User:OtterWhiskers/bge

Beyond Good & Evil is a no name action adventure game by creator of Rayman, Michel Ancel which promotes journalism, conspiracy theories and furfaggotry. It attempts to show the power of the media by having the player assume the role of Jade, a poor Asian Mary Sue with a camera and martial arts skills, and uncover the secret abducting operation of the government.

The Plot

The story is set on Hillys, a planet vastly populated by anthropomorphic animals and some humans which are either niggers or azns. Our protagonist, Jade is an azn who was abandoned by her parents and left in the care of a pig called Pey'j. They are so poor they can't afford a regular apartment and have to resort to living in a fucking lighthouse. They take in children whose parents were abducted for some extra income. Besides that Jade sends stalker photos to the "science center" to make a living.

One day aliens with whom the planet is at war with called "the DomZ" attack the lighthouse to kidnap children because the pig spent their money on too many big macs rather than paying the electrical bill for the shield. Jade fights them off all by herself then the Alpha sections, protectors of the planet arrive (late) to save the day.

Right after Jade receives a job offer to go to some old mine and take a picture of a serpent with eyes that look like heads or some bullshit. Jade ends up fighting the damn thing and in the end her commissioner reveals the whole escapade was just a test and asks her to come join the IRIS network, the local underground group set out to expose the Alpha sections are niggers. Jade accepts because it's her stringer duty to let the people know if there's a conspiracy going on.

They tell her their theory about the Alpha sections being the real kidnappers and they ship their victims to the moon. Then Jade is asked to go to a drug factory to rescue their former agent Double H who has taken too much meth and also take pictures of said shipping procedure and the Alpha sections without their helmet on to show they're true niggers. Jade does all that, the pig gets kidnapped in the process and gets replaced by Double H as the unwanted unfunny sidekick. The next stage is the Slaughter Houses where she captures how the victims are loaded into space ships heading for the moon. Then back at the base they get a call from their chief and Jade immediately notices he's Pey'j.

The money issue comes back again and Jade is forced to get some jewgold for a space ship and there's no better way to earn it then breaking into Alpha sections headquarters and stealing from them!!111 Of course this causes much butthurt and as a result the Alpha sections raze the lighthouse and kidnap the children after all. Jade goes emo. Then suddenly she's entering a password found written on Pey'j's shoes into a hidden terminal and the wall opens up to reveal a space ship!!!1111ONEONEONE

Jade goes to the moon to get revenge. There she sees the commander of the Alpha sections, general Kehck talking with none other than the DomZ high priest himself. She can't resist not to take a picture of that. Pey'j also resurrects due to the power of Jade's touch of love and the three of them go to hijack the transmitter signal and broadcast to the world Jade's photos. Too bad Kehck notices them and they have to kill him first... Anyway, they hack into the computer, broadcast the photos, everyone cries fursecution and get in their space ship to go fight the Alpha sections and the DomZ. It turns out all of this was a trap and the DomZ high priest captures everyone then tells Jade she's served her master well. Other cryptic shit happens the developers didn't bother to explain and the next thing you know Jade's kicked the DomZ' ass and now she's floating in mid-air and the kidnapped people are flying towards her. Roll credits. Pey'j becomes sick cliff hanger. The end.

The Characters

Jade - The main character. Like every azn she has big boobs and martial arts skills. The DomZ call her Shauni which she then adapts as her code name to act clever. Fantards speculate her parents are DomZ and she holds the secret to immortality. Her weapon arsenal includes a stick, a camera and some glove with which she can shoot discs that do nothing.

Pey'j - Jade's uncle and a fucking pig. Invented the jet boots which enable him to fly using his farts but it turns out he's too fat and can only stay in mid-air for a few seconds. Is also the leader of the IRIS network for some inexplicable reason.

Secundo - Jade's inventory. Is a 1337 haxor.

Double H - Some stupid fuck who's only good at going through lasers. References the Alpha Sections manual every time he opens his mouth.

Hanh - "The Alpha Sections are not exactly what you believe them to be".

Meï - Some random pussy.

Nino - Another IRIS network member who serves no purpose.

Peepers - You have to win his game to get the room key to IRIS network hideout.

General Kehck - The leader of the Alpha sections. His personality is of the stereotypical P.E. teacher from americunt multimedia.

DomZ high priest - The main rapist kidnapper of the game. Afraid of death, he feeds on the life of furfags, but since furfags are inferior he seeks azn pussy instead. Jade sticks her stick in his eye in the end.