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Kung Fu: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:fakekungfu.gif|thumb|right|Rolling mounds of fat and transforming oceans into piss are some of the more pronounced characteristics of "Fat But Wang Kenpo"]] | [[Image:fakekungfu.gif|thumb|right|Rolling mounds of fat and transforming oceans into piss are some of the more pronounced characteristics of "Fat But Wang Kenpo"]] | ||
Kung Fu is a method of self defense invented by the [[azn|azns]] to keep foreign countries from invading for their rice. Kung Fu is inherited genetically and cannot be mastered by any other race, aside from the occasional black person. [[IRL]] Kung Fu has never worked. Ever. This is due to bullets having the ability to go through skin, and the contrary being impossible. [[Anime]] Kung Fu wouldn't work either if more people carried guns and weren't [[fucktarded]] enough to fight more experienced [[azn|azns]] unarmed. | Kung Fu is a fucking badass method of self defense invented by the [[azn|azns]] to keep foreign countries from invading for their rice. Kung Fu is inherited genetically and cannot be mastered by any other race, aside from the occasional black person. [[IRL]] Kung Fu has never worked. Ever. This is due to bullets having the ability to go through skin, and the contrary being impossible. [[Anime]] Kung Fu wouldn't work either if more people carried guns and weren't [[fucktarded]] enough to fight more experienced [[azn|azns]] unarmed. | ||
[[Image:Wrongkungfu.jpg|thumb|[[doing it wrong]]]] | [[Image:Wrongkungfu.jpg|thumb|[[doing it wrong]]]] | ||
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*Bruce Lee (dead) | *Bruce Lee (dead) | ||
*Brandon Lee (dead) | *Brandon Lee (dead) | ||
*[[Chuck Norris]] ( | *[[Chuck Norris]] (Giant Assdouche) | ||
*Jet Li (exists to make white people complain in their hugbox) | *Jet Li (exists to make white people complain in their hugbox) | ||
*[[Street Fighter|Ryu]] (not real) | *[[Street Fighter|Ryu]] (not real) | ||
*[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] (not real) | *[[Dragon Ball Z|Goku]] (not real) | ||
*[[Mortal Kombat|Liu Kang]] (not real) | *[[Mortal Kombat|Liu Kang]] (not real) | ||
*black person | *black person (some) | ||
*[[Keanu Reeves]] (fraud) | *[[Keanu Reeves]] (fraud) | ||
*[[David Carradine]] (dead) | *[[David Carradine]] (dead) | ||
Revision as of 02:38, 1 August 2011
Kung Fu is a fucking badass method of self defense invented by the azns to keep foreign countries from invading for their rice. Kung Fu is inherited genetically and cannot be mastered by any other race, aside from the occasional black person. IRL Kung Fu has never worked. Ever. This is due to bullets having the ability to go through skin, and the contrary being impossible. Anime Kung Fu wouldn't work either if more people carried guns and weren't fucktarded enough to fight more experienced azns unarmed.
Kung Fu Styles
There are many styles of Kung Fu, most of which were ripped off from animals. Being the sick, demented fucks they are, furfags often claim that because kung fu masters practiced animal forms, they are also furries in the "spiritual" sense.
- Wu Shu
- Dragon
- Tiger
- Crane
- Nigger
- Leopard
- Iron Penis
- Snake
- Articuno
- Wing Chun
- Jeet Kune Do
- Ba ji quan
- Formation of the Eight Mudkips
Famous Kung Fu Practitioners
Kung Fu is so useless that anyone who masters it only achieves fame through movies and acting, as it poses absolutely no threat in IRL combat.
- Bruce Lee (dead)
- Brandon Lee (dead)
- Chuck Norris (Giant Assdouche)
- Jet Li (exists to make white people complain in their hugbox)
- Ryu (not real)
- Goku (not real)
- Liu Kang (not real)
- black person (some)
- Keanu Reeves (fraud)
- David Carradine (dead)
- Jackie Chan (how can this list NOT have Jackie Chan? Drunken Fists yo)
Sample Kung Fu
Video of Kung Fu and its many practical uses.
Kung Fu, The Series
In the 70's there was a popular television show called Kung Fu. The main star was David Carradine, a white man without one asian drop of blood in his entire body. The show was originally written by Bruce Lee but the producers said he was too chinky to be on TV and decided to pull an Eric Bauman by taking his notes and cast some random drunk guy, who happens to be David Carradine, and cast him as a half-asian that knows Kung Fu, despite the fact that Carradine can't even fight for shit to save himself from 5 year olds; in his favor, he recently took a good, hard, look at himself and acted accordingly.