Gypsies

This race needs a serious clean up
Somebody should do something about it

Who knew? Maybe they ain't so bad after all.

Gypsies, A.K.A Niggers of Europe, are an ethnic group originating in Western Asia. Often confused with the crude, caravan-dwelling, nomadic Pikeys of England, the Romanies are more devious, religious, confidence tricksters (aka con-men) than the thieving Pikeys.

They are vigorously hated by many Europeans for being brown people of Indian descent who dare to act at home in the white homeland of Europe. WARNING: Avoid gypsies. It's not difficult to avoid them because they stink. They also suffer from extreme paranoia and they are ready to kill you at any moment. Kinda like jews, only browner.

Gypsy Games

Gypsies live in caravans which are the most essential part of a game called "Gypsy baiting". A Gypsy is tied to a post by the leg or neck and a pack of trained hunting dogs are set upon it. The dogs are replaced as they are injured or killed by the Gypsy's vicious claws; these claws often become a problem to over-excited spectators who are too close to the action, and often the Gypsy must be put down so no humans are injured.

Activities

Romani dwelling, constructed of mud, shit & sticks. At least there's ESPN.

Some favorite pastime of gypsies include:

Being niggers
Stinking and looking dirty
Selling knockoff designer purses in NYC
Selling drugs (they do like it!)
Child buying/selling/trade/theft
Loli-exchange lol
Being niggers
Finding loose change on the ground
Playing the muse for classic rock bands
Not voting or participating in any census
Collecting scarves n shit
Dancing 'fo nickels
Being afraid of snow
Maiming themselves for pity money.
Caravaning
Running barefoot through sheep manure
Being whoopass at a violin
Having absolutely no written history (HA! eat that, grandma)
Rape
Murder
Stealing. Literally anything. If it's nailed down, even the nail's in danger. Rails, bridges and on time the Internets!
Stealing souls
Stealing horses
Itinerant roof repair
Blowing shit up
Caravan holidays
Kidnapping girls of the street to be sold or killed
Selling clothespegs
Bare-knuckle boxing
Talking to spirits
Being niggers

Popular Jobs For Gypsies

The most important job of the gypsies is to pretend like they're not stealing when they are, in fact, stealing.

Many gypsies aspire to be Serial Rent Defrauders. In this job, the male gypsy will ask to rent your apartment, sign the lease, provide you with a fake reference, and pay the first month's rent and deposit. Subsequently they will not pay any rent at all, and one of their grandmothers will spend the entire time using your washing machine doing laundry for money. By the time it takes you to get a court order for the sheriff to kick them out of your apartment, they've lived rent-free for about six months. This is called "putting one over on you". Coming up with lies to keep telling you about why their nigger is a lot more work than it sounds like. While working as a serial rent defrauder, they will write back to their family in the homeland and brag about how hard they are working at their jobs.

Male gypsies commonly appear on your doorstep to sell you carpets and trainers that are totally not stolen. Just as scientists will never know how magnets work, they are similarly confused by people who actually buy shit from these disheveled incoherent hucksters. Most baffling of all are the idiots who think it a good idea to allow them to fix their houses. Typically this begins when a gypsy with a broken slate in-hand appears at the door claiming it fell from your roof that is in desperate need of repair. Gypsies with a fear of heights will instead claim that the slate fell from your driveway - offering to perform repair work to the high standards one has come to expect when purchasing services from some random fucking stranger knocking at the door. The gypsies will whip-out some violins to offer some mood music while the most coherent one will relay a tale of some kid whose illness shall kill him painfully if the gypsies can't earn money for his treatment. A few days after the gypsies have completed their work, taken the money and scarpered, the steady dripping of water through the ceiling will strongly suggest that the gypsies spent most of their time on the roof stealing tiles. Seriously, what kind of moron are you to pay a bunch of toothless itinerant strangers in jackets made of carpet to repair your house?

The majestic and hairy beast that is the gypsy woman eventually wear-out her vagoo by annually spitting out a fresh batch of babies, at which point she'll be transferred to the begging division of the organization. These barren harridans position themselves at busy parts of town in order to ask passers-by for money. While most beggars are genuinely in need of charity and are totally not going to spend the money on a box of cigarettes and a cheap ass bottle of rot gut, gypsies consider begging to be a proper job. Romania is the only country claiming to be in Europe whose universities offer MBAs in begging. Pro-tip: Giving money to a gypsy is like tossing a bile bomb in Left 4 Dead 2. Gypsies from miles around will quickly rush to the area. This is a useful trolling technique should you wish to cause a neighborhood to be infested with gypsies for the next 100 years.

Gypsies also pretend to tell the future, they call that a job, too. Oddly enough they appear unable to predict that most people will tell them to fuck off. And as a hobby or just for the lulz , gypsies curse people to hell. They may even open a business on this manner.

Persecution? In MY Kazakhstan?

However, it is in Kazakhstan (the world's 9th largest country) where the Gypsy has created the most controversy. In fact, the Gypsy problem is so out of hand there that the Kazakh government licenses 'Gypsy Hunters' to cull the Gypsy population.

Language

Wherever they come from though (America too has a major Gypsy problem [1] but then America has a problem with everything...) their main contribution to the world is in linguistics.

In this area they're responsible for the relatively lightweight dis verb 'gypped' which in turn is related to the more offensive (to Jews anyway) verb 'jewed'. Both are used in generally the same manner and both can be used in anger and/or lulz:

1. (Mistress Leather Burka House of Atonement employee to friend): "That motherfuckin' giant hook-nose kike Jacob teh Jeweler gypped me on gold he said he'd pay me to go genocidal on his ass. Sure it was lulz but what the fuck ummah do with a bag of gold plated foreskins?

2. (Mistress Leather Burka to Jacob teh Jeweler): "Jacob you fucking Jewler...don't even try and jew me down on the bag of Jew gold you owe my employee Fatima or I'll issue a fatwa on your pasty white ass so quick you'll wish Hitler had made you into a lamp-shade when you had the chance."

Little Known Facts

Jimi Hendrix was known to travel with a band of Gypsies to help stick it to The Man and stick it to his drug dealer's pooper so's he could get free Heroin. He also raped one of the Gypsy women (as blacks are prone to do) and later made her his wife so he could get more cocaine from her instead of his abusive dealer.

They were one of the groups killed by the Jews during the Holocaust.

Strangely enough, gypsies are Europe's only pure Aryans. That is people of Indo-Aryan descent. So when Hitler wanted to preserve the "Aryan Race" and ended up killing gypsies, he was killing real Aryans. Apparently, they knew this and didn't find the irony amusing.