MTV

Artist's impression of what a musician must have looked like.

A typical graphic from an MTV Spring Break special.

Houston, we have a problem.

MTV (AKA eMpTyV) is an abbreviation for Music Television a shitty 24 Hour Music Channel (despite there being no music on MTV anymore due to AIDS).

The best example of old media division by zero; also a favorite television channel of 13-year-old wiggers, little teeny bopper bitches who ask for it and emo fags who don't know what good music sounded like, having only ever heard stories about it from old people who were around to witness its existence. Those fortunate enough to be literate may even have read about it in books, although they probably don't watch MTV anyway, so that doesn't matter.

The channel used to be mostly music and have a couple of cool shows like Beavis and Butthead, and Daria; but they quickly removed all music and scripted shows and replaced them with stupid cunts televising their attention-seeking antics in a desperate attempt to get 15 minutes of fame.

MTV is also the channel that promotes a communist agenda of stupidity by making spoiled dumbass sluts into popular celebrities such as Paris Hilton.

MTV and the War on Acceptable Music

Since its inception no more than 99 years ago, MTV has attempted to systematically air shitty music and exterminate good music, and to date, they have been reasonably successful in this regard. A lot of people claim that the key to their victory was their outright refusal to have good music videos played on their channel, or even to acknowledge the existence of real music in any way (as evidenced by the various award shows they host every year).

Responsible for the successful careers of such shit bands and artists as black person, Good Charlotte, Blink 182, My Chemical Romance, Lil' Jon, Coldplay and James Blunt. Indeed, rumor has it that MTV's official policies require them to have one of the aforementioned on screen at all times. But obviously they should never actually play any of their songs. That would be severely damaging to their popularity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8SaI-NtVDM&feature=related
Truth

MTV and the War on EVERYTHING ELSE

Seeing that real music had been sufficiently ass-raped, MTV decided to set their sights on other things, and using censorship have now pwned a considerable percentage of the things that exist, including:

• George W Bush
• Retards
• Cinema
• Grammar and the rest of the English language, by Ebonics brainwashing. Also, like, encouraging like, every teenager to, like, say the word "like" at like, every opportunity, like, ya know?
• Just about everything else except sex and money, endless Cribs re-runs and Spring Break specials being the only things left with a place on the channel.

The following additional charges have been leveled against MTV:

• A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila
• Date My Mom
• Next
• Room Raiders
• Damage Control
• Jersey Shore
• Every other show on this channel

MTV and the War on Family Values

This is what 10-year-old girls who watch MTV look like.

Pushing a culture-fucking agenda of tolerance, many MTV programs showcase lots and lots of slutty girls, softcore pr0n, the glorification of gangsta and thug life. Given that the average age of MTV viewers is 8 years, combined with an IQ that matches, MTV has caused a lot of IRL drama among stupid kids and their concerned mothers living in the suburbs. Often you find some parents group starting a campaign against MTV, however they end as abruptly as they begin. Although the stories of how MTV has destroyed families is a good source of lulz for the internets.

Interestingly enough, while MTV has a reputation among its viewers as an "over-the-top", "edgy" network, they have in fact censored as much (if not more) of their content as most other cable networks.

MTV Jokes

People think they're e-funny by telling some form of the same joke: "A myth says that MTV used to play music." It's an old meme.

See Also

• Pimp My Ride
• Emo
• Wigger
• Suburbs
• Fag
• Beavis and Butthead
• Daria
• my super sweet 16

Relevant Links

• MTV.com
• MTV Sucks group on Last.fm

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MTV is part of a series on Television Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.

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