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Fukushima 2012: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 06:52, 12 August 2014
Hey! | This article is an Encyclopedia Dramatica exclusive. This article is only for the discriminating lulz connoisseur. If you have any exclusive drama to add, click here. |
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Back in 2011, an earthquake and tsunami hit Japan and things changed forever. Any well-read EDiot is familiar with the drama associated with the Japan Crisis of 2011. To sum it up, besides effectively screwing Japan as hard as it has been fucked since WWII by Allied forces that took away their hard won colonies, nuked Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and planned to unleash swarms of bats onto Tokyo—this earthquake/tsunami was not the only drama to occur that day. At 3:26 pm on March 11th, 2011 a wall of water got into the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant and destroyed Japan forever. In fact this is so bad, Tokyo's soil is contaminated to the level of what would be classified as nuclear waste in the United States. You can imagine the political and economic ramifications of a mass evacuation of the greater Tokyo Area. And this is only the current bad news—as nuclear meltdowns can always go from bad to much worse. For example, a fuel tank in Reactor Unit 4 contains 5000 times the amount of Cesium 137 than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima. One could imagine the global environmental ramifications if this were to blow up or get hit by another wall of water.
The only hope is a group of retired engineers, nuclear experts, construction workers, and other volunteers have formed an organization called Skilled Veterans Corps for Fukushima (SVCF). Their main objective is simple: sacrifice their bodies so younger workers don't have to be exposed to radiation as the SVCF is commissioned to build a giant pyramid tomb to forever contain the mess that is Fukushima Daiichi—no this part isn't satire, this is straight real talk. So far this project has accomplished very little because of a corporate media blackout that is being pushed by International Atomic Energy Association (IAEA) and nuclear energy companies in the United States and Japan that don't want you to know that every time we have a meltdown we have to crank out cannon fodder and billions of dollars to compensate the mess each time. They also don't want you to know that the only way we can even begin to learn about the true costs of nuclear meltdowns is by examining them as they happen—meaning anyone can really be an expert on this issue and all the numbers it includes.
The Man with the plan
Yastel Yamada is a co-founder of the SVCF and he is currently on a series of tours in America promoting that political pressure needs to be directed towards the Japanese government to send relevant retired specialists and volunteers at the nuclear facility (instead of what TEPCO is currently doing) in an attempt to build a giant pyramid tomb before the situation gets any worse. The sarcophagus structure planned for construction in Japan's Fukushima-Daiichi will be much bigger than crumbling giant pyramid tomb already built in Chernobyl that will need an additional 1 billion dollars to make it even bigger.
So what is Yastel Yamada's plan?
Well there really isn't a plan beyond trying to build a giant pyramid tomb before the situation gets any worse. The reality about nuclear meltdowns is all science knows about how to deal with meltdowns is based on the previous two nuclear meltdowns, but this lack of knowledge isn't going to be a problem. First, since this is a relatively new subject, anyone who can read articles on Wikipedia can be an expert on nuclear science and what happens when nuclear power plants experience a meltdown. Second, this field of research is going to have a larger collection of data every 25 years or so as new research locations emerge in which scientists can observe and document this exciting new scientific field. These two advantages will allow scientists to have new research material to educate the populace more about the cost of nuclear meltdowns resulting from violating the most important rule in real-estate: location, location, location.
Data from the last three Nuclear Meltdowns
Anyone can be an expert on Nuclear Meltdowns with knowing the data, even you! Share your nuclear meltdown expertise with your friends!
Three Mile Island
- The cleanup project lasted from August 1979 - December 1993
- It had a 1 billion dollar cleanup
- 140,000 people were evacuated.
- The construction of nuclear power plants was halted in America.
- All the nuclear power plants in America are from this generation of technology, which is three generations behind the latest available nuclear technology and power plant design.
Chernobyl
- Chernobyl released 50-80 million Curies
- 400 times more radiation than Hiroshima
- 350,000 people displaced
- Total number of Chernobyl liquidators was 600,000. 50 to 10,000 of these liquidators have died from the job depending on who you ask.
- The total cost for Chernobyl was 235 billion dollars.
- A new pyramid tomb needs to be built over the current sarcophagus that will cost an estimated 1 billion dollars.
- This new pyramid tomb was suppose to be completed in 2005, but they'll get around to beginning construction eventually.
- A new medical condition, called the Chernobyl Heart, came into existence due to all the children in the locality of Chernobyl who have gaping holes in their hearts.
Animals:
Humans:
Fukushima
- The fuel tank in Reactor Unit 4 contains 5000 times the amount of Cesium 137 than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima.
- 400 tons of water enter the facilities every day and must be stored. This water cannot be recycled.
- Estimated total cost of at least 500 billion dollars so far. These costs don't consider an evacuation of the greater Tokyo area.
- The economic cost to Japan from the greater Tokyo area being forced to evacuated is unknown.
- The economic cost to the world economy from the greater Tokyo area being forced to evacuate is unknown.
- 36% of Children in the Fukushima Prefecture have been diagnosed with Thyroid growths.
Quotes from Experts
—Yastel Yamada talking about how these are leaking into the Pacific Ocean. |
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Video about how Japan is utterly fucked
Gallery
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This is the construction material of the "temporary" sea wall barrier that stands between the current unstable ruins and another tsunami. This wall is suppose to last for 40 years.
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The permanent storage plan for radioactive water—a giant ditch in the ground. Hopefully it won't leak ever.
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A giant clusterfuck.
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Contact information as moralfagging this issue isn't totally gay.
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The Liquidators' lead painted suits barely protect them from the radiation at the site.
See Also
External Links
- Skilled Veterans Corps for Fukushima English Website
- A Northern California group collecting data
- A rouge group of scientists, engineers, and hackers based in Japan collecting data about hotspots
- Constantly updating website with news about Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Meltdown
- Documentary about the IAEA's coverup of the Chernobyl meltdown
Fukushima 2012 is part of a series on Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage. |