|
|
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| | | http://z7.invisionfree.com/Theresearchlab/index.php? |
| [[Image:Jenniko2.png|thumb|JDR as a vacant-looking anime hairmonster.]]
| |
| {{quote|A mixture of fascination and horror|Your face, after reading anything produced by Jennifer Diane Reitz}}
| |
| JDR, also known as 'Tranny-kun', is well known as one of the most [[batshit insane]] folks on the Internet. Ever! This is sort of helped along by the fact that he/she has been online since the early 90s. JDR has at one point in his/her life been a [[Rich and beautiful|millionaire]], but somehow [[fail|managed to squander all of her money]] (nearly all of it on shelves upon shelves of imported, complete [[manga]] volumes, [[anime]] videos, and [[plastic crap|every last cheap bit of merchandising for them]] that he/she [http://otakuworld.com/jennifer/image/tour/index.html proudly bragged about to the internet]) and lives in a [[basement|squalor]] with two other [[transvestite|girl]]s and a man, one of whom actually has a job (it's the man, because men are horrible beasts). Since JDR is an ugly man/woman and doesn't have to leave his/her house for work or anything of the sort, he/she is essentially a crazy shut-in, and as such spends all his/her time online being a crazy little bitch.
| |
| [[Image:Jdrlulz1.PNG|thumb|left|JDR admits she sucks.]]
| |
| JDR is a crazy [[Narcissistic personality disorder|narcissist]], and as such believes that everybody in the world should dance at her call. Mind you, JDR has lots of crazy ideas! Because she's crazy. JDR honestly believes that everything she makes is perfect, [http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000724891 she is a sage], [http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000724896 Scientology is exactly the same as Buddhism], [http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000724813 fighting Nazis is morally wrong], [http://jenniverse.com/impossible%20things%20cover.html she is magical and mystery surrounds her], [http://badwebcomics.blogspot.com/2007/06/more-jdr-crazy.html criticism of her work by anonymous people on the internet is worth killing over], [http://www.pasteldefender.com/002.html prepubescent sex dolls are a good thing], [http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000644587 the very spirit of creation possessed JDR to bring her first shitty webcomic into the world] ... well that's just say JDR has multiple levels of stupid crazy, and move this crazy train out of the station!
| |
| | |
| JDR runs a whole variety of websites, including several extremely dreadful webcomics (with webdesign straight out of the 90's) and [http://www.transsexual.org transexual.org], a sickeningly misandristic [[propaganda]] site with a test that identifies nearly everybody that isn't a [[Professional Wrestling|professional wrestler]] as mentally female and urges people to bullshit their way through doctor-given tests.
| |
| | |
| ==E-Love==
| |
| JDR, Giniko-chan, and many others, was actually born as a male. Because males are vile creatures who start wars and rape everything, [[Rebecca|he had surgeries]] to [[Kelly Martin|turn him into a female]], because females are petite and gentle. But because the transformation took place well into adulthood the results were less than remarkable and are certainly not fooling anyone. At 41 years old with the mind of a [[16 year old girl]] crossed with a rabidly [[liberal]] political pundit, he enjoys minor [[e-fame]] because he both has a fake cooze as well as a preachy webcomic with pretty rainbow acid colors.
| |
| | |
| ==Infamy==
| |
| [[Image:Jenny2.jpg|thumb|JDR painfully contemplates blaming himself for once.]]
| |
| To her credit, JDR is rather intelligent (though not as much as she would have you think), and if she was not so [[batshit]] [[insane]] she might be able to utilize her talents for something better than internet blowjobs from furry fans. Once upon a time, she was owner of the then-successful gaming site HappyPuppy.com. Upon selling the site she made more than any of us are ever going to see in our lifetimes and then promptly blew every penny on retarded [[anime]] crap like a [[redneck]] who just won the lottery in a gun store. She is extremely bitter about her own horrible life and financial decisions, and now spends every waking hour complaining on her own forums about how the [[Republican|Republicans]] and religious people somehow ruined her even though she still has a site showcasing her photos of 10,000 videogames and Sailor Moon figurines.
| |
| | |
| About 5 years ago [[Portal of Evil]] discovered this bag of cunts and since then has been treated to a new shocking and dysfunctional proclamation out of her about every week or so, ranging from anti-religion rants to insulting family members who support her broken ass, to how great it is to be a JDR today. It's safe to say that she is one of the most hated and longest-lived exhibits ever posted on the site, having inspired over 4,500 comments alone.
| |
| | |
| From within PoE, doubts have arisen about JDR being a transsexual at all, as she seems to possess a level of bodily self-loathing that most transsexuals do not exhibit after the operation and even cheated her way through the pyschological exam intended to weed the real manginas out of the people who are just severely confused. In many instances JDR has expressed a desire to completely forget that she has a gender or a body altogether, best shown in his [[special]] [[fursona]] which is a gelatinous, genderless blob.
| |
| | |
| ==Make My Shitty Game==
| |
| | |
| Reitz's nebulous claim to fame is [http://forums.unicornjelly.com/viewtopic.php?p=84216#84216 Multiverse], an unmade concept game that used random seed numbers to make up for it's utter lack of design or content. Multiverse was to be programmed by JDR's long suffering polyspouse and breadwinner, Stephen. When reality sucked their shitty game under like a fat bitch in quicksand, Ginko-chan blamed Stephen, thus proving she is an insufferable cunt. She resents him for it to this day.
| |
| | |
| [[Image:Jdr whinymcblame.jpg|center]]
| |
| | |
| There is great irony in the fact that all of JDR's websites are registered under her long-suffering pseudo-spouse, Stephen's name. This potentially means that the poor dumbass pays for her to spew all this crap onto the internets, even though she constantly whines at him for not supporting her [[crap|"creativity"]].
| |
| | |
| Later, a fatty on the Unicorn Jelly forums will declare that Reitz invented procedural content development because of this.
| |
| | |
| In fact, JDR is convinced that Multiverse is similar to Spore. To the point where she is convinced that Spore was entirely stolen from her. Somehow.
| |
| | |
| ==Mental Illness==
| |
| [[Image:Jdr onetime muse.jpg|thumb|Proof of JDR's Mental Illess: She believes "Unicorn Jelly" (her epic webcomic) has a coherent plot]]
| |
| | |
| Whenever someone [[Noob|new]] discovers JDR, they inevitably either become a drooling [[fanboy]] or [[fangirl]], or they attempt to diagnose what is wrong with her. Since anyone on the [[Internets]] can be a psychologist, this has led to a variety of diagnoses.
| |
| | |
| *[[Narcissistic personality disorder]]: JDR acts like she is madly in love with herself and her creative [[Retard|genius]]. JDR thinks that because she has read science fiction before, she knows all about cosmology, and because she had her [[penis]] cut off, she is qualified to give medical advice about transsexuality. Those are just two examples. She considers herself an expert on everything, while unsubtly telling her forumites that she is just an amateur, hoping to have her [[e-penis]] stroked.
| |
| | |
| *[[Basement dweller|Schizotypal personality]]: JDR uses the Internets to communicate with the outside world. Per her own website, she is "nocturnal" which automatically means that she does not see most people. She thinks she is special because she has had [[LSD|strange visions]] of other worlds and has resurrected her dead dog despite apparently being an [[Atheist]].
| |
| | |
| *While some people wish they were another gender, some wish they were a [[Furry|different species]], some wish they were from [[Otherkin|another world]], JDR is all of these and more. She wishes she were from a different '''universe''' and has custom designed it. JDR's very own special universe has floating [[Gay|triangles]] in the sky, because it has "[[Bullshit|unique]]" laws of physics that Reitz made up despite not being a scientist at all, and it is inhabited by blobs of sentient Jello.
| |
| | |
| *[[Histrionic personality disorder]]: Drama follows JDR like thunder follows lightning. She gets [[butthurt]] over the slightest thing. However, nothing sets her off like [[Anonymous]], even when an anonymous person is using a handle, such as [[John Solomon]]. She makes death threats at Anonymous for dissing her glorious creative work, even though she would have no way of carrying them out--if she could even be pulled away from her computer that she [[Emo|whined]] about wanting until her forum sycophants gave her the money to buy it.
| |
| | |
| *[[Paranoid|Paranoid personality]]: JDR had a heart attack, and after she left the hospital, went on her forum and proclaimed that the doctors had tried to kill her because they were all Christians. She is constantly convinced that people want her dead, and that her pathetic state of existence is the result of a religious conspiracy to destroy her for being a transsexual. It is so bad that even in comics about her special [[Gay|triangle]] universe, transsexuals are killed for no reason. She can't even pwn the evil fundamentalists in her own fantasies.
| |
| | |
| It is becoming clear, though, that there is so much wrong with JDR that it cannot be classified under a single mental disorder. Perhaps someday psychiatrists will learn of her and will grant her some of the importance she so craves, naming a brand new mental illness after her.
| |
| | |
| == Tommah: Obsessive stalker? ==
| |
| [[Last Thursday]], a brand-new [[faggot]] appeared on [http://friends.portalofevil.com/sfs.php?si=3&fi=000016856 Portal of Evil's massive JDR forum]. Tommah claims to have heard about JDR via this article, and assumed that [[Portal of Evil|PoE]] was the perfect place to share his [[internet crush|obsessive hatred]] of JDR. PoEsters quickly realized the depth of Tommah's insanity when he began posting [[9000|roughly 30 JDR-related messages]] per day, on topics ranging from [[Waaaambulance|BAWWWING]] over [http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000719769 being banned from JDR's forum] to a [[shit nobody cares about| ridiculously long essay]] apparently providing JDR with financial advice.
| |
| | |
| Tommah quickly became notorious for creating [[at least 100]] [[sockpuppet]] accounts on JDR's forum in hopes of [[rape|"educating"]] her, as well as for reposting every damn thing tranny-kun says on PoE. Christmas day, 2007, Tommah was found scrounging around PoE muttering [http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000723582|"What happens when JDR dies?"] Witnessing this sad state of affairs, PoEsters were [[gay|kind]] enough to suggest that maybe Tommah should just [[an hero|get it over with and kill himself]].
| |
| | |
| To this day, however, Tommah continues his obsessive [[stalking]] of JDR. Will he eventually end up joining her [[unicorn orgy|polyamorous communue]]? Will we see his picture on [[Fox News]] when he finally snaps and sends her his own ear as a love token? Only time will tell...
| |
| | |
| ==Something New Every Week==
| |
| Because JDR uses the forums on her own site as her only means of communication outside of her household, you can read her stream-of-consciousness blather some 20 hours a day if you are particularly fascinated or horrified by her. Here are some terrible things we have found out due to her constant posting.
| |
| | |
| (Note: Recently he has redesigned his forums and [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|deleted all of the old posts]], so some of this stuff might be hard to find.)
| |
| | |
| *Prior to completing hormone therapy, JDR described testosterone as being a "poison" in his body that forced him to [[masturbate]] compulsively, sometimes until his genitals began bleeding. He has yet to answer how the women he so pitifully wants to be can keep from this odd form of self-destruction, considering that they too produce testosterone.
| |
| [[Image:Jdr puptrio1.jpg|thumb|right|JDR: Not the ugliest one in the household (but almost)!]]
| |
| *Lives in a polyamorous commune with 3 other equally broken individuals, one woman, one other transsexual, and one male. All of them are middle-aged.
| |
|
| |
| *Even though JDR does not work, the main breadwinner of the household who works with a software company is constantly dehumanized and insulted by her for various reasons. In one instance JDR posted a long-winded rant calling him "a disgusting pig" for refusing to work on a creative project that only JDR cares anything about.
| |
| | |
| *Posted rejoicing over the late Pope "taking a dirt nap".
| |
| | |
| *It is thought that the HappyPuppy sale netted JDR 1.4 million to possibly 2.2 million US dollars. That's million with an M. She no longer has any of the money.
| |
| | |
| *Suffered from some heart problem late last year that threatened her life. Instead of thanking the hospital staff who saved her, she accused them of being intolerant Christians who retched at the sight of his ruined, chopped-up anatomy [[Srsly|and tried to kill him]].
| |
| | |
| *Runs transsexual.org, which disguises itself as a serious scientific site when it actually just gives out misleading information and the answer key for beating the psychiatrist-developed test that one must pass before having sex-change surgery. Because the site is easy to find when looking for tranny info on Google, it's impossible to know how many confused people have taken JDR's bad advice and gotten expensive, irreversible, regrettable surgery when they really just needed a little therapy. Equally uncountable is the number of people that really are trans-something and after reading his site don't think they are because they don't feel the same level of gender butthurt that he talks about, turning them emo and making them become [[an hero]]. [[gg]].
| |
| | |
| *Self-diagnosed [[Asperger's syndrome|ass pie]]
| |
| | |
| *Believes the government (and not Jews) did WTC.
| |
| | |
| *There are literally so many disgusting things he has said and done over time that it would take ED years to create a comprehensive list.
| |
| | |
| ==JDR at PAX 2009==
| |
| | |
| Apparently since having all the videogames of the 80's and 90's was not enough for JDR, so Jennifer The Reitz decided to [http://takozushi.com/Pax_2009.html pillage PAX] along with Eldernath the Fugly. Witness as (s)he makes terrible puns about nearly everything they saw there, and revel in their pride at [[shit nobody cares about|RECOGNIZING BUB AND BOB FROM BUBBLE BOBBLE!]]
| |
| | |
| UPDATE: Her domain name expired. Fixed.
| |
| | |
| ==External Links==
| |
| [[Image:Jdrlulz2.PNG|thumb|right|JDR threatens to kill [[John Solomon]] because he posted a bad (ie. honest) review of her work (i.e. shit).]]
| |
| *[http://transsexual.org/ Transsexual.org] - Incredibly sexist anti-male site with dangerously bullshit information about transexuality. Would be an epic [[troll]] site if it weren't '''100% fucking serious'''. [http://dramapatrol.blogspot.com/2007/09/synergy-or-very-special-update.html Analysis here.]
| |
| *[http://jenniverse.com/ Jenniverse.com] - JDR's hub o' crazy
| |
| *[http://www.unicornjelly.com/ Unicorn Jelly] - JDR's Original Terrible Webcomic (capitalized for terribleness)
| |
| *[http://jenniverse.com/impossible%20things%20cover.html Impossible Things] - JDR's magical adventures
| |
| *[http://pasteldefender.com/ Pastel Defender Heliotrope] - JDR's webcomic about sentient adolescent sexdolls
| |
| *[http://pasteldefender.com/to%20save%20her%20archive.html To Save Her] - JDR's newest webcomic
| |
| *[http://unicornjelly.com/cosmocover.htm Cosmo Chronicles] - Proof that JDR's art hasn't improved in ''35 years''
| |
| *[[John Solomon]] [http://badwebcomics.blogspot.com/2007/06/more-jdr-crazy.html mocks JDR's shitty comic], JDR cries
| |
| *[http://dramapatrol.blogspot.com/2007/06/profile-jennifer-diane-reitz.html Me and You and Mary Sue] explains JDR
| |
| *[http://lotlot.net/x/kokoro/sorrow.html How The Loss Of Kokoro Wish, and of My Entire Career, Of All Of My Dreams Has Affected Me.] by JDR (mirror)
| |
| | |
| | |
| [[Category:People|Reitz, Jennifer Diane]]
| |
| {{Lezz}}
| |
