- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Ryan Palmeter
|
 |
Ryan Palmeter is yet another mediocre mass shooting article. You can help by not writing articles on every boring edgelord that goes postal and reminding the author they aren't AlGore. |
|
please click here and slowly scroll down to the bottom of the page. |
 | |
|---|---|
| Ryan Palmeter | |
| Nationality: | Americunt 
|
| Highscore | Killed 3 |
| Top 50? | No |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | Yes |
Ryan Christopher Palmeter卐 was a typical Florida man and undercover CIA who continued the work of his idol Dylann Roof in removing the Fried Chicken Filth from the South. Growing up in a place called "Oakville Plantation", Palmeter has his fair share of gangbangs and assrapes from Niggers, and decided to get revenge by shooting up a Dollar General of all places
The Attack
Palmeter originally planned to attack a nigga college, but got kicked out by campus police before he could go postal and so decided to attack a shitty dollar general instead. Like every other white devil before him, Ryan made sure to write a bunch of random Nazi shit on his AR for extra butthurt and lulz. He killed one person in their car in the parking lot, than killed another Nigga shopping for watermelon. At this point two more niggers walked in while the shooting was going on and Palmeter killed one. Finally he went into an office and started bitching to his daddy on his phone before becoming an hero before he could get raped by the cops and then Bubba
Reactions
As the shooting took place in Florida where 12 out of 10 locals supported bringing back slavery, there wasn't much butthurt from the media, but of course Old Joe had to give another unoriginal reaction to the shooting, this time saying “White supremacy has no place in America”. Ron DeSantis called Palmeter a pussy for becoming An Hero, being fully aware that a lifetime of buttsecks with Bubba was not a better option. Of course, some butthurt niggas didn`t like Ronnie`s statement , and even booed him of stage when he attended a vigil to pretend he gave a shit about the victims.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 3/20 Not much of a loss for the states cotton production |
|---|---|
| Accuracy: | 2/20 Chased some bitch around the store and still couldn't get the kill |
| Style: | 14/20 tactical vest and Nazi shit scribbled on AR |
| Butthurt: | 7/20 Got the media to blame the governor somehow |
| Bonus: | 5/20 Caused minor butthurt in Florida but otherwise insignificant |
Wanted Level:
Mall Cop