The Great Hack Of Facepunch: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 15:16, 21 October 2021

Hey!

This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster.
You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages.
See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us!

	“	It looks pretty cool, work on the textures though.	„
	—Pentrazemine, on gm_creation

	“	do you really think i care? 90% of FP are fat nerds who just sit on their computer all day and jack off to WoW, you really think i care about a bunch of nitwits on a video game forum?	„
	—Pentrazemine, just couldn't be anymore on the mark.

	“	i fuccked yo mmom!!!!	„
	—Pawnstick, as Pr3dator

	“	Game Over	„
	—Garry, laying his thumb on his small British penis

The Great Hack of Facepunch

The so called black person Pentrazemine sent out mass PM's to Facepunch members which contained: 10 professional hackers. The so-called 'Great Hack of Facepunch' was set to take place on Christmas day but took place on Boxing Day, 26th December 2007. Pentrazemine set out on his mission, along with his 'elite team' of hackers. Put together they could just about open Dos:Box. But even so, Pentrazemin, ignoring the sound of his common sense (it being crushed long ago by his grossly over-extended ego), putting his faith in his men (lol faggot), prepared a thread, with a threat so awe-inspiring and terrifying, that would scare all of the Facepunch community shitless.

Deployment

Pentrazemine decided to proceed with the deployment of his thread. Using a trolled account, he posted it under news, the threadline being 'The Great Hack of Facepunch'. Within seconds of this post, the Facepunch community sat up and took notice. Their response:

Flame the fuck out of the stupid bastard.

Wave after wave of lethal Facepunch posts battered at Pentra's claim. The deployment of a thread a few minutes later detailing Pentra's plan by one of his hackers (christarp (who only obtained that status after guessing his Steam password)) shoved Pentra a few feet deeper into the reeking pit of Fail. After several pages of barbed posts, the cry of "Yeah, it looks pretty cool, work on the textures though." (He trolled the mapping forum with this so he could post a topic lulz) was heard. This turned into a battle cry that proceeded to follow almost every post on the thread, revealing Pentra to be the fucking idiot he is, whose knowledge of hacking boils down to looking over his father's shoulder while he types in the Netnanny password. He also claimed to have an uncle associated with the Mafia as Alex9321 aka Alex9324 states here. But as said Pentrazemine is another stupid 12 year old who lies and bitches about everything, so it was proven to be fake. Oh and he's a faggot too. (BELEETED Sorry fucker you missed the Lulz)

It looks pretty cool, work on the textures though

Aftermath

Once the Facepunch attack was complete, Pentra was completely scattered. With his password leaked, and the hacker who sold him out now posting that he was about to commit suicide on the other thread, there was only one option left to Pentra (since he hadn't lost his Ipod yet):

Turn off the PC and go to bed. Like a good boy.

The total letdown of Pentra's threat to destroy Facepunch, and the total nothing-doing by the admin meant that many members are still debating whether the banstick or the banhammer should be used on Pentra. Some others believe that Pentra should be thrown to those tigers that escaped from the San Fransico zoo a few hours before his 'attack'. Whatever happens, the whole Internet is sure of one thing: Pentrazemin is a fucking script-kiddie who needs his dad to turn off the internet filters before he can fap.

Approximately 5 hours after Pentra's thread was posted, garry banned all people in the thread for 7 Days (permaban for some) for 'Posting in a Banme'

There are also scattered rumors of his suicide, mostly exaggerated, albeit hoped for (see [1]). Because the first thing you would do if your brother died was tell everyone on his Steam account.

THE REAL HACK OF FP

On June 25, 2008, a pair of black guys and pawnstick (who had hacked FP before) banned garry. But garry removed that from the ban logs like a faggot so his followers would still worship him (not only that but a week before this, they had hijacked a moderator's account.) They got a hold of a Super Admins password and began fucking up FP beyond repair. However Facepunch had setup a SUPER SECRET RESISTANCE, and was remaining loyal to God. They even thought of asking 4chan for help. Some dumbasses called the admins (NUMBER BELOW LOL!) and grry finally banned the godly genius, with a cock-snapping "Game Over". Facepunch was still in shambles and many members were masturbating all over their keyboards, shouting nigger, and other various banwords. Facepunch is still in shambles today, and surprisingly, a slightly better forum, despite losing ratings.