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Flash

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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File:RanchiRush.jpg
Shockwave Employees Enjoy Playing Lolicon Games in Their Spare Time
Behold the power of flash!
Be warned: using flash with graphics and humor this advanced will destroy your computer.
Flash would go on to be dramouted as hacker software by internet god, T. Reginald Gibbons.

Flash is a trojan horse computer virus designed to prevent people under 25 from ever procreating. While flash poses as that thing you need to make YouTube work, Flash is named after its ulterior motive. Flash's real goal is to make laptops run so incredibly hot that the heat generated will "flash" the users nuts with enough heat to render them sterile.

File:Flash Crashed.jpg
oh noes! Flash Crashed!!!


History

In the late 90's, flash somehow got into the hands of some sweaty, fat-assed, nerds who decided to use it to make hentai and poorly created stick figure animations, sex kitten games and sim dates. These "cartoons" and "interactive games" became popular when people realized the Internet could do a lot cooler things than showing images of dancing hamsters. Flash "artists" immediately set to work creating flash files of dancing hamsters. These were then uploaded to Newgrounds (moar like Newbgrounds, amirite?).

Small businesses began to catch on to the cartooning craze, and began asking 13 year olds to develop tedious flash intros for their shitty companies.

A few cutting edge big businesses began incorporating flash, but they were quickly bankrupted by the huge cost of doing business with 13 year olds:

"Here is your update. I made the red button again but I still do not understand when you say the red is different because of your paradigm. Can you provide the hex codes for your color instead of Pantene colors? This update is free but the last one will cost $10. I hope that is ok. Also, how long does it take to get a cheque, I have not received the first one yet ($40). I am not sure if Flash can control your Router and Oracles, I will get back to you on that. Thank you very much for your services, signed CEO of BounceGrafix 2000 Design."

and also by lawsuits filed by the Java Programmer Old Man's Union.

Purchasing Pirating

Flash is somewhat expensive costs over 9000 dollars, so it is often pirated. Newer versions incorporate copy-protection measures which are more difficult to crack even easier to break.

How to draw a square using Flash Studio CS3 CS4 ActionScript 3.0 Flex

1. Click the square tool
2. Draw a square on the screen
3. Select it and click Transform > Align To Center
package{
import flash.display.Sprite; 
public class simple_shape extends Sprite{ 
var square:Sprite; 
public function simple_shape(){
square = new Sprite();
addChild(square);
square.graphics.lineStyle(3,0x00ff00);
square.graphics.beginFill(0x0000FF);
square.graphics.drawRect(0,0,100,100);
square.graphics.endFill();
square.x = stage.stageWidth/2-square.width/2;
square.y = stage.stageHeight/2-square.height/2;
}}
}

How to be hired by a big company as a Flash Developer

  • Buy templates from the 3rd world and say you made them
  • Use the copypasta method of programming.

How to be hired by a big company as a Flash Cartoonist

  • Work for free
  • Love cock



How to steal RTMP videos found on the internets

If you are too new to torrent videos off the interwebs, or to hide your porn, it is likely that you stream videos over the web. On occasion, you may wish to download these videos. More often than not, things are are straightforward and all you need to do to get the video is use live HTTP Headers to find the HTTP URL of the video and download it that way. However, some sites use the flash RTMP protocol to transfer the video in real time, instead of a standard buffer/download over HTTP. This is done for a number of reasons: (i) to troll, (ii) to prevent copying of videos and (iii) to ensure that only 10 seconds of video is ever buffered after the exact point of the video you are currently viewing to save bandwidth costs. The latter is annoying because if you have a slow internet connection that not even deleting system 32 can speed up, the video keeps stopping and starting when you try to watch it and there is nothing you can do about it.


So...how do I downloaded video?

Instructions: Warning: There is a prerequisite of Computer Science III for this course.

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