Chelsea Manning

Just the right amount of woman.

BREAKING NEWS!! HIS SENTENCE GOT COMMUTED

Chelsea Manning^⚧ is a pretty pretty princess who recently obtained her svelte figure on the popular "7 years in prison diet." Chelsea Manthing's claim to fame involves leaking over 9,000 classified documents to WikiLeaks and something about Cablegate. Last Thursday, Chelsea added even more butts to the pile of butthurt she wreaked over her transition when she appeared in public with numerous figures who claim to not be alt-right but all of Twitter is sure that they are totez neo-Nazis guise and they deserve a good punching. So Manning is either a heroic whistleblower or a Russian plant designed to spoil the election of some senator in Delaware, depending on which Twitter-conspiracy-theory you believe.

Proof of sex change

File:Chelsea Manning on 18 May 2017.jpg

Yowza! I need to go search for some lotion!

News fans were initially skeptical that sticking on a bad wig in a car and smearing on some lipstick is enough to turn a guy into a girl. I mean, you can't just slap a USAF logo on a DeathGlider, and yet she has managed to become the darling of many tranny-chasing EDiots with her excellent trollery of just about everyone in America.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend

Braver than 1000 feminists put together, Chelsea waded into the sea of Trump supporters and found value in their company and they were entertained by her impressive oration. Within seconds Twitter had exploded into allegations of newfound Neo-Nazism from the segment of Twitter that is easily butthurt by MILK and the "okay" hand gesture, and hilariously divided the left into a thousand pieces, each of them butthurt.

See also

• Adrian Lamo
• Phobos, the prettiest princess of them all
• The Tale of the traveling Afghan War Diaries
• WikiLeaks

Featured article January 25 & 26, 2018
Preceded by Porsche Girl	Chelsea Manning	Succeeded by TBD