Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.

Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Alien: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
← Older editNewer edit →
imported>DekoMan91
Hid missing images; adding to talk page; Removed link to non-existing ED page.
imported>Gray
No edit summary
Line 1: Line 1:
{{notice|'''This article is entirely factual. [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 Australiens have provided empirical evidence] that aliens are real (claims hijacked by aliens)!'''}}
[[image:Alien-Predator pool.jpg|400px|center]]
Throughout the modern era, '''Aliens''' have been depicted as [[furfags|brutal, uncivilized, murderous, raping molluscs]] that [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 steal out satellites for no reason]. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them ''are'' sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of [[anal]] [[rape]] crimes committed in [[Texas]] are done by [[Mexicans|extraterrestrial beings]], that doesn't mean that they're all bad.


[[Image:ThisIslandEarthBrian.jpg|thumb|A typical alien drone used for [[anal]] probes.]]
[[Image:Images.alien.jpg|thumb|left|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery]][[File:The taking of elian gonzalez.jpg|thumb|right|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51]]
'''Aliens''' are cephalopodan creatures from [[France]] that are often shown as [[furfags|brutal uncivilized murdering bastard]]s. But those are just blown-up lies; most aliens are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis.
Among their achievements are the invention and distribution of [[UFO|UFOs]], [[tentacle rape]], tacos, and burritos. Some have become presidents, top athletes, and even [[slurpee]] scientists. Nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable as they do our laundry, mow our lawn, iron our clothes, cook our food at Chinese buffets, and watch the kids when we're not home. They bring wealth, knowledge, and happiness to everybody.
It is a fact that most aliens are sex offenders - records show that 99.99% of [[anal]] [[rape]] crimes committed in [[Texas]] are done by extraterrestrial beings, or [[Mexican]]s. [[Contrary to popular belief]], Sk4t0r05 is not an alien, but a [[retard]] from a nearby country, and is often referred to as the ''German Vermin''. He ''is'', however, an [[Steve_Jobs|anal rapist]].


Sure they uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result accidentally anal probe [[goths]] and [[emos]], mistaking them for corpses, with their marvelous [[anal]] technology. And their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their tiny, quivering, angsty, rectums with their evil phallic-looking machines. But that's a small price to pay for their contribution to society.


== Man's best friend ==
<center><youtube>qCUZPBjBosI</youtube></center>
{{clear}}
==Gallery==
[[Image:The_taking_of_elian_gonzalez.jpg|thumb|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51.]]
{{cg||Alien Gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
[[Image:IllegalAliencostumetargetsold.jpg|thumb|A halloween costume honoring our alien friends.]]
Image:ThisIslandEarthBrian.jpg|A typical alien drone used for [[anal]] probes
[[Image:Images.alien.jpg|thumb|left|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery.]]
Image:Demotivator-aliens.jpg
<!-- [[Image:Ilegal Ailens.jpg|thumb|They took yer jeb!]] -->
Image:Growse.jpg|[[Rule 34|Even if it doesn't exist, there's porn of it]]
 
Image:Alien34 - 1.jpg
 
Image:Alien34 - 6.jpg
Over the centuries some aliens have become presidents, top athletes and even [[slurpee]] scientists. Yes, nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable; They do our laundry, iron our clothes and watch the kids when we're not at home.
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
The best thing about this is that we learn a lot from aliens, their superhuman ability to be completely apathetic to any form of [[drama]] is something we should all endeavor, it's even rumored that there are some aliens active at [[ED]]'s drama lexicon, [[Aussieintn]] for instance is definitely one.
Image:Alien34 - 5.jpg
 
Image:Alien34 - 4.jpg
Aliens bring wealth, knowledge and happiness to everybody, except for the few broken souls that create usernames that are half composed of numbers. These doomed non-entities almost uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result are made the targets of the aliens' marvelous [[anal]] technology. This includes the SIT (Small Intestine Translocator) and the ARD (Anal Rotation Device, presumably stolen from [[Nikola Tesla]]).
Their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their evil metal machines in the tiny, quivering rectums of unwilling young [[gothic]] teenagers.
 
Apart from that, they're kind friendly creatures who go to [[Christian|church]] every Sunday.  They also like to stare at people through windows in the middle of the night.  OMFG LOOK BEHIND YOU!
 
==The Famous Moshman Incident==
[[Image:Bush cheney offspring.jpg|thumb|Sometimes, aliens infiltrate the government.]]
 
Aliens mostly come out at night, but one particular alien ate too many shrooms on one occasion and became disoriented. After eating the face of a cat belonging to a suburban family, the police were contacted and began to undergo the pursuit of this dreadful/grotesque/lulzy creature. The creature, dubbed the Moshman, was eventually pursued by army helicopters, tanks and other awesome military crap. To the embarrassment of the US government, who went so far as to nuke half the world in an attempt to neutralize the alien threat, it was later revealed that this alien was in fact just a [[midget]] with a corset on its head.
 
 
 
 
 
 
okay, who's the jackass that blanked the article?
 
== Alien achievements ==
[[Image:Tiesto.jpg|thumb|Typical alien spaceship.]]
[[Image:Thehorror.jpg|thumb|right|<s>[[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS|HAHAHA, DISEGARD THAT, HE'S DEAD]]</s>Doing it wrong.]]
[[Image:igoearth.jpg|thumb|Freeloader aliens often try and solicit rides to Earth. Wise travelers do not pick them up.]]
<!-- [[Image:A10.jpg|thumb|Crazy alien genetic experiments]] -->
* The wide distribution of [[tentacle rape]] to all levels of society
* Laying the foundations of freedom and equality
* Documenting the [[holocaust]]
* [[UFO]]s
* [[Jews did WTC|Doing WTC]]
* Promoting grain export
* [[Slurpee]] genocide
* [[Trolling]] New Age dipshits by consistently [[Galactic Federation of Light|letting them down]].
 
==Famous Aliens==
[[Image:Alien.png|thumb|This alien makes handy use of his detachable penis for many different [[sex moves]].]]
 
*[[Marcabs]]
*[[Socrates]]
*[[E.T.]]
*[[Michael Jackson]]
*James Carville
*Marilyn Manson
*Kyle XY
*[[Your mom]]
*[[Raelian|The Elohim]]
*[[Alberto Gonzales]]
*[[Brian Peppers]]
*[[Mexican|Illegal Alien]]
*[[Xenu]]
*[[David Bowie]]
*[[Fag|You]]
*[[Fag|Ashtar Sheran]]
*[[TsimFuckis]]
*[[Xee-A Twelve|Amitakh Stanford]]
*[[Haruhi|Yuki Nagato]]
 
==Area [[34]]==
<gallery>
Image:Alien-fuck.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck2.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck2.jpg
Line 81: Line 26:
Image:Alien-fuck7.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck7.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck8.jpg
Image:Alien-fuck8.jpg
Image:Demotivator-aliens.jpg|Finally a demotivator
Image:34alien.jpg
<!-- Image:Motivatorefe4a4359547fdd4a214e5919128bd2b12ca0ee0.jpg| NEVER let them see you. -->
Image:Cephalopenis.jpg
Image:34alien.jpg|Rule 34. And it's not even proven if they really do exist.
Image:Alien.png|This alien makes handy use of his detachable penis for many different [[sex moves]]
Image:Cephalopenis.jpg|Alien dickhead.
Image:IllegalAliencostumetargetsold.jpg
Image:Growse.jpg|Raep.
Image:Bush cheney offspring.jpg|Sometimes, aliens infiltrate the government
Image:Alien34 - 1.jpg|You wished this was when you watched the movies
</gallery>}}
Image:Alien34 - 4.jpg|Hot Predalien(?) girl thingy
{{clear}}
Image:Alien34 - 5.jpg|Hot Xeno-human milf
Image:Alien34 - 6.jpg|This is you on meth
</gallery>
 
==Examples==
<center><youtube>qCUZPBjBosI</youtube></center>
<center>Moar: [[Dr. Steel]]</center>
<center><youtube>OCf6wsMq_PM</youtube></center>
<center>''UFOs sometimes lay eggs!''</center>
<center><youtube>iEUMlgoQvrI</youtube></center>
<center>''lul wut''</center>


==See Also==
==See Also==
*[[Vampire]]s
*[[Area 51]]
*[[Area 51]]
*[[Ghosts]]
*Famous Aliens
**[[Alberto Gonzales]]
**[[Xee-A Twelve|Amitakh Stanford]]
**[[Brian Peppers]]
**[[E.T.]]
**[[Spics|Hispanics]]
**[[Marcabs]]
**[[Michael Jackson]]
**[[Azns|Orientals]]
**[[Raelian|The Elohim]]
**[[TsimFuckis]]
**[[Haruhi|Yuki Nagato]]
**[[Xenu]]
*[[Vampires]]
*[[Zombies]]


{{truth}}
{{truth}}

Revision as of 20:53, 5 June 2012

Throughout the modern era, Aliens have been depicted as brutal, uncivilized, murderous, raping molluscs that steal out satellites for no reason. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them are sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of anal rape crimes committed in Texas are done by extraterrestrial beings, that doesn't mean that they're all bad.

A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery
An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51

Among their achievements are the invention and distribution of UFOs, tentacle rape, tacos, and burritos. Some have become presidents, top athletes, and even slurpee scientists. Nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable as they do our laundry, mow our lawn, iron our clothes, cook our food at Chinese buffets, and watch the kids when we're not home. They bring wealth, knowledge, and happiness to everybody.

Sure they uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result accidentally anal probe goths and emos, mistaking them for corpses, with their marvelous anal technology. And their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their tiny, quivering, angsty, rectums with their evil phallic-looking machines. But that's a small price to pay for their contribution to society.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also

Alien is part of a series on

Truth

Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article November 10, 2005
Preceded by
Ebaumsworld 		Alien Succeeded by
Ellen Feiss
Featured article November 20, 2005
Preceded by
Otherkin 		Alien Succeeded by
Internap
Retrieved from "https://edramatica.com/index.php?title=Alien&oldid=328859"