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Trust the soyence

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Soyence is the ultimate source of truth!

Whenever a soyentist moves his lips, what comes out must be right. Soyence is always right! There is no questioning soyence!

Woy You Should Trust The Soyence

Soyence does not need any money to back it up

That's right! Soyentific scientific research happns because soyentists scientists do it from the bottom of their hearts! Unlike the rest of us, soyentists have no bills to pay. They do it for free!

What happens if you don't trust the soyence

If you don't trust the science, then our supreme leader fauci will not make any more jewgold. Questioning is literally fascism, and you're literally a nazi for daring to ask a question to our TOTALLY LEGITIMATE SOYENCE, who is always right and can never be wrong. Remember trust the soyence or you're promoting misinformation and were going to give you the BANHAMMER. Come on, everyone knows doctors and soyentists can't be paid off/compromised/scripted/lying to your face. Doctors and scientists could NEVAR lie to you. Where would you hear such an unhinged idea like that?

Soyentists have always told the truth in all of human history.

OMG HES SO HONEST!!!

Soyentists once preached the non-addictiveness of OxyContin, that smoking does not cause lung cancer, and that partially cutting off the penis does not change sensitivity.[1][2]

Wait, what? Soyence once said that partially cutting off the penis does not change how the penis feels? Oh, noez! How embarrassing!

Soyentists have no personal lives and no feelings like the rest of us.

Soyentists are immune to emotions and cognitive biases. They are not humans like the rest of us but a superspecies that can always think rationally all of the time!

It's not like soyentists ever sleep and poop and pee and masturbate in their personal time. No, they are awake 24/7, busy in their chrome-coloured laboratories.

References


Trust the soyence is part of a series on

SCIENCE!

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