Mike Tyson's Punch Out

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Actual screenshot from the original.

The upcoming remake offers realistic punchblack person action.

Mike Tyson's Punch Out is the timeless tale of how a bland, emotionless white guy can conquer every racial stereotype imagined. Coached by Al Roker, the hero (Little Albert) uppercuts his way to become the Mismatched Weight Class Champion of the World! This is probably one of the easiest Nintendo games to beat ever released. Every day some NES fucktard fanboy remembers how sweet this game used to be and forces his little buddies to watch him play this antiquated, racist, offensive game until he gets bored and invariably moves on to reminisce about Little Nemo the Dream Master for 20 minutes. YTMND has had over 9000 stupid parodies of it. black person stole my- SHUT THE FUCK UP THE FAD DIED YEARS AGO. Mike Tyson starred in it before he raped a bunch of 16-year-old girls and Nintendo decided to replace him with a generic white guy who somehow wasn't Lowtax.

Secret cheat Code: Up,up,down,down,left,right,left,right,b,a,b,a,start will give your character a sweet face tattoo.

The opponents

Kill whitey.

Use your 120lb boxer to become the heavyweight world champion and defeat Mike Tyson in his prime.

Glass Joe - unseasoned boxer whom you fight first. His attacks consist of getting punched 10+ times and falling down. Nintendo says he's French, but we call bullshit, since he actually stays in the ring until he's knocked out.

Von Kaiser - Closest thing to Hitler Nintendo would allow. He has a bad heart, and his super attack is "Final solution"

Piston Honda - Gook champion of the Beginners circuit. He attacks by utilizing some karate punching bullshit.

Don Flamenco - Some faggot from Spain. He holds a rose in his mouth and attempts to ass rape you.

King Hippo - Some fatass everybody thought was hard until they figured out his obvious weak spot .

Bald Bull - A secret muslim from Turkey. His Bull Charge is pretty impressive, which unfortunately does not make up for his lack of personality. Also, the drapes match the curtains.

Vodka Drunkenski - Some Russian pedophile who attempts to spread the joys of communism with you. Nintendo actually changed his name to Soda Popinski, because they were afraid of the butthurt parents might give them otherwise.

Great Tiger - A Paki that spins around and attacks you with SPESHUL MAGICZZ!!! then has a seizure like a retard.

Sand Man - black person that wants to stick it in Mac's pooper, Attacks by being an asshole

Super Macho Man - RELEASE THE BOGUS

Mr. Dream - Nintendo's Jew tactic after dumping Tyson from the game for going on a rape rampage (So they can re-release the same fucking game a million times like they so with all their titles) by proving once and for all that the white man will always be the dominant race on Earth.

Parodies

Michael Jackson's Punch-Out!

Barack Obama Punches Out Rush Limbaugh

Punch-Out!! Trailer - Nintendo Short Cuts

See Also

• Mike Tyson
• Nigga stole my bike
• NES

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