Broken/Chans/Featured Article/Archive

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November 2022

Featured Article - Hiroyuki Nishimura

Hiroyuki Nishimura aka "hiro," Hiroshima Nagasaki, or moot-two, is a "kind of a big deal" person in the web's *chan 'scene, being an overlord of various web companies and known meme master.

Hiroyuki Nishimura was at one point, and in some respects still is, the Japanese version of moot. He's the founder of 'Jap video-sharing site Nico Nico Douga, creator of 2channel, and alleged wanna-be gravure idol. Hiroyuki is currently (Since 2015) the owner/admin of USA-based imageboard/c*han 4chan. Hiro bought 4chan from moot, after moot ragequit his own site so that he (moot) could turncoat on Anons by working for Google instead of a *chan site. Hiro has half-assedly operated 4chan since then. But, whatever, right?...

(( HIRO ))

October 2022

Featured Article - Pony Cum Jar Project

The Pony Cum Jar Project (also known as the MLP Cum Jar) was a 4channer's little home project, which involved placing a My Little Pony figurine inside of a jar, and then filling said jar with his own jizz. According to the Danish brony behind the project, he was inspired by 4chan's infamous Cum Collector; and soon started a new cum collection of his own, but with a twist: being a filthy brony, he placed a figurine of Rainbow Dash inside the jar.

Day in; day out; he filled the jar, little by little. However, one night, he left his cum jar on top of a radiator that was interconnected to a furnace; boiling his cum with both the jar and the MLP figurine inside it; a fate not even Hitler would wish upon anyone. Now his jizz was brown and caramelized, and there were brown stain lines where the cum had sunken due to its solidification fused to the jar as well as on the figurine. He then made a thread on 4chan's mlp/ board, announcing that his experiment was a failure. Apparently, he had plans to bury the jar when it was full and it smelled like "200 rotting corpses". This failure, however, did not stop him from chasing his destiny, and he started anew. After years of putting his sploodge on the grind, his long-awaited destiny was finally realized.

(( EWWWW ))

December 2015

Featured Article - Cracky-chan

Cracky-chan is the name given by 4chan to pictures of an English schoolgirl named Olivia Fields posted by legendary Stalker Warchief Rend Niggerhand. Primarily taken from her Live Journal account ScareCrowMaiden, the pictures displayed an unusual depth of aesthetics for a teenager, and were promptly declared both cute and sweet by Anonymous.

As Anonymous collectively felt the blossoming of his first love he proceeded to enact a rite that would later come to define every relationship he would have: he obsessively wrote graphic accounts of her rape while actively stalking (GOOGLE LULZ) her.

Fearing for her life Cracky QUIT THE INTERNET and went into deep hiding as a dedicated cadre of neckbeards and pedophiles entitled the circlejerk girded their loins, cracked their Mountain Dews, and began to fap furiously to the thought of actually finding her. Cracky-chan is very important in the history of Trolltalk (often known as 20721), although Trolltalk is not important in the history of anything.

(( THE QUEEN OF /b/ FOREVER AND EVER ))

July 2014

Featured Article - Independence Day Invasion

Shutdown4chan, or #ShutDown4Chan, was a trolling act conducted co-operationally by /b/ and /pol/, it started out in the early summer of 2014 when an oldfag on /b/ got creative and found out he could have some good ol' fun, he did this by starting a false flag tumblr campaign under the guise of a feminazi blaming all the problems in the world on 4chan and rallied /b/ into it.

It was quickly revealed to be a trolling act, likely since most of its participants were cancerous little faggots who had no idea what rules 1 & 2 are and why they must never be broken, but the snowball was kept rolling by social justice warriors who think the internet is serious business.

(( #SHUTDOWN4CHAN ))

January 2014

Featured Article - 99chan

99chan is a recreated 78chan. They have some cool elitist mods and shitty boards. If it is win or not is up for debate but what is fact is that whatever this chan does it does at 1/4 the speed of all other chans leading some to believe it is being hosted on a mod's iphone. This board is slow as balls. A post about someone's birthday will literally be there next year, with about 2 posts more. If you're used to the epic speed of 4chan's /b/, prepare to be disappointed.

(( 99CHAN ))

July 23, 2013

Featured Article - Desuchan

Desuchan is the place where thousands upon thousands of Desufaggots go for all of their Rozen Maiden needs. This website was made by a weeaboo pedo named Dark Master Schmidt and has since been inhabited by fans of the anime as well as many other people ranging from dramafags to touhoufags and the occasional /b/tard troll. The said imageboard contains boards dedicated to the dolls, as well as a general Rozen Maiden board, containing nothing but pure pictures of Dolljoints. It also has numerous other boards, such as /loli/, /rp/, /touhou/, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.

Desuchan has been around longer than The Internet and was created by Al Gore as a government investigation to determine how to make people whiny faggots. The investigation determined that if a large amount of touhoufags and rpfags are held on the same board for an indefinite amount of time, everyone, even the neutralfags, will end up being a pissy bitch. During its early days, Desuchan spent most of its time getting brought down by DDoS against its shitty server, with the once cancer-free Bokuchan serving as a temporary refuge during outages. Lately, uptime increased dramatically, and apart from the occasional v&, things are just fine thanks.

(( DESUCHAN~ ))

June 4, 2013

Featured Article - U-18Chan

U-18Chan is an image board that's managed by furs who think they're Nazis. The group was originally known as AuroraFurries. They flooded /b/ with yiff in an attempt to make a name for themselves. Naturally, /b/ responded accordingly and Aurora Furries Theater happened.

(( NOW THEY'RE RUINING NAZIS TOO ))