Nef Quintero: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 11:13, 12 January 2012

The mind of Nef Quintero is your typical Generation Barney clusterfuck. Back in the 1990s the government decided they could no longer flunk kids anymore, as it might damage their incredibly fragile self-esteem. As such, schoolteachers started handing out good grades for having a sunny disposition and a shit-eating grin. This resulted in an entire generation of fuck-ups who think that they can never fail at anything and that they're always the absolute bestest, most unique little snowflake in all the world... which goes a long way in explaining why despite the fact that he's 19 years old he still acts very much like a prepubescent tweenage muppet fuck.

The Life An Elite Hacker

Home Life

As with so many l33t hackers you read about on ED, any positive aspects about Nef's life at home are entirely the creation of his own dejected mind. He describes his family as being a bunch of alcoholic drug addicts, which was likely a contributing factor in his mental dwarfism. He has no real friends to speak of, not even on the Internet. On his Twitter account you'll find he's friends with a few bot-operated spam whores as well as a number of different pop retail chain stores like Starbucks and Versace. A few times he's attempted to claim that he has a girlfriend, which is always followed by a desperate-sounding declaration of sexual conquest. When pressed for more information about "her" he will ignore you and pretend he never said anything about it in the first place; meaning that she doesn't even have a name in his mind.

Hobbies

Nef spends most of his time doing the most incredibly boring and mundane things imaginable, with a significant portion of his time hanging out at Starbucks for hours on end whilst pretending to have engaging chats with ~~hundreds~~ ~~scores~~ ~~dozens~~ one of his Internet admirers, while in reality he's constantly sending egregiously egotistical status updates to his Twitter account, describing everything from how he likes food to how his morning shower went. Of course, no one bothers to reply to the nonsensical fucksense, making the twisted mental web he weaves all the more difficult to follow.

In addition to pretending to have an Internet life within his non-existent real world life, he also constantly tries to portray himself as some kind of technical genius; a regular hacker extraordinaire, yammering on with the most contrived, incoherent techno-babble imaginable. Not since Computer Science III and Ted Stevens has there ever been so much meme potential within one chucklefuck. Enumerated below are just a few of the status updates responsible for Nef's continued loneliness. The phrase unwarranted self-importance is probably overused these days, but this faggot takes the cake.

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Programming TVs, beating up niggers who steal his phones, and emitting neurons. All in a day's work.

How to troll Nef Quintero

Nef Quintero is a borderline-insane, friendless spic, meaning rocking his world is pretty easy. Using the links below, flood his various inboxes with: