Call of Duty: Warzone

BREAKING NEWS!! The original game shut down and the new game was highly shat on. You can help by joining in the lulz

Call of Duty: Warzone (a.k.a. Same Shit, Different Disk) is the game that signifies the end times. Created from the engine that created the Tom Clancy knock off Call of Duty: Modern Warfare (2019), it’s basically like PUBG but better, but not by much. The only reason why this shit ever came about is because it’s Activision’s second attempt to ruin the unique and interesting identity of the franchise and copying Fortnite’s business model.

But Why?

The main series was starting to fall in sales and player count. After doing the same shit over and over again, they decided to create a unique type of game and got shat on by the community for being too different. So they have to shit out a new one from a good genre at the time that everyone will love. This soon-to-be abomination was sort of hinted in the main game with multiple maps from Ground War and the main Spec Ops games seemingly look like to be connected to a huge map, like in a Battle Royale. Shit ton of insider knowledge hinted the existence of this game. After a few months after the shit can that was the 2019 release, Activision would release the new and highly innovative evil curse called Warzone.

The Gameplay

You’ll be glad to know that it’s what you expect. It’s a barebones, big ass-fuck, open world map akin to Ubisoft with a player count over a hundred and mainly consisting of drop in, loot, walk for 15 minutes, kill some assholes, walk some more, die from snipers, and repeat. You can be genuinely retarded and still win since winning isn’t guaranteed to people who actually have skill. So your best strategy is to camp in a small building and wait for other retards to come in order to drop shoot them. You know, like every fucking ”unique and quirky” BR game since H1Z1 and PUBG. But hey, at least it’s free, a original thing that has been pumped out for the first time in a long time.

All the new “innovations” doesn’t matter as the game mode (it’s not a genre dumbass) in it’s current state is fucking boring to play through and requires no thought process to comprehend and get good. And still, Children and Pedophiles still eat this shit like candy coded crack in order to become the next E-sports wannabe.

Innovation

Gulag: If you get ass fucked on the first half of the game like a retard, you get to rejoin the game again by winning one round of 1v1. Possibly the only good thing about this dumpster fire as it actually takes, GASP, SKILL to actually win the match. No reason why they can’t have all the matches be that way since Diversity Hire: WW2 Edition did it but we know that the companies and the publishers are greedy bastards who don’t have a since ounce of original though left, because that requires money. This shit doesn’t matter in the long way as the rest of the game still functions like a camping simulator.

Money: A nice reference to the why this game was made in the first place, players can buy a support in order to assist them finding their latest victim. Most of them are just carbon copy of the killstreaks from previous COD games. Players can find them by robbing, killing other players who are also robbing, and fulfill a contract by killing one specific person. It really makes you feel like an American Military Soldier during the 2000s.

Starter Pistol: This feature lets you at least not get gang raped by the RNG system too much. You can also snipe other retard midair while also being in midair.

Field Upgrades: Another carbon copy from 2019, this feature gives you a plethra of cool items that mostly mitigates the resource gathering aspect of the mode. The developers are very self-conscious when adding this feature since they know how fucking boring scavenger hunts are in real life.

Loadout System: This is the only thing most sweats in this game care about. You can pick your own load outs you made before you joined a match. These things are 1000x better than any ground loot you will find. It also gives out perks, which is something you will never pick up at all.

Metas

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