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Alien: Difference between revisions
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[[image:Alien-Predator pool.jpg|400px|center]] | [[image:Alien-Predator pool.jpg|400px|center]] | ||
Throughout the modern era, '''Aliens''' have been depicted as [[furfags|brutal, uncivilized, murderous, raping molluscs]] that [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 steal | Throughout the modern era, '''Aliens''' have been depicted as [[furfags|brutal, uncivilized, murderous, raping molluscs]] that [http://www.news.com.au/technology/nasa-spacecraft-hijacked-by-aliens/story-e6frfro0-1225865827901 steal satellites for no reason]. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them ''are'' sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of [[anal]] [[rape]] crimes committed in [[Texas]] are done by [[Mexicans|extraterrestrial beings]], that doesn't mean that they're all bad. | ||
[[Image:Images.alien.jpg|thumb|left|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery]][[File:The taking of elian gonzalez.jpg|thumb|right|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51]] | [[Image:Images.alien.jpg|thumb|left|A glance at the medical department of an alien space station; rectal-abdominal surgery]][[File:The taking of elian gonzalez.jpg|thumb|right|An alien apprehended by the CIA before being transported to Area 51]] | ||
Revision as of 00:22, 6 June 2012
Throughout the modern era, Aliens have been depicted as brutal, uncivilized, murderous, raping molluscs that steal satellites for no reason. But in reality, most of them are actually perfectly civilized rapists who genuinely care about their victims and are masters in the art of anal telekinesis. And even though most of them are sex offenders, as records show that 99.99% of anal rape crimes committed in Texas are done by extraterrestrial beings, that doesn't mean that they're all bad.
Among their achievements are the invention and distribution of UFOs, tentacle rape, tacos, and burritos. Some have become presidents, top athletes, and even slurpee scientists. Nowadays an existence without aliens is hardly imaginable as they do our laundry, mow our lawn, iron our clothes, cook our food at Chinese buffets, and watch the kids when we're not home. They bring wealth, knowledge, and happiness to everybody.
Sure they uniformly rob graves for sexual pleasure and as a result accidentally anal probe goths and emos, mistaking them for corpses, with their marvelous anal technology. And their horrid screams are often heard at graveyards as the aliens plunge their tiny, quivering, angsty, rectums with their evil phallic-looking machines. But that's a small price to pay for their contribution to society.
Gallery
See Also
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Alien is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article November 10, 2005 | ||
| Preceded by Ebaumsworld |
Alien | Succeeded by Ellen Feiss |
| Featured article November 20, 2005 | ||
| Preceded by Otherkin |
Alien | Succeeded by Internap |