Noah Esbensen

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The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.

STEP THE FUCK OFF! Noah Esbensen looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.

Noah Esbensen
Nationality:	Danifag
Highscore	PWned 3, fragged 7
Top 50?	FUCK NO
Style	FPS, Single player
An Hero?	Nope, v& :(

For Copenhaven, the evening of July 3 was going great for everyone. Even for those at Fields Mall! Until a new challenger, with shitty shooting, shitty loadout, and sucking cocks at everything he'd wanted to achieve in life, entered the front door to Fields. From there a lulzy massacre, with not many kills, was activated and ready to execute. The challenger of this article is Noah Esbensen, a schizofag Danish Adam Lanza copycat who went batshit in the own footsteps of our fellow AlGore, and managed to a better highscore than the fag. This obviously doesn't get over Payton Gendron's feddy supermarket rampage but it does get over Randy Robert Stair's.

Background

The faggot behind this premeditated attack is Noah Esbensen, a 22 year old schizophrenic retard from Denmark. While we don't know much yet, taking a glanze at his videos, we could see he left a few points to observe:

• He uploaded shitty videos posing as Adam Lanza killing himself
• He complained about the meds his doctor prescribed him to not be a total failure
• He was subscribed to an epic William Atchison fanpage.

Like most shooters nowadays, this guy was an alt-right extremist, and apart of far-right movements targeted by the Media and Goy. The shooter's videos did raise an eye from some of his subscribers, but he couldn't care less, tricking people with the famous "The gun is airsoft" statement everyone says to their parents when they wanna do a massacre of lulzy proportions. Not much is known after this, as the case is still being investigated on. When the fanpage found one of his subs was a killer, he began to sperg out and panic like if he was the second shooter. Media covered the shooting shitly, saying that there were many PWns, but instead people got met with 3 kills and a shitty 90's style rifle.

Randy's successor

An image a civilian took of him trolling the mall epicly. While in good vision, she didn't shoot her and went away screaming.

On 3 July, 2022 he finally geared up to bring a bit of joy to Europe, Scandinavia atleast. He entered the beloved Fields mall, and began SHOOTING FUCKING EVERYTHING like a retard, he killed 3 people and injured 7. This attack was so lulzy but so failed. A civilian was in good vision, but he kept screaming and going forward, like if people aren't gonna have so fucking common sense. Nonetheless, this brought joy to some of our fellow Danish frienz. For one, he had a shitty loadout so his kill count is kinda excused, unlike Randy's, which shotgun's was perfect for an attack like this, so you lose, Tranny Phanton. After 11 minutes he was arrested by the police, and unlike those little shits at Uvalde, actually acted in the line of duty. Great job!

Graded Score

Graded score
Kills:	3/20 3 mudslimes
Accuracy:	10/20 Couldn't shoot anyone expect 10
Style:	8/20 European Adam Lanza copycat with an Atchison twist!
Butthurt:	10/20 Butthurt in Europe, especially in Scandinavia.
Bonus:	12/20 Made a poor guy have a panic attack over Noah subscribing to him
Total score: 43/100 (F)

I don't care. See full ranking

Wanted Level:
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