BIKECAT: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 11:09, 23 March 2014

BIKECAT is cruise control for cats. Originally posted on a 2chan pets forum, BIKECAT (aka "Kuma") eventually found his way to 4chan and other English speaking image boards due to his overwhelming popularity and awesome. Instead of shooping cocks and dick nipples onto him (unlike everything else that winds up on b) BIKECAT was an immediate hit, and tards started to request more photos of the white and grey cat wearing a red collar, riding around town in a bookbasket. Debate went back and forth as to whether to name him BIKECAT or BASKETCAT, however BIKECAT won out in the end because BASKETCAT is gay. BIKECAT has been featured in Caturday images, popular macros and other memes, and unless you live in one of those crappy countries that doesn't have internets yet, he is most likely relevant to your interests.

BIKECAT Begins

BIKECAT, enjoying delicious cake on his birthday.

Not much is known about the origins of BIKECAT or how his owner found him. A picture collage of a sickly, collar-less kitten leads some to believe that he was originally rescued from a gloomy ghetto in Japan. As the photos progress, the healing powers of the red collar are evident, as it slowly cures BIKECAT of his Diabeetus and AIDS. Noone knows who would be stupid enough to abandon such an awesome cat, but experts speculate that he or she is a douchebag.

Serious Cat

BIKECAT is known to have a grumpy look on his face in many of his photos. It is impossible to know why he always looks pissed off, but it might have something to do with that asshole snapping pictures at him non-stop.

Wikipedia Faggotry

BIKECAT does not approve of your faggotry.

Currently, TOW fails to recognize BIKECAT as a relevant subject for their shitty wiki, and his article has already been deleted several times. Apparently, the assbags at Wikipedia think that things like Golden Girls trivia, or the history of Bulgarian transvestites, are much more important topics than the greatest cat to ever live. However since TOW fails to document anything else in the internet without failing in the most horrible and anti-lulzy was as possible: it's probably better that they do not desecrate something as epic as BIKECAT.

BIKECAT Today

Kuma's owner has not posted any BIKECAT pictures on 2chan for a few months, leading some to speculate about the well being of our beloved furball. Some argue that BIKECAT may have met the same fate as other popular internet icons. But these ideas are ridiculous, as everyone knows that God-cats are immortal.

Fun Facts

BIKECAT's full IRL name is "Kuma goro", the Japanese translation of "Yogi Bear".
Is the Savior and next Emperor of Japan.
Fanbois refer to Kuma as "the King of Cats", "Superior Cat", or "Emperor of Cats", and many long to visit Japan just to pet him.
The red collar that BIKECAT wears says "<3 Dog" on it. It is unknown at this time whether or not BIKECAT actually likes dogs or not, however, it is more likely that his owner simply failed Engrish class.