Kelly Kalogerakos

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Kelly Kalogerakos = infected with GOTIS You can help by not giving her any attention.

See pic of this beaut here...

Kelly Kalogerakos is a white knight heart-throb/female Charlie Sheen. A classic example of GOTI, she lures white knights from all over the interwebs. She must be VERY famous for doing this, because when you start typing her name into google, autofill brings up the web page for Nobuo Uematsu, the video game composer best known for his work in the Final Fantasy series (as well as Romancing Saga 2). The results usually yield her accounts on various websites, typically containing her crappy doodles, kegstand photos, shit cosplays, equestrian trophies, memes that have been on the internet for so long it isn't funny - and of course , brussel sprouts.

She will flog per pussy to/if they live within Nebraska, screw, the following:

• Azns
• Fat boring horny teens
• Actually...anything in trousers
• Also anything in a skirt
• Quidditch Beaters
• Apple fanboys
• Bill Shakespeare
• Zombie enthusiasts
• Shaq look-a-likes
• Dirty hippies
• Small mailmen
• Female super heroes

Despite the fact this web-tease has had a baby - and another is on the way, which she plans on naming Hrothgar OdinBeard "Bringer of Doom" - she's still to be found on the interwebs, in West Philadelphia born and raised on the playground is where I spent most of my days chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shootin' some b-ball outside of the school when a couple of guys who were up to no good started makin' trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said you're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "Fresh", and had dice in the mirror if anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget it, yo home to Bel-Air! I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo Holmes, smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air various guises much like Dana Carvey. Even when she openly admits to having a horse-cocked boyfriend (seriously it's like a baby's arm holding a granny-smith apple), she STILL proceeds to score dick and lure horny teenage boys (and underage girls) and other internet losers - and what's so funny is they actually fucking believe it, which you gotta admit, gives her an epic win at trolling.

Kelly can be provoked - upon finally fucking getting the message that it's all photos and no sex, disgruntled white knights typically turn on Kelly - and each time you can guarantee she'll flame back with these usual stories:

• I HAVE A BABY FOR FUCKS SAKE! HOW DARE YOU?!
• THIS IS SPARTA!!!
• CARL GET IN THE HOUSE!
• I NEVER ASKED YOU TO LIKE ME!
• DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN'T DO
• FINE. You WON'T find tits like mine anywhere else on the internet. Unless you go to shittyittybittytittycomitee.com
• I AM GOING TO BLOCK YOU, (But at some point later on she unblocks anybody at the receiving end of this one...)
• GOD DAMNIT, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

More or less, the quickest and most fun way to piss her off, is to tell her that Greedo shot first.

IRL though, when confronted - which usually is in her workplace - which is usually some crappy food outlet - or box making factory - she quits and storms out of the place, leaving the poor fuck who she's supposed to be dating not only without pussy, but without any fucking money whatsoever, because even when she's unemployed, she HAS to have a time machine and go back to an anime convention dressed in a blood-stained Haruhi cosplay - which due to her retardedness takes her a long time to fix up!

She also claims that IRL when drunk, she gets naked - kinda similar to when she's on the interwebs GOTI-ing her 'bad-ass pusseh', (self-description) all over the place.

Kelly Kalogerakos is part of a series on Whores Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.