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Jkid

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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“ 		 
*chan culture the [sic] biggest sociological event in recent history
  		„
  		 

—Jkid, imageboard historian

An artist's impression of Jkid

Jkid!yYT/u4PSNE (tripcode: #nameless legion) (also known as Ndubuisi Okeh) is an autistic black weeaboo "progressive socialist" who believes that the fine state of Maryland should pay for his driving lessons. He styles himself as "Head Chanthropologist of the YouTube Society", which seeks to document *chan culture, since nobody else is doing that. He was banned from 4chan and produced a 250-page PDF manifesto in response. He is also very rude. He claims to have Asperger's Syndrome and because of this disease he should not have to work or learn to drive before getting a license.

Tripfag on /cgl/

Up to 2010, Jkid was an obsessive tripfaggot on 4chan's /cgl/ board, where he was well known as one of the biggest drama whores. He first posted as "Anonymous from College Park, MD", but decided to ditch that name as nobody took him seriously anymore. Of course, he himself made the link public, as he's going full retard. He also idled 24/7 in the 4chan IRC channel on Rizon, where his autistic antics attracted the negative attention of several 4chan mods.


Fapping

In 2009, when he was 21, he asked OtakuBooty to explain to him how fapping works. Jkid being Jkid, he posted on the same account he uses everywhere else, which is also easy to connect to his IRL identity.

Jkid's first orgasm
   
“ 		 
I have never masturbated once in my life. Although I do touch myself at night, I only scratch my balls or my hairy crouch. While many 4channers masturbate once they see a beautiful woman and subsequently their dicks become hard, I have the same feeling, but I never acted on the urge to do it. Even if I see a naked female in /s/ or a hot animu chick I didn't masturbate to it. I had downloaded many pictures of sexy women, female anime characters, and female cosplayers, and a few naked females on 4chan. When I look at them, I had many erections, and an urge to masturbate to the but I never acted on it.

But the more I don't start do it, I'm merely delaying the inevitable.

So starting from today whenever I see a picture on 4chan and if my dick gets hard, I'll get one of my three condoms, put that condom on that erect penis and start masturbating at that mage. It's a start, and since I'm going to be celibate for a long time, I might as well relive any sexual frustration I have built up since birth.
 

„
  		 

   
“ 		 
Ladies and gentlemen, I have read these replies and it was very entertaining reading your responses. Last saturday early in the morning (8/1/2009) I finally decided to masturbate for the first time. That was the time I have experienced my first orgasm through it and the semen flowing from my penis like it was urine for three seconds after the orgasm. All of that sexual frustration I had over the years was finally releved.

AND IT FELT SO FUCKING GOOD. It was tso good that I did the same thing again on that Saturday evening and twice Sunday. From now on I'll masturbate at least once a week if not daily.

I'm finally relieved that I did it.
 

„
  		 

Otakon 2010

Jkid wanted to cosplay at Otakon 2010, but since he's so poor, he could only afford a green cardboard mask so he posed as an Anon. Some real anons, seeing the desecration, gave out flyers like the one to the right, warning the public that Jkid is a future sex offender. Jkid also somehow managed to lose his mask. Jkid being Jkid, he managed to convince himself that it was actually stolen by a 4chan mod, and that there is a 4chan mod conspiracy out to get him because he's a nigger. His suspicions got confirmed when he was banned from /cgl/ for continiously accusing various mods of stealing his mask.


Yotsuba Society

In early 2011, Jkid had the great idea of creating a totally original site to document imageboard culture. He held a panel at an animu con about the site (which no one bothered attending, btw) and proceeded to register yotsubasociety.org and yschan.org, in hope of becoming the next moot. Jkid and his staff actually believe that "*chan culture the [sic] biggest sociological event in recent history" and that shutting down an imageboard without archiving it equates to murder. Seeing how Yotsuba Society only has gained around 8 staff members since spring 2011, and that only two of those staff members actually do anything at all, it's completely obvious that not even Jkid's own staff takes him seriously.

Accomplishments

  • Creating a bunch of hilariously shitty articles choke-full of spelling mistakes and factual errors. No, seriously.
  • Whining about savetheinternet harassing them.
  • Uploading 75GB of pictures to a 5GB VPS, then deleting all local backups. Then getting mad when the data was lost.

Conflict with 4chon

In May 2011, Jkid tried to scrape 4chon.net in order to "archive" (read: monetize) its content. However, he disregarded the fact that savetheinternet, the owner of 4chon, is Jewish. STI declined to allow archival of 4chon content unless Jkid pays for the bandwidth, which obviously wasn't an option since Jkid is a penniless loser.

Restless because of his OCD and autism, Jkid decided to engage in a smear campaign against savetheinternet, trying to convince people that STI, who is openly jewish, is actually a white supremacist who only trolls niggers. He also tried playing the victim, deleting his site's content and claiming that it was hacked, and doing fake floods in his own IRC channel.

The smear campaign escalated to such levels in October 2011, that Jkid turned off his DNS servers and claimed that STI is DDoSing his sites.

   
“ 		 
ALL HANDS READ THIS! All Yotsuba Society websites including yschan.org are under a DDOS assault

This current DDOS is being perpetuated by known persistent troll who is a ircop and owner of datnode and admin of 4chon.net

That persistant troll is "savetheinternet" aka STI
 

„
  		 

—Jkid raging on his Twitter

Of course, Jews gonna jew, so savetheinternet decided to sue Jkid for $100.000/day unless the harassment and the smear campaign stop. The first court date is set to January 22. Unfortunately, since Jkid is poor and unemployed, he is not likely to have to pay anything, but he might end up as STI's slave.


External Links

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