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Icarus

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Fly faggot, fly!!


In Greek mythology, Icarus is first ever retard, the son of the master troll Daedalus.

Story

The main story told about Icarus is his attempt to escape from Crete, Gayreece by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax for lulz. Like a true faggot, he ignored instructions not to fly too close to the sun, melting the wax which his wings were glued on which caused him to fall into the sea where he drowned because no one was ever taught to swim in the Roman times because Krakens. For some weird reason, the Hellenic Air Force Academy is named after Icarus, who is seen as the mythical flying pioneer for some reason even though he completely botched his first and only try he got on account of being a stubborn little shit.

Other references

There was a video game series about the little angel that failed called "Kid Icarus" for the NES and 3DS, where you can recreate his death by continually making him fall into the bottom of the scrolling screen pit, at least in the NES version since he still can't fly until the very end of the game. It's got pretty much nothing to do with the book since the Icarus in the games actually does stuff in the Nintendo universe to make him more like an badass than the real world retard. He still gets trolled in the 3DS game though, with many womens' voices yelling at him in his ear telling him how to do basic shit.

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