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Jark
Although mentioned in the deviantART article, this drama queen is so lulzy he deserved his own page.
Scott Jarkoff Jackoff is a filthy gaijin living in Japan with his Japanese wife and their hybrid child. He was the founder and/or co-founder of deviantART who is best known for depicting himself as an alien who enjoys sticking a butt probe in people. To further emphasize his obsession with asses, Jark also coined the term "Collective Rectum" on deviantART. Thankfully, no one uses it anymore.
He and fellow CEO Spyed had two varying accounts of dA history after Spyed fired Jark's ass: Jark claims deviantART sprang forth as the result of his sole blood sweat and tears and that Spyed is a big liar, was only an associate at the time, and never worked on the site in the beginning (this despite the fact that, somehow, Spyed was appointed CEO and majority owner of deviantART inc., what is supposedly Jark's own project.) Spyed claims he was the one who procured the funds to keep the site alive when it first started. But this petty bitch fight isn't what we care about. What we care about is Jark's legendary behavior after his firing and the hilarious turmoil it stirred among the devianTARTlets.
THIS JUST IN- We do care about the petty bitch fight because Spyed just dropped a motherfucking bombshell, see The Final Confrontation.
The Firing
In July of 2005 Jark was canned for unknown reasons. But looking at his behavior following his firing it may be because he's batshit crazy and a crybaby. After being fired he started referring to deviantART as "The Company", started stressing "community" and the fact he alone cares about the users.
He also dug up the corpse of a guy named Matteo who was apparently another co-founder of the site but hadn't been an admin or even active on the site since about 2002. Like a good lapdog Matteo sprung back to life and lent his support to Jark, and the TARTlets pretended to know who the fuck he is.
Jark Gets Even
In his initial journal entry about his firing, Jark had this to say:
—Jark | ||
Then, in a show of maturity and professionalism, he uploaded a photo of his kid looking like he was crying and blamed the child's tears on Spyed firing him. Here's the exact description from the photo:
"Why have you been hurt by the guy from Los Angeles, who taught me a few Greek words while he was welcomed in our home in Japan, and stayed here for a week which ended up with him befriending me, only to stab you in the back?
...was it business?
...was it personal?
...was it for money?
...was if for power?
...was it greed?
...was there an honest reason?
...why have you been hurt?
...all I want to know is why, daddy?
your pain is too much for me to handle and I can not keep it inside any longer ...
*DISCLAIMER*: this deviation is in no way to be considered a personal attack on any of the parties involved in "this situation." it is merely here to depict the unintended consequences of ones actions; those that are never considered when decisions are made and implemented. this image is not staged and is not intended to be used as some way to rally the masses; art is emotion and this is nothing but pure, raw, emotions pouring out of someone affected by this severity of the situation."
How he could write that disclaimer with a straight face is anyone's guess. So Jark was definitely, blatantly, trying to inflate his e-penis by working the whole site up into a tizzy over his firing, but so he didn't look like the douchebag he was obviously behaving like he tried to play himself off as the innocent saint (who will happily have his son's chest caved in) trying to keep order at the same time. One might speculate Jark was even delusional enough to think the users could stage some kind of uprising against the site and somehow wrest it from the hands of his dastardly oppressors.
And so the Jarktards went forth: many users changed their avatars to some shade of yellow (some who even admitted to not previously knowing who Jark was), many went and flamed Spyed's user page, many hid or deleted their galleries as if anyone would give a flying fuck, the site was bombarded with Jark fan art which Jark most likely feverishly masturbated to, and arguments between the Jarktards and only slightly more sane people erupted all over the news, journals, forums and pretty much everywhere on deviantART. Jark even got his mom to join the fray and spit lots of legalese at people. All hell broke loose.
AVENGE ME MY JARKTARDS...but be civil
Looking through Jark's journals you can see plenty of instances where he's a hypocritical little bitch, nitpicks at the site for the sake of it, tries to manipulate users into causing a commotion, and is totally wanking his e-penis throughout:
—Jark, [1] | ||
- Despite there being nothing preventing "The Company" from explaining why they fired him (Spyed cited legal concerns) Jark, who presumably has nothing preventing him as well, has never adequately explained why he was fired either. We're sticking with the "crybaby" theory.
—Jark, [2] | ||
- Despite continually insinuating he could make a new art website, and having already claimed he coded most of the original dA all by himself, no such project as ever been seen or announced.
—Jark, [3] | ||
- FAP FAP FAP.
—Jark, [4] | ||
- Jark mentions how a legal battle would be harmful to DeviantART, yet at this point he was still threatening to sue, and collecting money from gullible lulsers. He also warns people against "character assassination" despite the fact the photo of his kid blubbering about Spyed being a meanie-butt is still in his gallery.
Yellow Day
Eventually some suckup (or maybe it was Jark's own masturbatory idea) got the idea to take deviantART's birthday and turn it into "Yellow Day": a day for Jark fan art and Jark e-penis sucking. In 2005 this sadly caught on, with people vowing that on August 7th they would upload no art, or only upload yellow art. Many a TARTlet was blinded by the influx of piss-colored artwork.
However in 2006 "Yellow Day" simply didn't happen, which goes to show TARTlets can lose interest in even their most passionate crusades pretty damn quick.
Jark also tried to initiate the laughable "Matteo Day" but nothing happened on that day either, because no one gives a shit who Matteo is.
The Lawlsuit
So despite previously emphasizing how bad a legal battle would be for deviantART (perhaps using it as a threat to get his precious "$" symbol back) Jark has been openly collecting money from TARTlets so he can sue and potentially financially ruin the site they love. lol what?
—Jark, [5] | ||
So Jark has collected money from TARTlets. At least 2k looking at his "Save the Yellow Alien" site. However when questioned about how the lawsuit is coming or what further progress he's made on it, Jark is evasive and vague. Some have speculated the money has really gone toward his new puppy and various mysterious electronic gadgets of the dark Orient.
Jark as a devianTART Admin
The grand irony in Jark's firing is that thousands of weeaboo and furfag TARTlets swarmed to support him, either having forgotten or completely ignorant to the fact that he had massively trolled them in the past.
Back in 2003 (which is at least 100 years ago in internets time) a really shitty piece of animu fanart found its way to the deviantART front page in the "Daily Top Favorites". For those not so TARTingly inclined: that's when a bunch of people decide someone's crappy art is their "favorite" and if it gets over 9,000 it appears on the front page.
Jark, correctly coming to the conclusion that the weeaboos could not use his website properly, decided to ban both anime and anthro art from appearing on the front page "Top Favorites". It only lasted for about two months, and where some artfags praised the decision, but the fact remains that if Spyed or Lolly pulled any shit like this today Jark would rally up the site once more and declare its proof the "new" deviantART administration doesn't care about its users.
—Jark, pwning the weeaboos. | ||
—Jark, This didn't last long. So many broken promises, Jark. | ||
—Jark, Well he certainly changed his mind about mob-like whining and complaining two years later. | ||
The Final Confrontation
On 7 October 2007 Jark posted this journal in which he bitches about deviantART removing an upload of his that was against their policy, obviously feeding it through the paranoia machine and shitting it out as some sort of personal vendetta against him. Since he's unable to follow rules he probably fucking wrote himself, nobody was really buying it.
On 11 October 2007 Spyed, finally fed up and a bit butthurt, responded to a comment by Jark made in response to an argument with yet another TARTlet, bringing about a lollercaust by pwning Jark with the facts the internets have been begging to hear for 2 years now. Here, archived forever, annotated for great justice, is the confrontation:
When reached for a comment on the matter, Anonymous had this to say: "OH SHI-
NO WAI! LOOOOOOL"
Let's review, shall we?:
- Spyed owned deviantART from day one cause he had the cash to back it up, proving as always that money makes things work, not wishful thinking. Jark put up no money up front and let everyone else do the hard work. He's a visionary like that.
- Jark actually fired Matteo, but anyone with an IQ above that of your average TARTlet already figured that out seeing as the two weren't canned at the same fucking time, or even in the same fucking year.
- Jark's wife is apparently a gold digging whore.
- Jark has a shitload of deviantART stock that's probably worth more than his cyber job ever was, and if the "Company" is selling out and making shitloads of money off the blood of the innocents as Jark claims, he's profiting.
- Spyed really fucking loves the term "sour grapes".
So far Jark has yet to respond to what must be untrue, slanderous lies from a cold-hearted corporate whore. Meaning all this shit is probably true. lollerskates.
It should be noted that since this incident Jark has had no activity on devianTART, it is assumed he has fled the internets or become an hero to restore his Japanese wife's family's honor.
He reappeared to advertised his Miso soup.
External Links
- Article on the Drama by one of Jark's suckups hosted on his website.
- Another Article on the Drama
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Jark is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |