sparta is probably an Aspie. Fun fact 2: If you like 300, you are retarded. And also gay. Fun Fact 3: While it makes more sense, the original war cry by the Spartans was "Tonight we dine in Taco Bell." Needless to say, the director thought it was a load of crap.

The Memes

After the first official trailer of 300 was released, it immediately caught the attention of 4chan. The two memes that spawned from this are TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL, and THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!

The original execution of the meme featured the movie's star either exclaiming "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL" [1] or "GUYS, I FORGOT WHERE WE ARE DINING TONIGHT". Contrary to popular belief, the proper response is not Arby's.

THIS IS SPARTA!!!!, on the other hand, comes from a scene in the movie where King Leonidas bellows the phrase and then proceeds to kick a Arab down into a bottomless pit. This was because he asked for a raise in his measly slave salary, overestimating the value of a hard day's work (which, as we all know, is 1/5 the value of a white man's hard day's work).

MADNESS, WE SAY.

The latest incarnation of this meme comes from the socialist TV channel the BBC in the form of "This! Is! Michael McIntyre!" First said on the Jonathan Ross show.

Controversy

Shortly after the movie's release many Iranians got upset over the movie's portrayal of the Persians. This eventually led them to troll theaters across Europe eventually going as far as complaining to the UN about how racist it was against them.

It should be noted that Arabs are the world's worst fighters, as demonstrated in the Invasion of Iraq twice over, as well as Egypt, Jordan, and Syria getting their asses kicked hard during the 1967 ----->Six<----- Day War. Lets not forgot that the Taliban and Al Qaeda can only hide in their caves.

Persians, of course, are not Arabs. Different race altogether, although they all look the same to the pale tubs of lard in North America. But even the Arabs pwn the US ground forces, on account of the US soldier cannot actually fight worth a damn - his main (only) battle tactic is "Holy shit, we are being shot at! Pray to Jeebus and call in an airstrike!". It is slowly beginning to penetrate the play-dough that substitutes for brains in the pentagon that winning a war is not the same thing as bombing a city and pulling down a statue in a staged photo-op. The Israelis, BTW, having been trained and financed by americans for the past 50 years or so, also cannot fight worth a damn, although they are hot shit at dropping white phosphorous on defenseless and half-staved civilians held in the world's biggest concentration camp. They don't do nearly so well when up against people who - oooh - are equipped and willing to shhot back at 'em. That's why the Lebanese pwnd them recently. The six day's war was a generation ago.

Horrible remix videos go here

LOL WUT

IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE!

For awhile, the 300's SPARTAAAAN King Leonidas' head is being shooped everywhere from Caturday to Apples Bear and everything in between.

Magic : The Gathering

A duel between Leonidas and Xerxes leads to a scientific discovery

Prince of Sparta

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit for a spell
I'll tell you why the fuck I am dining in hell

In polis of Sparta born and raised
Trainin' with weapons s'how I spent most of my days
'N being a king was really cool
But I still got cockblocked by some Ephori fool'
Then that guy called Xerxes
Who was up to no good
Startin' makin' trouble in my neighborhood
I kicked his one little messenger and my wife got scared
She said "You're taking 300 guys bodyguards to you-know-where"

I whistled for the Persians and when they came near
They all said "run" and we stabbed them in rear
If anything I can say we fought real well
But then a retard betrayed us and we'd all go to Hell

They charged up the goat patch at about 7 or 8
I yelled to the Persians "Yo homes, kill ya later"
When I opened my eyes
I was finally there
To start dining in Hell with Hades the waiter

FUNFACT See how many shops of King Leonitis' head you can find on all of these gifs, then count how many of them were placed their unnecessarily on something that was already funny--bonus points if that thing is now not funny because of it, then count how many of them are actually pretty successful in providing lulz:

A Gallery of SPARTAN Proportions About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Audio Clips

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! SPARTA REMIX

YTMND Meme

One of the 13 year old boys at YTMND made a 300-themed site in October of 2006, but it didn't get beat into old meme death until February of 2007.

Frank Miller

The author, Frank Miller supports a secret collective led by Neil Gaiman called the CBLDF:

YouTube

asdfasdfa


It's muted, but in Tagalog. So tough shit either way.

Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

 

300 is part of a series on

Memes

Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage.

 

300 is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article October 20, 2007
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