MBTI

Well, shit, it all makes sense now!

This acronym secretly stands for Massively Boring Talking Idiots. People who make their living consulting other people on how to be MBTI will, of course, deny this fervently.

The purpose of MBTI is to assign everyone letters which they will not understand, so that the Global Masonic Conspiricy can more easily decide who to assign to the gulags, and who to simply kill outright.

There are some tests which help you to find out your type without understanding this bullshit, but they are more or less ridiculous, at least any you'll find online. The questions are something like "Do you prefer empathy or rationality?" which means "Do you want points to your T score or F score?", so not very helpful at all.

Some argue that MBTI is like astrology, when you read a description you think it's about you and that you are oh so logical and intelligent, a true INTJ genius, even though you are a whiny loser without friends. Except when you read the ones that aren't like you and you go "What kind of idiot is this?".

Furthermore, Socionics pwns MBTI by being both deeper & more complex (predicting type interactions) and less politically correct, as well as closer to the original ideas of C. G. Jung, but don't tell that to retarded brainwashed MBTI fanboys, unless you're a troll trying to produce lulz by going onto their forums to make them butthurt. However, if you're not a student of Socionics who cares about the descriptions and order of the cognitive functions, which MBTI butchers especially for introverts, you can get by perfectly well by sticking to the oversimplified stereotypes shared by both called 'type descriptions'.

(And no, despite the controversial method of visual identification, Socionics is not racist.)

What the Letters Mean

• I - Introvert: Likes to be alone, prefers own company compared to the company of others.
• E - Extrovert: Likes to be around others, social, prefers company of others compared to own company.

• S - Sensing: Thinks about present reality, more concerned with practically and facts, but are not good at finding connections between happenings, thinking outside the box, beeing creative, and... uh... IQ-tests.
• N - iNtuitive: Thinks about the future and possibilities, is theoretical, may an hero because no-one understands them.

• T - Thinker: Logical, rational, uses logic to make decisions.
• F - Feeler: Emotional, takes emotions into account when making decisions.

• P - Perceiver: Flexible, deals with things as they happen, their house resembles a radioactive wasteland.
• J - Judging: Rigid, structured, planned.

SJ

Guardians

The "normal" people, afraid of change and everything else. You will never meet one you haven't wanted to kill at some point.

Percentage male: 55%

Percentage female: 54%

ESTJ

The Supervisor

They memorize stupid facts like baseball statistics, then look at you retarded when you bring up something that hasn't been in existence for at least 100 years. They have a lot of respect for authority, and they put a lot of value to titles, ranks and positions. Their appearance is very neat and a bit conservative. They won’t look very different from what’s average, but they do care a lot about how they look. Right now they're being stuck up assholes hoarding their jew-dollars for Black Ops lobbies.

Percentage male: 24%

Percentage female: 13%

ESFJ

The Provider

They like to talk about their feelings and to give their opinion about everything that is happening around them. They become very illogical when you have seriously hurt their feelings, this can result in drastic actions from their side, like ending friendships or ending deals. ESFJs are usually stupid as shit, when they "think," all they really do is "find reasons that justify their feelings", and only care about American Idol and some ESFP attention whores.

Percentage male: 10%

Percentage female: 25%

ISFJ

The Protector

Same as above, except that they'll typically have less friends, are slightly more intelligent, and prone to shutting the fuck up and making you some food. They go with the group, can't think for themselves, and will never be of any importance to anyone or anything. They have a strong image about how things should be and about what’s right or wrong, usually live by those values, and expect other people to do the same.

Percentage male: 5%

Percentage female: 11%

ISTJ

The Inspector

They have no friends and typically walk way to fast. They only care about money, are prone to disagreeing with anyone who comes up with a new idea, and use a scale of 1 to 100 to quantify how much they love someone. They hate taking any kind of risk, even though they are often found in the army. They also have incredible powers of concentration and determination. They have the same issue as ESTJs when it comes to being jews with their idiotic facts. They're probably watching a western from 1920, being a hard ass. They're also the limp crash dummy trying to act straight as it falls off a cliff after he got shot. Twice.

Percentage male: 16%

Percentage female: 5%

SP

Artisans

Don't expect anything they say or do to make sense, don't expect them to care about doing or saying things that make sense, and if possible, flee and never look back.

Percentage male: 31%

Percentage female: 26%

ESTP

Promoter

Typical asshole, prone to break INFP's hearts. A natural salesman who has no fucking idea what he's talking about, but does it with a huge smile, found in malls and politics. May be successful if he/she has NT friends, evolving into a pretty cool guy. Sometimes they like to think they are ENTP because ENTPs are at least 100 times more awesome than they are, but the difference is easy to spot because every idea ESTPs have is based on something that happened already a million times before, and not a single person in the entire world finds them funny. They have fucked more girls than you would see in a Justin Bieber concert and carry around some nice sexually transmitted diseases. Don't let your girlfriend talk to an ESTP, or he fucks her within two days, and you get aids too and die a slowly and painful death.

Percentage male: 13%

Percentage female: 5%

ESFP

Performer

They are easy distractedand don´t like to make plans or think about the future. In fact, they don't like to think about anything. They also usually have the attention span of a goldfish, and believe the "Singularity" is a cell phone company. Because they learn more by doing than by studying or reading, they tend to rush into things, and traditional schools can be difficult for them. They are natural performers who like to entertain people. Boxxy and basically every porn star.

Percentage male: 8%

Percentage female: 15%

ISFP

Composer

They are likely to have some kind of active artistic hobby like drawing, painting, playing an instrument or running off to Vegas to marry that cute waitress from Mack's Truck Stop over on Route 9. Though not inclined to debate or necessarily even air their views, their values are very important to them. Known for creating retarded trends, and giving people pretty pictures. You know you are ISFP when you take the MBTI test and it tells you that you're ISFP.

Percentage male: 3%

Percentage female: 4%

ISTP

Crafter

They can work any tool/machine if they read the instructions. They´re good at acting in the moment without planning but bad at long term commitments. They prefer actions over words. ISTPs are content to let others live according to their own rules, as long as the favor is reciprocated, and they endure impositions without complaint. They're also really terrible at hiding shit, like putting something they don't want anyone to find, in a file title "CONFIDENTIAL-DO NOT OPEN.docx", with an exclamation point icon on it. On their desktop.

Percentage male: 7%

Percentage female: 2%

NF

Idealist

They think that aids is a product of gmo, and most of the time end up in their mom's basement or under a causeway.

Percentage male: 8%

Percentage female: 17%

ENFJ

Teacher

The typical cult leader. That dude who somehow gets it, prone to not doing anything, but still being loved by everyone. They are great communicators and are tactful and diplomatic in social interactions, but they are often bad at making decisions based on logic. Apparently their main skill is speaking in front of gigantic crowds charismatically, causing everyone to adore them. They will always promise great things for everyone in the future. They often have dark thoughts when alone.

Percentage male: 4%

Percentage female: 6%

ENFP

Champion

ENFP's life mathod is somewhat like a retard running through a minefield an somehow missing all the mines. ENFP's are described as outgoing, creative and intelligent. They often have an original dressing style. They don’t like criticism and try to solve problems by talking about their feelings. They tend to idealize people, and can be disappointed when reality fails to fulfill their expectations, and are easily frustrated if a project requires a great deal of follow-up or attention to detail.

Percentage male: 2%

Percentage female: 5%

INFP

Healer

Best personality type you can be, especially if male.They take almost everything personally and are very easily hurt. Prone to wearing the rose colored glasses and getting constantly taken advantage of as a girl, or being a permavirgin as a guy. They are not stupid, however they are also not very realistic and practical. Typically able to read the otherwise indecipherable bullshit documentation of computer scientists and engineers, good for them. Famous INFPs include that girl in your sixth-grade homeroom who got the teacher fired for saying that girls aren't good at math.

Percentage male: 1%

Percentage female: 3%

INFJ

Counselor

They are very vulnerable and complex individuals. They tend to be sensitive, with a great depth of personality. They are intricately and deeply woven, mysterious, and highly complex, sometimes puzzling even to themselves. They have an orderly view toward the world, but are internally arranged in a complex way that only they can understand. Commonly known for thinking they have mind powers or some shit like that. INFJs make good wives, if they don't kill you for being a horrible person first. Even males. They are making your food after all.

Percentage male: less than 1%

Percentage female: 3%

Famous INFJs: Hitler

NT

Rationals

They spend half of their life on the internets fapping to beautiful asian girls, usually think they are superior to just about everybody in the world, and own more books than clothes.

Percentage male: 16%

Percentage female: 3%

ENTJ

Fieldmarshal

Congrats you are an asshole, you are really good at manipulating people and lying is easy for you. As a teenager you probably had sex a lot and had a bunch of SPs following you around, if anyone fucked with you you gave them the axe, this most likely carried on into your adult years where you continued to treat people who were superior to you as if they were god and those below you like shit. ENTJs may look like total jerks, but remember: Everyone has feelings, some people just want to be more private with them. Adolf Hitler was believed to be an ENTJ, which explains why all ENTJ's, including jewish ENTJ's themselves, hate Jews.

Percentage male: 4%

Percentage female: 1%

ENTP

Inventor

ENTPs are the most self-aggrandizing of all the types, and they can usually be found looking into the mirror and fapping to their own image. ENTPs like to go around thinking their own shit don't stink, but everyone knows that's not true. Luckily, there is a fun experiment you can do with these crazed, self-deluded maniacs. The apparatus, INFJs, are a rare resource, partially because so many of them have been an hero to ENTJs. Once you find an INFJ, put it into the proximity of as many ENTPs as possible. This works best with female INFJs and male ENTPs. After the ENTP talks to the INFJ for two seconds, hilarity will ensue once the ENTP finds they have been cockblocked.

Percentage male: 5%

Percentage female: 1%

INTJ

Mastermind

They categorize everything and waste time looking at shit that doesn't matter. They plot to take over the world and hate everyone, even as a child. INTJs can become vastly overconfident and will often times get stuck on a particular line of thinking that destroys their ability to troubleshoot problems, and have a low tolerance for spin or rampant emotionalism, some argue that half of INTJs' intelligence is pure arrogance. They may hide behind their knowledge, rationalizing that the net costs exceed the net benefits in the relationship, and so it is illogical to peruse in one. But no matter how cold they seem, they secretly spend a lot of time, before going to sleep, imagining a guy/girl that loves them. They would be great leaders, assuming half of the population wasn't nearly as retarded as it is right now. Most likely to be manipulated by an ENTJ or kill everyone in their sector at work, or become an hero (after INFJ, who was just killed by an ENTJ). INTJs make ideal companions to INTPs, as neither of them notices they're in a relationship.

Example: Agent Smith from Matrix - "I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You're a plague and we are the cure."

Percentage male: 4%

Percentage female: less than 1%

Famous INTJs: Most of school shooters, Anders Breivik, Reinhard Heydrich, Josef Mengele, You

INTP

Architect

1/2 of all INTPs are virgin neckbeards and live in their mothers basement, the other half are scientists and engineers who are generally completely underappreciated. As a teenager they are usually too cool for school (and for other people apparently), and spend their best years on IRCs, where they behave like hysterical extroverts. Like INTJs, they are self-absorbed, miserable, pedantic, passive-aggressive loners with a reputation for viciously and obsessively criticising others at the slightest mistake, and all under the guise of "speaking their minds" and some rubbish about "accuracy" and "the ultimate truth of it all". INTPs have some things in common with INFPs, but INTPs are better than INFPs in every imaginable way, and also in several ways that aren't imaginable. However, his type will soon go extinct anyway, due to their inability to talk to anyone.

Example: The Architect from Matrix - "Architect: The first Matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art…flawless, sublime. And triumphed equally only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus. I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another–An intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be its Mother."

Percentage male: 3%

Percentage female: less than 1%

Further "Reading"

• Typology made simple!
• A quick test Brand yourself today!

See Also

• Psychiatry
• Scientology

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MBTI is part of a series on Psychology

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