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Revision as of 19:40, 9 June 2015

The British Broadcasting Corporation declared 2014 the Year of the Whores.

Whore (also know as Slut) is a woman who spends more time with a dick inside her than making sammiches. While they usually demand payment for their services (usually money, drugs, items from their wishlist, or attention), whores love the cock for itself. And thanks to the bullshit of feminists, every other girl drinks semen for breakfast, an ironic feat given that they all say that they'd only fuck porn-stars, the richest 10%, Alexander Skarsgard, and each other.

Characteristics

This is a prostitute, not a whore. She wants money for more blow.

Whores come in all shapes and sizes, from the underdeveloped anorexic crackhead to the morbidly obese who are able to shit out eight wastes of human resources in one go.

  • Whores are prone to many of the same difficulties as prostitutes, namely STDs, powdered pimp slaps, mesothelioma, rickets and threats of pwnage from angry cheated-on girlfriends. In addition, while prostitutes have a steady income stream, whores are usually broke.
  • Whores wear too much makeup and, unless they're goth, pay for too many visits to the tanning bed.
  • Most whores are unlikely to make it past high school, but the regular whore is usually shameless enough to talk some guy into giving her a job or a home by giving him a blowjob (and then not doing any work). But because men tire of whores quickly, they have to start all over again six months later.
  • Loose, sagging vagina is a dead giveaway. If a woman can shoplift a cucumber in her panties, she's definitely a whore.
  • Whores are often fuckable in their teens but all of the STDs and unplanned pregnancies will catch up with them by their early 20's.
  • In addition to semen, whores can survive off beer and other cheap alcoholic products because said beverages can often lead to "massive pounding" which is what all whores ultimately crave.
  • Sporting tacky tattoos in the pelvic region, upper thigh, or lower back. If a girl in a bar asks you if you want to see her "tats" and there is no visible ink on her scantily-clad body, run away as fast as possible.

Types

<video type="youtube" id="-zmZfoMkVt8" width="300" height="270" position="right" frame="false"/> Attention whore: Will suck cock for attention.

  • 16-year-old girl: Usually pretending to be 20, to avoid getting banned from porn sites, will suck cock because their fathers never loved them (often because their whore mothers divorced them when they got itchy for new cock), they are lonely, and need penises inside of them to get used to their future careers as prostitutes.
  • Drama whore: Will suck cock and become a lolcow for attention.
  • Wikislut: Will suck cock and edit TOW for attention.
  • Scenewhore: Will suck cock because their friends are doing it (i.e. to get her friends' attention).
  • Skank: Will suck cock if no one else is doing it (i.e. to be notable, as in, for attention).

Camwhore: Will suck cock for items on their wishlists.

Cocktease: Will say that she doesn't suck cock only to be lusted after more and have more cocks to suck. Cockteases are the biggest gold-digging sluts of all, as "saving their virginity for marriage" merely means commercializing it.

Comment whore: Will suck cock for thumbs ups.

Crackwhore: Will suck cock for drugs, usually crack, hence the name.

Fat whore: Will suck cock for food, but not homeless.

Hotard: (Ho + tard) Will suck cock because they're stupid. Kind of a mystery why this is a category since all women are stupid and suck cock.

Prostatot: Will suck cock because their daddy told them to.

Sellout: Will suck cock for money (see: porn star, prostitute, and stripper)

Tranny Whore: Will suck cock for hormones (see: Robert Wayne Stiles )

Man Whore: See video on the right

Gypsy Hooker Whore: Will suck cock for compliments, asspats, and attention. Enormous noses. Has a penchant for making shit jewellery, wearing awful dresses and turning up at fetes.

Trolling whores

The appropriate response towards meeting a whore

Be warned that the average whore can't tell a computer from a microwave oven, so it's unlikely she'll ever be able to figure out how to get online to refute you. Contact her friends, tell them about it and they'll show her.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Quotes

   
 
Request: Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
 

 
 

"Wife material" girl says it all

   
 
Response 1: Simply put, he says, she’s offering her looks and he’s offering his money. “But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!” She is, he says, “a depreciating asset” and adds that “a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.”
 

 
 

Moral: Date, don't marry.

   
 
Response 2:Don't spend extra on designer clothing (unless the piece is very special, pretty, or makes you look fantastic).
 

 
 

—Tips on wasting money from "How to Marry a Man with Money"

   
 
Response 3: i would love 2 marry a rich man lol not that i’m a gold digger or anything.
 

 
 

If you don't like a word, redefine it!

   
 
Response 4: Does any woman ever set out to date a poor man? Of course not!
 

 
 

—Marriage is "sacred" or a sophisticated con game

   
 
Hey /b/, My name is Khadija. I've got this huge problem. I can't seem to keep my legs closed. It's like every time a guy walks by, I have to pull down his pants and suck him off. It's horrible! I've had sex with many guys...I'm not sure how much longer my vag can take it. /b/ is there anything I can do about this? I may be a ticking AIDS bomb waiting to explode. They won't even let me into pools! When ever I get angry my vagina grows huge and pink like the incredible vaginal hulk!
 

 
 

—Unrelated Copypasta

See Also

External Links

Whore is part of a series on

Whores

Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage.