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Time Magazine: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 20:11, 1 March 2015

Typical Time Magazine cover.

Time Magazine is a staggeringly boring attempt by the old media to make presidential bullshit interesting. Instead, they spend half of their time talking about arts, fashion, and general crap so that people will buy their magazine, even if it's just to wipe their asses on. Time is very self-referential, spending at least 12 hours every day writing a story about how "influential" its stories are. The magazine itself rarely has a decent article, the last one being in 1991.

Time = marcabs.

The cover in question.

Before internets existed, Time wrote the first truthful article about Scientology, calling it the "thriving cult of greed and power." This is quite lulzy, because the old media rarely covers the cult, due to butthurt from many Scifags. It ended up as the cover story, which is even lulzier. Needless to say, the writers were thoroughly raep'd by the OSA and their legal team. Nonetheless, the article went out, but because it was in Time Magazine, no one actually read it.

Time and JewTube

Oh God no.

In 2006, the person of the year was you. That's because of JewTube's raep of the internets, which made Web 2.0 officially shit. However, Time's faggy editors decided to suck the viral cock of both their readers and the final bosses of the internets, so they wrote a bullshit million-page story about fatasses with webcams. Dumbshits flocked to YouTube, making it permanently shitty.

The cover featured a Mac, and a mirror was glued onto where the computer screen would be. This caused many liberals and old people to piss themselves in delight. The rest of the magazine fucking sucked, and instead of featuring JewTube stars, they just interviewed a bunch of dumbshits nobody cares about. Way to fuck up the internets.

Moot is a Faggot

Last Thursday, (srsly), Moot was interviewed by Time in a one-page story about 4chan. The article itself was truthful, pretty much talking about how lolcats were stolen from Anon and how "4chan is a horrible place." Still, it's another shitty attempt by Time to appeal to the TOTALLY RADICAL YOUNG AUDIENCES, and another attempt by moot to Jew Many god-fearing /b/tards went batshit at the sight of this article. Needless to say, an abnormal influx of faggotry appeared in the vast caves of 4chonz, fucking up yet another part of the internets for good. moot also claimed spammers don't come to 4chan, despite the fact that sites like Anontalk.com spam every thread at least once.

It is also in this article (and another one by the Wall Street Journal) that Moot reveals his IRL name. He tells Time Magazine that it is Christopher Poole. However, /b/tards speculate that moot is being a giant troll, as Christopher Poole stands for CP, Closed Pool, etc. A Google search for Christopher Poole yields only a faggy photographer, some weird-ass directories, and other shit I didn't feel like looking at. So moot's real identity still remains a mystery.

The Greatest Trolling Known to Man

IRL the reason moot was on the list of 100 Most Importants was because he was the winnar of the online vote. Seemingly unbeknownst to all, the vote was indeed hacked by hackers of hackery. The result lies below, an image that will make you shit brix at its implications. TIME, one of the most iconic magazines of the now, was insidiously trolled for graet justice. SAUCE/Confirmation: [1]

Articles

Gallery

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See Also

Links

Time Magazine is part of a series on YouTube.

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Time Magazine
is part of a series on
Fuck reading. Just use Sparknotes.See Also