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Bitcoin
Buttcoin (sometimes called bitcoin by morons who take it seriously) claims to be a peer-to-peer digital currency. Invented in 1995 by Neal Stephenson and then stolen by cryptojew Satoshi Nakamoto, it is considered to be one of the most successful ponzi scams on the internet. Asspies and jews alike are somehow tricked into joining the party, therefore perpetuating the scheme.
It has been predicted that the buttcoin will eventually become currency of choice for mastermind hacker Aulian J'ssange, as well to support the luxurious lifestyle of jews in possesion of this wiki.
Currency Value
To the extent that one cannot pay for a blowjob with buttcoins, except for perhaps from a gay, Thai, libertarian aspie, buttcoins are worthless. Jew will point out that the exchange rate between buttcoins and US dollars is steadily increasing, dodging the fact that no one has ever purchased real sex via buttcoin, but this is a ploy to get your money.
Traders
It is well known that buttcoins have practical value on the web enabling you to purchase lucrative goods such as T-shirts, bandwidth and gay-porn. Currently the Buttcoin community is undergoing a major expansion with the urban myth of one aspie having managed to purchase a pizza using them. Such stories are highly speculative and experts are currently undecided whether such things have actually happened.
Trolling
Trolling the Buttcoin forum is easy. Just claim that Satoshi isn't Japanese. Because the buttcoin is pegged to AZNs, traders will vigorously defend his alleged ancestry, so as to protect their investment. Also, many traders espouse various flavors of libertarianism and anarchism. Just cursorily review this article and apply its contents on the forum.
But the sweetest form of trolling is:
- Create a market bubble
- Tell everyone to sell
- ????
- Loss!!!
-
A hypothetical situation proposed in Something Awful -
Someone else did exactly that on the buttcoin forum. -
People were thirsty for blood.
Technical
Nobody really knows, but according to experts wasting computing resources at computing SHA256 hashes over random data will somehow save the world, including whales.
Why should you use buttcoin
If you are a honest drug dealer participating in the global market, or just batshit crazy libertarian then here's your chance to engage in your own subversive way and become a superhero. Now everyone on the net can be a real-life strongman from the safety of their computers. You can trade them for free meaning that you're now free to aquire even more gummi bears.
Because the coins value is entirely derived from how much jews are spamming slashdot at the moment, the entire ponzi scheme is guaranteed $$$. Getting your grandma to invest her savings is a sure-fire way to infinite success, wealth and bitches. The entire pyramid is explained to be worth $103 mirrions, although Buttcoiners conveniently forget to explain that is not $103 mirrions of real monies.
—IRC user explaining the intricacies of Buttcoin | ||
With a sales pitch like that anyone is sold. Of course they also forget to mention that the cost of creating new buttcoins is more than the buttcoins themselves. The major sell of buttcoins is the ability to engage with other aspies forum whoring and trading your play-money for "goods". There's even talk of a convention to allow Buttcoiners to speculate on the identity of the creator while dressed as giant gold coins, or cross-dressing Japanese men.
—#bitcoin-dev is always helpful when inquiring about security | ||
