Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Diary of a Wimpy Kid is a collection of diaries belonging to a sociopath who manipulates and lies to his friends, family and everyone else in order to climb the social ladder of middle school popularity, the most esteemed pillar of human value in his eyes. Believing that he will become rich and famous one day, Greg Heffley details all the petty, selfish and embarrassing shit that he does in his day-to-day life so that lusers in the future can laugh at his miserable, cringing, libel-filled life story years later, more likely when it is released to the public as proof to the motive behind some horrible tragedy than becoming a self-published work that people would want to see.

If you're a girl, then you probably have no idea what the fuck this is, as girls were given the faggy rip-off of this series called Dork Diaries.

Characters

• Greg Heffley - The unremarkable faggot responsible for writing these diaries, although he insists that they are "journals" as to not appear a total faggot.
• Rowley Jefferson - Greg's fat, twinky boyfriend that likes to listen to boy bands and play with girls' toys. Greg often takes advantage of his intellectual inferiority so he has somebody to play Kick the Autistic with.
• Rodrick Heffley - Greg's lowlife older brother and certified cool guy. He plays in a band called Löded Diper and doesn't afraid of anything.
• Manny Heffley - Greg's annoying little brother, pigfucker and fellow sociopathic manipulator who should be thrown out of a moving car. During the 2020 George Floyd protests, he became a symbol of the revolution.
• Frank Heffley - Greg's dad.
• Susan Heffley - Greg's mom.
• Fregley - The weirdest kid in Greg's school. He has a "secret freckle" in an unspecified area that he is eager to show to the normies. Fregley is the type of kid to eat his own poop and do weird dick-stroking shit with your dog while you're not looking.
• Holly Hills - A blonde bitch who Greg thinks of while he's jacking off. He finds her popularity very attractive.
• Rodney James - A minor and otherwise unnoteworthy character who played the role of a literal bush during a school play. The books however do not touch upon the fact of him murdering his own mother a decade later.

Lulzy Fan-fictions

Greg's No Nut November Diary of a Wimpy Kid: 25 years later Greg the Furry Previous Video | Next Video

Though there are no audio readings of it on YouTube, you might also be interested in reading Diary of a Supreme Gentleman , the manifesto of Elliot Rodger rewritten in the style of a Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.

#NotMyRodrick

Sometime in 2017, a new installment to the Diary of a Wimpy Kid film franchise was released and characters were being recasted, including fan-favorite Rodrick Heffley, who was formerly portrayed by Devon Bostick and replaced by some half-nipper named Charlie Wright who looks like a hipster douchebag version of Jeff the Killer. Obsessed fans of the franchise were pissed at this recasting and started the hashtag #NotMyRodrick in hopes that this fugly motherfucker would never act again.

Ryan Grantham

Ryan Grantham
Born	November 30, 1998 (26 years old)
Nationality:	Canadian
Gender	Male
Occupation	Child actor
Highscore	Killed 1
Top 50?	Need it be said?
Style	FPS, Single player
An Hero?	No; turned himself in.

Rodney James, as he appears in the book.

Ryan Grantham was a child actor who played Rodney James, a relatively unremarkable character in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. In March 2020, he shot his mom in the back of the head while she was playing piano and then sought out to assassinate Justin Trudeau. Realizing it would be a lot lulzier to a kill multiple people instead of just one raging homosexual, he then changed course for Simon Fraser University where he was a former student to become yet another Columbine copycat cunt. Once again, he had second thoughts and drove to the police station to turn himself in. In retrospect, Ryan Grantham should have been given the lead role in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie as he truly was a wimpy kid.

Loadout

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: .22 rifle	The gun he used to kill his mother.
Secondary: Unspecified firearm (x2)	2 unused firearms he packed for his quest. It's unclear what model they were, but they were probably .22 rifles just like the one he used to kill his mom.
Primary: MoLOLtov Cocktails (x12)	12 Molotov cocktails that were also packed for his quest but were also never used.
Perk 1: Blind Eye Pro	Easily hide from non-hostile and enemy NPCs alike while disguised as a bush.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count:	1/20 Killed his mom even though she was gonna die of cancer anyways.
Accuracy:	5/20 Technichally killed his only target, albeit point-blank. Justin Trudeau could still use that bullet though.
Style:	0/20 Anyone can shoot an old lady in the back of the head.
Butthurt:	5/20 Caused mild shock in the DOAWK fandom.
Bonus:	5/20 Bonus points for being nominally famous. Minus points for being uncommitted.
Total Score: 16/100 (F-)

Diary of a Wimpy Killer See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Mall Cop

See Also

• Captain Underpants
• Diary of Anne Frank
• The Turner Diaries