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Gurren Lagann
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Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann , or Gurren Lagann, or The Yoko Show to the majority of its fans (who lack the attention span to remember its full title when creating ED articles), is a shitty animu made by Gainax, who decided they had gone too long without making a show about penises and anime chicks that take up most of the fanbase ad infinitum.
The story centers around the typical emo kid main character Simon who finds a robot and proceeds to kill furfags with it, as the whole show basically consists of a bunch of explosions and yelling, along side his town's local pedophile Kamina and the iconic pair of tits Yoko. The main character's robot has the ability to hax all the other robots it comes in contact with, resulting in some Katamari Damacy-like shit known as "GATTAI!!", or "union". Eventually a loli is introduced to the show, but its later revealed that she's a sleeper agent destined to cause the extinction of humanity when the main character makes a failed attempt to propose to her. Oops.
Gurren Lagann is very popular with 4chan's /a/, so much so that /a/ has begun hating in much the same way it does The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.
The only character that isn't entirely made of fail is a soldier for the furfag army, Viral. Weeaboos post over 9,000 threads about Freehaven everyday in /a/ and /y/. Most of these are full of pictures of him taking it in the ass. Because everyone is gay for Sage. No exceptions.
But, to be fair, he fights with a bigass meat-cleaver-thing and beats up other furfags in prison showers. Later in the series he breaks out of prison with Simon and joins him in fighting the other furfags.
Other stuff that happens in the show includes:
- Robot hijacking
- Main character's brother making a robot work because he wants it to badly enough
Believing in me, who believes in youBELIEVE IN YOU, WHO BELIEVES IN YOURSELF!- Running up ladders
- Giant robots with mouth parts that move when the pilot talks
- Shitty GAINAX ending
- The furfag leader getting out of his giant robot and fucking the hero's robot's shit up with his bare hands.
- Anonymous drooling
- The main character becoming a space pirate and going to war with the entire universe (in an alternate universe. LOL GAINAX.)
- A godly final boss with the power to freely manipulate the fabric of reality and form a robot the size of a galaxy. In the final battle, it literally throws a Big Bang at the heroes. Rather than use its powers to effortlessly erase life from existence, it insists on fighting humanity on equal grounds to make them despair themselves to death.
- Viral marketing
- Furry Holocaust
- Talking with a hole in your chest
Plot
A Short Plot Summary
Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is like 4chan, it's about a story of humans/tripfags fight against Han-Rasen/Anonymous. The story revolves around an entire race's discovery of the world, and then continues to take what they think was once their right from the furfags, and the tripfags succeed in taking the world using the power of tripcode.
However the furfags were trying to defend themselves and the tripfags from something much more sinister, that being Anonymous Legion. Anonymous wished to use Majora's Mask to crush the tripfags, however the tripfags ruined their ship and turned the moon into the biggest tripcode in existence. Using this they go to fight head on with Anonymous, only to discover great despair.
Alternatively it could be seen as simply saying "go outside, retard". With a number of other meaningful messages about life that wee/a/boo managed to pull out of their arses to justify crying over fiction.
In reality, Gurren Lagann is simply an amalgamation of stolen ideas. In fact, it was executed much better back when it was called Evangelion, Gundam, Gao Gai Gar, Final Fantasy X , Majora's Mask, Star Wars Episode V, House of M, Independence Day, Ideon, Yamato, FLCL, Gunbuster, Captain Harlock, and CHiPs.
The Moral of the Story
All problems, no matter how inconceivably large, can be solved by wishing really, really hard. Through sheer willpower and making constipated faces, you can:
- annihilate an entire race of furries
- repair and maintain giant robots from a vastly superior civilization in middle of an endless wasteland
- advance from a race of illiterate, cave-dwelling people to futuristic levels of technology in 7 years
- break every law of practical and theoretical physics
- breath in space and underground
- instantaneously evolve from a rat to a human
- kill God
Characters
- Simon Ass Driller - The resident shota for much of the series, after a timeskip he becomes some kind of man whore who insists on saving everyone else. In nipland, "Simon" is pronounced c-men. This is due to Simon being full blown gay. Before Kamina dies, Simon is about as useful as a string condom. Afterwards he becomes god or something and raeps everyone with his drill.
- Kamina - Originally the town pedophile, he dies in episode eight. Many anons mourned his death as the loss of a supremely MANRY character. His key traits were his orange/red "stunna" sunglasses, extremely long sword and his "plzberapingmyarse" tattoos. It has been proposed that his real name is John and he resides somewhere on the Jersey shore. Desperately wants a piece of Yoko's ass, but dies before he can get some. After he dies, nearly everyone in Team Dai-Gurren begins using his catchphrases, mimicking his overly dramatic moves, and spray painting his glasses onto to everything
- Yoko Ono - The epitome of jailbait, this man-killing slut machine is apparently lv.55 in Call of Duty 4 because she has a BARRET 50 CAL!!!! OMG!!!!1!11!1! and dropshots noobs with it while bunnyhopping boingy boingy 20 feet in the god damn air. She is frequently told by the other characters to SHUT HER WHORE MOUTH. Despite being a useless cunt she receives the most fan service out of any character in the series because her tits are often the most vital subject of the plot. Also, weeaboos and japs love kneesocks. Had a thing for Kamina, but then he died. Had a thing for Kittan, but then he died. Her kisses kill people. Only reason fanboys watch this show.
- Viral - A furfag masochist. After getting completely destroyed in seconds by Gurren Lagann for the 17th time, he finally says FUCK IT ALL and teams up with Simon after the lolgainax timeskip. We all know that this is only due to Viral wanting to yiff with him. Lordgenome makes him immortal so he can tell stories about how he kicked Simon's ass, but is immediately killed by Simon after he does it.
- Lord Genome aka The Spiral King - Pronounced "LOR-juh-nome", for some stupid reason. He's over 9000 years old. No, srsly, he actually is. Nia's father and ruler of the furries, don't worry though, he doesn't yiff. In fact, he uses the same method to create furfags to make himself a harem of delicious loli. At least he was smart enough to make sure that furfags couldn't breed. They reproduce by cloning or some shit. Somewhere along the line Simon drilled a hole in his chest, so now he's just a head in a jar.
- Bruce Ironstaunch - Threw a rock at Rossiu and rose to minor internets stardom. It is believed that Ironstaunch is the man who threw his shoe at another controversial political douchebag IRL.
- Tony "Rossiu" Stark - A religious fanboy Simon takes in out of pity. Becomes a bishonen. He later betrays his fuckbuddy in order to rule human civilization and imprison anyone who disagrees with him. Wants to be Lawful Good, but is just a plain douche. When he realizes what a douche he was, he tries to become an hero, but is stopped by Simon, who invents teleportation specifically to punch him in the face. That's not a joke, that actually happens. He also tells him to grit his teeth, which is just asking for him to break his jaw.
- Nia Nymphatica McRapebait III - Lord Genome's loli daughter who grows up into Simon's worst nightmare. She was originally found packaged in a storage box.
- Beamspam "Attenborough" McMuppet - Almost a mascot character due to his quirky design, Beamspam likes to hits lots of pretty buttons and so as to fire lasers and make things explode.
- Kittan - Yoko's second victim, Kittan was once a proud member of the KKK along with his three sisters, after meeting Kamina & co. he decided to ditch riding backwards dogs for a more comfortable, banana-shaped mech. He is the replacement Kamina after Kamina dies, except twice as gay and not nearly as EPIC
- Boota - Simon's BFF who turns into a shota at the end of the series, only to turn back into a pigmole again. Boota spends most of the series in Yoko's cleavage, on Kamina's lap (and in one instance, clamped onto his cawk) or inside Simon's arse. In one episode Kamina and Simon share in eating his arse out. No, srsly.
- Leeron - A scientist you can only assume is a male frog. Frequently equips his homo rapeface and frightens the little children with it for lulz. Prefers to be called "Beautiful Queen". His design is taken directly from Eureka of Eureka 7, and is still just as freaky.
- Gimmy - A little kid who runs around naked and shoves his finger up random people's assholes. No, seriously. The Japanese like kancho the same way we like dick jokes.
- Anti-Spiral King - The final boss. Anti-Spiral/Weegee enjoys raping young girls, causing despair and giving people LSD.
Catchphrases
- "Who the hell do you think I am/we are?"
- "YOURS IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS"
- "Don't believe in yourself, believe in me who believes in you!"
- "GEEEEEGGGAAAAA....DOOORIIIRRUUUUU....BREEAAAKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
- "SPIN ON!"
- "GATTAI!"
- "ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH"
- "Kick reason to the curb."
- "Screw it in hard, like a man!"
- Anything anyone ever said in the series as mistranslated by Nyoro~n Fansubs
Assorted Fun Facts
Episode 4 Drama
Episode four of the series was guest directed by Osamu Kobayashi, as a result everyone in the episode appeared constipated or as though they'd walked out of some gay fancomic. The weeaboos on 2channel began to complain about this, and Takami Akai, one of the Gainaxfags that produced Gurren Lagann and a 2channel regular, saw their comments and responded that reading them was "like putting [his] face next to an anus and breathing deeply."
The weeaboos soon found out about how he felt about their constructive criticism and eventually Akai left Gainax because of teh butthurt. Hopefully he did it for the lulz.
Though not particularly memorable to those outside of /a/, there was a raid made on Takami Akai's blog entry. Anonymous defended the episode against the Japanese weeaboo who insisted it was blasphemy, this resulted in much short-lived lulz and Engrish.
Did Jew know?
- Every character that Yoko kisses dies in the same episode she kisses them in?
- Kamina died a virgin?
- Simon enjoyed sexual relations with Nia during their time together?
The UNITED Kingdom
—British newspaper The Telegraph, completely oblivious to Anonymous' control over the outcomel | ||
The Outcome
Huge Yaoi Fanbase
Despite the blatantly anti-fur message of the show (for the first half at least), this series is increasingly popular with all the great kitsoonay arteests on the internets - and half the fangirl population of devianTART. A large number of 16-year-old girls will claim to have watched every episode on YouTube and absolutely love it! o.m.g. SimonxViral 4evahs. So hawt.
On /a/
Epic Gurren Lagann Videos
Previous Video | Next Video
Rating
- Action: OVER 9,000. Seriously, it's fucking ridiculous.
- Lulz: 7. Episode 4 alone caused massive drama and lulz galore. You also can't help but burst into tears laughing at how ridiculous the final episode's battle is.
- Gayness: 3x^2. Tons of tits, but Leeron wants to pierce all the guy's heavens, if you know what I mean. Fuckloads of phallic imagery.
- Furry Gayness: -10. Whole show is a furry holocaust if you ignore that one faggot-y speech about man and beast. Viral is below 40%.
- Fanservice : 100%. 99 percent being about Yoko posing like whore on a big ass drill, or manly phallic machines and 1% every other unattractive whore that no one gives two shits about.
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Yoko's character in a nutshell to many.
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Simon picking off where is brother left off and failing miserably.
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My drill is the drill that pierces the heavens!
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Hard to believe she's 14. AMIRITE?
The Show with subtitles, for people who live in non-shitty countries
The Show in English with ads, for Mur'kins
Caution: Kamina sounds like a fag in this one.
See Also
- Epic
- Kamina's manly red/orange stunna shades being edited onto everything.
- GAR
- ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH
- Genocide
- The Unknown Autobot - This faggot, ruining everything for everyone.
- Yaoi
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Gurren Lagann is part of a series on Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage. |
