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Bubba
Bubba is the default name for the enormous black gangbanger who will anally rehabilitate you in prison. It is no accident that Bubba is black, because all black persons immediately turn gay upon incarceration. They can't help it with all that pubic hair on their heads. Half the niggers become brutal rapists, and the other half turn into raging queens, tying their jail shirts up to show their sexy abs and using prison bug juice (fake Kool-Aid) powder to color their lips red.
History
If you are sent to jail for a pussy crime like smoking some weed, Bubba is gonna make you his bitch. Before you go to jail you better put on some muscle fast and learn how to defend yourself or your ass will be goatseated before you can say "why me?". Bubba particularly likes pretty boys so it is a good idea fuglify yourself before going to "the big house" (Bubba's ass). Some handy hints include shaving your head and growing a shitty beard. You do not want to be pretty around Bubba. You should also put on some weight, a good forty pounds or so, because in Bubba's words, "Skinny dudes can take more cock." Bubba also likes it that skinny dudes can pack more in their asses, because if you ever get on work release, you will be smuggling quarter bags of marijuana, ounces of cocaine, condoms full of heroin, Xanax, OxyContin, disposable cell phones, and whatever the fuck else Bubba wants.
Crimes that will get you Goatseated
- Mail Fraud
- Importing lolicon
- Drug addiction
- Being attractive
- Piracy
- Rape, since there can never be too much irony.
- Being Albert Gonzales
What people are saying about getting raped by Bubba!
- "It was amazing. My asshole never bled so much."
- "HE FUCKED OUT ALL OF MY BLOOD!"
- "I knew I needed a vacation in prison."
- "Wait... I was told prison was like Megatokyo. NO! PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME! AHHHHH!"
- "There was never enough AIDS to go around in my hometown, but now that I'm in jail, I get it all the time!"
- "Whew! I won't be breaking the law after that ordeal!"
- "I was nervous at first and it hurt a little, but I loved every minute!"
- "Ah, I was tight lad back in the days but I owe Bubba thanks for giving me the loose noose I now possess today! My shit slithers right out!"
Prison Documentary
People Afraid to go to Jail
- Zen444
- Your mom
- James Begley
- Livecorpse (actually became an hero for taking the whole Bubba shit seriously)
- DeviantART
- Blago
- Paris Hilton