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Hero

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Hero is a word best used to describe a corpse as it will be used in the first sentence of the letter sent home by the Commanding Officer before the body to describe how a person died along with other meaningless words like brave, thoughtless and humble. As it has lost all its original meaning over the years, as people have even used it to describe someone who powered through a tear inducing - painful dump, the word Hero is now best used as a word of condolence to the family of someone who was dumb enough to get himself killed. The military has a saying, "You meet a veteran at the gate with all the other passangers. A hero gets picked up with the luggage"

   
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The word Hero losing its meaning
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The Ancient Hero

Hal Jordan aka Green Lantern finally admits he hasn't done anything for African-Americans because he is racist.

Traditionally, heroes were the kind of men that could raze an entire village to the ground, slaughter the children, and be home with enough time to rape the women and eat dinner. Vikings are a prime example of the legendary heroes we laymen once worshiped as minor deities. It is thanks to the viking invasion of Scotland that there is still a large enough human-to-sheep-blood ratio to allow successful breeding of humans. If ever one finds themselves in the shadow of an ancient hero, they should be forewarned that they could get stepped on, or at the very least, almost raped.

The Modern Hero

The greatest hero of them all

The modern hero, is any person who manages to capture the attention of stupid teenage girls. An example of a proclamation of heroism:

PrincessBrittany1122: liek, omgwtfbbq, that singer is liek, totaly HAWT, hes liek, totaly mi HERO!!!11
SekcStephie6969: omigod i no he is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mien 2!
Tom Hanks is a goddamn warhero!

The Real Hero

Everybody knows that real heroes, like Superman, wear leotards. Firemen are not real heroes, contrary to popular belief; they are actually part of the Illuminati Jewish conspiracy.

An hero

He was such an hero

to take it all away.

We miss him so, this you should know,

and we honor him this day.


He was an hero to take that shot

to leave us all behind.

God, do we wish we could take it back

And now he's on our minds.


Brother, nephew, son and friend

He was all these things and more.

Yes, we'll always remember seeing him

with his brains upon the floor.

See Also

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