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Aimee Major Steinberger: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 07:01, 31 October 2011
Although Aimee Major Steinberger has grown up and become a NORP, there is still potential for lulz, but this article needs the attention of a weeaboo expert.
Aimee Major Steinberger
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Aimee Major Steinberger, formerly known only as Aimee was the top queen bitch of the Dollfie and Ball Jointed Doll world. From atop her throne of Sanrio and Wapanese she alone directs the lives of thousand of Otaku willing to shell out the $3000 for a fucking barbie doll. She makes a rather odd statement of herself, being the epitome of all that is horrid, as she is a furry, wapanese, otherkin attention whore.
Contents
Dollfie Fandom
In the high pitched and cut throat world of large human shaped dildos, only one reigns supreme from the high perch of her Den of Angels. And that would be Aimee, who decides the world of Dollfie as she will, much like that creepy kid from Twilight Zone with the cornfield. In a world where even the most rabid collectors have at most 3 or 4 of these overpriced wapanese monstrosities, Aimee has over 20. This cannot be stressed enough, she has at least 20 of them.
Den of Angels
Den of Angels is Aimee's own personal stomping ground, where she goes to whore herself out, and make sure that everyone remembers the queen bitch is her. Her moderator underlings are hardly much better, such as the fantastically piggish Cassiel. People get the ban hammer simply for 'being mean' which ranges from simple swearing to being 'rude' to a fellow doll. Yes, rude to dolls. The place is an Otherkin wonderworld. But better make sure your object of sexual obsession is made in Japan by Volks and made of resin with ball joints and elastic, and not one of those horrible Good Korean ripoffs, or else you're out on your ear, mister. I mean lady. NO STRAIGHT MALE OWNS THESE THINGS.
As of March 2009, Aimee is no longer the owner of the Den of Angels because with 99% of the companies being Korean, it's just not a weeaboo enough hobby for her anymore. Because BJDs aren't Japanese anymore, Aimee has been trading her old dollfies for anime blow-up dolls because she doesn't want to be mistaken for being a Koreaboo.
Her most expensive doll was traded for another penis.
Cosplay Fandom
This is still an emerging world for Aimee, as she has only recently noticed that if she stopped eating, those silly layers of lard would go away, and then people would throw money at her in order to help her buy costume pieces. After all, being fat is fine for Lord of The Rings 'costuming' but not for cosplay!
As with all folks stepping into the fandom of Cosplay, Aimee is currently an underling of Adella, making cheap costume pieces for the queen bitch of kawaii. At this point she's got a smaller fanclub than Adella, and most of those are her original Dollfie fangirls, but she's moving up in the world... She's even won at Cons! Woooo! Which I suppose is like winning top nerd in the nerd show.
Aimee as Marie Antoinette and her cohorts as other historical whores.
Gothic Lolita
Despite being HUEG and therefore not a very good lolita at all, Aimee bravely sews and buys her way into the OTHER hideously expensive wapanese hobby, Gothic Lolita fashion. She often laments her hideous, awful, fucking HUEG size 11 feet, which must mean she has a very big penis as well if the saying is right.
Geisha
As a fan of everything cute and Japanese, Aimee has dived right into the fandom for the high class world of Geisha. She proves just how old school she is by being in the old skool hideously expensive wapanese hobby, collecting kimono. Besides her doll forums and cosplay forums, one can find her on the Immortal Geisha Forums. These forums are full of her kind and full of potential lulz. Her abilities to sing, dance, and suck someone off are woefully unknown at this point in time.
Recently, Aimee has gone back to Japan for a visit and decided to undergo complete facial reconstruction to look ASIAN. Unfortunately, the surgery didn't work so well with her husband and he remains Caucasian-looking.
Takarazuka
For every force in the world there is a equal but separate entity. Therefore Japan's answer to musical theater is stocked sky high with... no, not octopi, but LESBIANS! Takarazuka is nothing but women in drag molesting women in pretty dresses and sparkles and music and dancing and ohhhh what a fabulous spectacle! Aimee has attached herself to this fandom like a desperate little gay man with AIDS to RENT.
Her 'Real' Job
You might be asking yourself, ED Interwebs? How can one girl and an army of fans fund all this?
The answer is simple. Somehow drawing shitty artwork and owning a bunch of wapanese dildos is enough for you to get hired by Fox News and work in their animation division making cartoons for Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly. She's been made one of the head animators for Futurama, so if you hate the new episodes, blame her for it just because.
Someone Paid Aimee to Go Be A Weeaboo in Japanz?
In December 2007, a start up manga publisher named GoComi decided to unleash Aimee's paticular brand of weeabooism on the world, a "travel manga" called Japan Ai: A Tall Girl's Adventures in Japan. A much more accurate title would of been Japan Ai: Aimee Major and Her Friends Masturbate Furiously in Japan, as the book is nothing but shitty drawings and stories of Aimee and her fatter friends from HCC Cosplay fawning over everything else mentioned in this article. While Aimee does play off her giantess stature in the book for lulz, she fails to address that she is not kawaii at all and the friends she brought with her make her look really fucking hot by comparison. Maybe that was her plan all along when she brought them with her. You can find the book in any place that sells manga to the unwashed masses, feel free to flip through it if you are in need of a good laugh.
- The grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlz who published her slop.
- What the fuck they made a soundtrack for her book?
See Also
Fellow Dollfie-philes:
- Kazakai - Number of people she transmitted AIDS to is unknown
- Cassiel - Former Den of Angels moderator
- Aimee Sword
Links
- Her Personal Website
- Her Dollfie page
- HCC Cosplay, source of the 2004 WCS Dramasplosion
- Her entry on IMDB
- Her page on formspring It's full of excessively meticulous and lulzy answers to her fans' questions.
- Her livejounal page.
Aimee Major Steinberger is part of a series on people who have slept with Rubberduc |
Nomadlisa • Rob Levin • Andrewpants • San Francisco • Girlvinyl JWZ • Hepkitten • Bradfitz • Weev • Sloth • Ghettofinger • Battlecry |
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