Ace Combat

Mobius One, Fox Two!

In the age of Call of Duty and SJW trash like Gone Home, people have forgotten what makes a video game fun. A game that's exciting, hits you in the heart, and more importantly, let's you blow up a lot of shit with an unrealistic amount of missiles. One that doesn't hold your hand treating you like a faggot with Down Syndrome.

Ace Combat players in a nutshell.

Ace Combat is that game. Starting as an arcade game in Japan in the mid-90s, Namco said how much Burgerland loves their military action games and realized they may have something here. Regarded by /v/ as the pinnacle of gaming, and to be honest, they're right.

Now before we continue, I have but one simple request: Any faggots that believe that War Thunder or HAWX is a superior flying game, get the fuck off ED right now.

Strangereal

Due to extensions of the real world during the 90s, Namco was too scared to do anything based off of real life. So, they decided to create a fictional world to set the series in. In order to make this world, someone at Namco took a puzzle of the real world map, tossed it into the air, let it land wherever the pieces landed, and made a map of the results.

The results from the falling puzzle pieces created the world of Ace Combat, or Strangereal as the fans call it. Strangereal is an alternate dimension where somehow it's politics are more fucked up then Earth's. Strangereal life generally ranges from "I wonder what major war the government is waging today?" to "I wonder what world ending superweapon the government is building today?"

Games

If you're too lazy to read this section, just read the damn list rookie.

Air Combat

Starting as an arcade game, later was ported to the PissStation. Due to a translation error, it was called Air Combat instead of Ace Combat like it was going to be. As it's old and pretty boring, people forget it exists.

Ace Combat 2

Now is when things start getting good. Nothing changes much except for the fact you get two partners. "Slash," who is totally not a ripoff of Master Miller, and "Edge," the standard feminist female insert.

Ace Combat 3: Electrosphere

Pretty much just 2, but now you can choose your aircraft's loadout. One note though: if you find a copy of 3 that has the PAL logo on it, destroy it immediately. You'll thank me for that later.

The Holy Trinity

The Holy Trinity are the bread and butter of Ace Combat. Regarded by fans skilled pilots as the greatest of the series, and for some veterans, the greatest games evar.

Ace Combat 4: Shattered Skies

Shattered Skies takes place in the Strangereal continent of Usea. You play the role of Mobius One, a mute pilot who INCOMING FROM STONEHENGE! ALL AIRCRAFT DECSEND BELOW 2000 FT!

...sorry. Anyway, a mute pilot who has the flying skill of an entire squadron. During this time, the army you fight for, ISAF, is losing a war against the country of Euresa, who has seized a giant cannon designed to shoot down asteroids and turned it into an anti aircraft battery. Against impossible odds, Mobius One single handedly saved a beach landing operation, blew up an entire naval force, blew up the giant impractical cannons, and reenacted Star Wars Episode IV on a secret missile base.

Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War

A direct sequel to 4. Now you're assuming the role of Blaze, the lead of the Wardog Squadron who can only talk when answering Yes & No questions.

Picture this: It starts slow and boring as you're just doing routine patrols, when a rogue aircraft enters your country. Then suddenly, that plane starts shooting at you, and you start to defend yourself despite being told by the brass not to. Then suddenly, you accidentally started a war in your homeland! And now everyone you know and love is dying one by one, and now you need to save the ones you love! Just when you think you've won, psyche dumbass another one of your friends is dead and you failed to save them in your negligence! Now, as the war comes to a close, you find the ones responsible for the senseless death, and go to fight them, only to learn THEY'VE DESTABILIZED A FUCKING SATELLITE FROM SPACE AND NOW YOU GOT TO SHOOT IT DOWN BEFORE IT CRASHES INTO STRANGEREAL!

If you do not cry at least once in this masterpiece, I will personally airdrop a cluster bomb on your house you soulless monster.

Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War

To shake things up, Namco decided to make Zero a prequel to the whole series, setting it decades before the first game, yet it still has all the crazy scifi tech. Your character named "Cipher", runs missions with his wingman "Pixy." Just when you thought it's going to be like the other two games, psyche again loser he betrays you midway!

Ace Combat Advance

Have you ever wanted to take Ace Combat on the go? Well now you can with Ace Combat Advance for the GBA! Now you no longer have to worry about the high velocity exciting action of the games past and now play a shitty top down shooter.

Ace Combat 6

A direct sequel to Unsung War, with fancier graphics. However, Ace Combat fans everyone all became An Hero when they learned it was moving from a Playstation exclusive to an Xbox exclusive.

Ace Combat: Joint Assault

At this point, Namco started to get bored of writing complex storyarcs for Strangereal that most players don't even focus on, so they decided to make the next game, Joint Assault, set in the real world. To the dismay of Strangerealfags, the game was mediocre at best and forgotten about.

Ace Combat: A$$ault Horizon

“	Call of Duty in the air is underselling it	„
—Gamespot

So, the series has grown a massive following ever since the Playstation 2 days, and people love it for the complex yet arcadey combat, combined with the adrenaline pumping aerial combat. Now Namco thought to themselves: "Let's get rid of all that!"

Enter Assault Horizon, regarded as the worst Ace Combat game ever made. Due to now popular the Modern Military video game craze was getting, Namco looked at their flagship aerial game and wanted to get in on that. But the game looks so intense, how could this game be so bad? By doing the following:

• Simplifying the aerial combat
• Dogfight Mode. Just press the bumpers and you'll turn the game into an on rail shooter.
• You can only shoot aces down in Dogfight mode.
• Add helicopter flights with tedious controls, because the one thing a game about flying jets in fast combat needed was helicopter missions.
• Call of Duty on rail turret sections from helicopters.
• Obligatory Call of Duty AC130 mission.

The story is also the standard "America is awesome, Russia is evil!" bullshit you'd expect from Call of Duty. In case you haven't noticed by now, the game is trying to be too much like Call of Duty.

Ace Combat: Infinity

After the travesty that was ASSualt Horizon, Namco needed to get their old fans back into the series. They notice how popular free to plays like World of Tanks are getting and once again, want to get in on the craze, so they announce their free to play game: "Ace Combat: Infinity."

With the fans outcrying "YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!!!111!!!" Namco announced that they're remaking a lot of the popular levels from the Holy Trinity, to which the fans did a 180, threw their wallets, dropped their pants, and lubed up to the buttfucking of microtransaction planes and refuel timers between missions.

Music

So, the gameplay is good, but what about the music I don't here you asking? I'm glad you asked shit for brains, for Ace Combat has an OST that was composed by angels, then sent through a supercomputer, punched a Dubstep artist in the dick, then blessed itself to those not worthy. Below are some samples:

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Had enough? TOUGH SHIT! Here's more of the most beautiful video game OST you'll ever hear in your miserable life!

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See Also

• Hallcats Squadron - The Internet's most elite squadron

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