Axila

I WORKED HARD FOR MY HIGH LEVELS OF AUTHORITAH!!1

Axila, Tom Green's Paul Fetch, and "that faggot" is a Jew gay homophobe. Seriously, I can't make this shit up. Having spent many years as the leader of the fight against Tom Green, he now spends time performing channel takeovers, fellatio on the dumpster-dwelling ircops, reminding people that they have been trolled, and perusing his favorite OMG KAWAII^__^ profiles at Gaia. His other hobbies include singing along to his favorite Britney Spears songs, huffing jenkem, and tormenting IRC with unwanted pictures of what is believed to be a cock. Please note that the list does not include sex with men, because, although he is an actual living faggot, Jesus told him not to hump dudes. He does, however, have an internet boyfriend who cybersexes him.

His Life Story

Just ask him. After a half-hour long speech about why you fail, he'll eventually tell you anyway.

He was born Dru Davidson, a poor black person boy in France, which explains his extreme niggerdry and faggotry. By the age of 8 he already knew that he was different from the other girls, in that he had a penis. He vowed to use this horribly bent shaft to declare other people as faggots...by writing their names on his penis. By the age of 12 his ears were already the size of dinner plates, well on their way to being roughly as floppy as his own genitalia during a lesbian porn movie. Often left alone by his friends, among other things, he used to stay in his bedroom for entire days masturbating furiously to the bestiality scenes in Freddy Got Fingered.

After hearing about the fun times in the Village People song "In the Navy," he decided to join the military. However, after realizing that he might break a nail on a US frigate, he opted for the Army Reserve. After two years of being rejected for ass rape by bored 50 year old farmers, he quit.

At the age of 15, he began partaking in "raids" against Tom Green and his old timey show Tom Green Live. Because he had spent roughly 84 years doing this, he was the oldest of oldfags, he deserved more respect than he got. Because as you surely must know, IRC is SRS FKN BSNS. To further illustrate:

Don't make me internet famous, bro! I'm a modest guy!

<Axila> OMFG WHY DONT YOU BELIEVE ME I'VE WORKED HARD FOR MY HIGH LEVELS OF AUTHORITY BESTOWED UPON BY YOU

After the IRC channel hosting the raids was CLOSED by the friendly folks at Rizon, Axila boldly took up the mantle despite the fact that Tom was on vacation and all the raiders had moved to another server. This was due to the fact that #tomgreen was his life. Not Tom Green raids, just the IRC channel. And so, like a true predator with his sights set on sloppy seconds, Fagxila was quick to claim ownership of #tomgreen after IRCops purged the founders from Rizon. He's probably still furiously gloating over the fact this very moment, failing, in typical Axila fashion, to notice that no one hangs out in #tomgreen, evar.

So now, at the age of 98, he's a very shy young faggot with a vicious appetite for Cock, but is too ashamed to ask for it firsthand.

Current List of Crimes Against Humanity

Being IRL faggot
Being a Jew
Being born
Constantly referring to himself in the third person.
Having a veiny, weird penis, and sending pics of it to people.
Having problems with premature ejaculation. So he says.
Hating Bill Nye and Fat Nigger Day.
Taking internet as serious business.
Getting nimp'd way too many times.
Enjoys watching rednecks take left turns all day.
Preferring to have AIDS over being undersexed. Of course he's both.
Being on welfare (Seriously, he gets black person)
Being an armpit. Look up what "axila" means.
For more, see photos.

Also, he's that kid in class who tells the teacher how much he enjoys the homework. When Rizon IRCops k-lined a bunch of people and went on a channel-closing rampage, he was right behind them, thrusting ever-so-lovingly.

Lulzy Quotes

Standard response to whatever shit Axila happens to be babbling about

.

"I miss Axila" (He constantly refers to himself in the third person, wtf?)
"I'm just about srs bsns"
"I'M SO GAY I SHIT DILDOS"
"<Axila> /r/ cock pic <Nicole> lol i dont have a cock <Axila> mage's cock <Nicole> i don't have it :/ <Nicole> he sent me a fake link :P <Axila> oh shucks"
"IRC is srs bsns and I must monitor it at all times. I take my +ao seriously"
"IRCOPS = GODS...Where would Rizon be without their wonderful OP team? I'm sure she made an honest mistake and I thank her for her selfless work to the servers."
"There's George Takei gay, and then there's you, Axila." - Maje

These are but a few of the gems bestowed upon IRC by her majesty Fagxila. If you're into endless diatribes about how fail everyone is and how it's clearly everyone else who is wrong, feel free to hop into #tomgreen on irc.rizon.net. Be forewarned that upon entrance, Axila will spam you with requests for cock pics while at the same time proclaiming his heterosexuality.

IRC logs (moar like lolgs, amirite?)

[15:48] -ChanServ- Information for channel #tomgreen:
[15:48] -ChanServ-         Founder: Axila
[15:48] -ChanServ-     Description: The Tom Green Show
[15:48] -ChanServ-      Registered: Jul 18 04:00:20 2008 EDT
[15:48] -ChanServ-      Last topic: Tom Green is on vacation until the end of July. This is a serious 
business chat. Discuss things of serious nature. 
[15:48] -ChanServ-    Topic set by: Axila
[15:48] -ChanServ-  E-mail address: [email protected] (probably not real email)

<Axila|AFK>  you're so delusional man
<Axila|AFK>  You treated me like total shit in that chatroom just now
<Axila|AFK>  And you have the nerve to PM me and say I'm the one with the ego/powertrip/cruel?
<Axila|AFK>  No. Just no.
<Axila|AFK>  I have absolutely no ego whatsoever, and any "powertrips" I go on
 in the form of kicking people on IRC pale in comparison to anything you've ever done.

<Axila|AFK>  OMG NOT FUNNY NO ONE IS LAUGHING

<Axila>  I wrote a 6 page blog about how you're a dick

<Axila> This is good practice for me
<Axila> I love being hated for doing what I have to do
<Axila> It gets me hard

<Axila> Explain to me, specifically, why I was banned
<Axila> You trolled me, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say I got trolled, now it's all over. Why the ban?
<bobthejanitor> because you bawww constantly about not having ops in there, then you retaliate 
against me by removing access in unrelated chans
<bobthejanitor> you act like a faggot
<bobthejanitor> and I don't allow shit like that in my chan

Axila is also a fat nigger who enjoys purple drank, Roscoe's, and AIDS.

<&Sabrejack>  Axila's claim is that #tg was drama free until #bn showed up
<bobthejanitor>  lol
<&Sabrejack>  that you, bob, tried to steal #tg users for your own channel..
<@lamuerteviva>  #tg was drama free until Axila showed up
<&Sabrejack>  Axila was like "#tg was drama free for two years"
<&Sabrejack>  I don't remember any fucking Axila two years ago.
<bobthejanitor>  especially when he is the only person who invites #tg users to #bn
<@Maje>  axila's definitely a newfag
<lucid>  definitely
<&Sabrejack>  the channel hasn't even existed for two years.

<Axila> I've been in this chat since 2006 when they started and GB was a nazi about colors in the chat

<anonicole> hey axila is asking me for pics of your cock lawl
<Maje> lolol

Immediately after taking over #tomgreen Axila pm's a channel admin during a cocksucking rampage:

<Axila> you're a stupid bitch and I hope you die of AIDS
<Axila> Enjoy not having access on #tomgreen
<anonicole> wow. 
<anonicole> butthurt much?
<Axila> what would I be butthurt about, sweetheart?
<anonicole> in case you haven't figured it out yet, pumpkin, i could not give less of a shit about access or lack thereof
<anonicole> in fact, i left you and this conversation there HOURS ago
<Axila> Oh I know bb! You don't care about #tomgreen, therefore your access was deleted, so how am I butthurt?
<Axila> I bet we could be best of friends IRL.
<anonicole> you're the one who went out of your way to pm me about it hours later, faggot. 
<anonicole> it must be painful to fail at everything as hard as you do. kthxbai

<Maje> Axila wants to know if you're on the rag
<anonicole> no, i just think he is the biggest motherfucking retard since the kid from life goes on

<Axila> this sounds extremely gay
<Axila> but when I get older I really want to be a HS choir director, or a HS teacher, something along those lines

High Levels of Authority are SO cash

Hey Faggots,

My name is Axila, and I have higher levels of authority than every single one of you. All of you are un-opped, internet famous, trolled faggots who spend every second of their day chatting instead of raiding Tom Green. You are everything bad in #tomgreen. Honestly, have any of you ever trolled Tom? I mean, I guess it's fun talking about your personal lives because of your own fail calls, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to Bob's LiveJournal channel.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was in the Army, and now an unemployed security guard. What jobs have you had, other than "jack off to my gb <3's #billnye cock pic"? I also have high levels of authority, and have a banging hot @ (ChanServ just opped me; Shit was SO trolled). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my high levels of authority