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| | '''Anime News Network''' is essentially the [[Kotaku]] of all of [[Anime]] news when it hits the United States of America or the United Kingdom or Canada or where the fuck ever they speak english. Though they claim themselves the "The Internet's Most Trusted Anime News Source", it's been documented, polled, and researched heavily that anyone with half of a brain and no one with a conscience would ever come to receive their news here. Just like [[Faux News|Fox News]], their agenda revolves heavily around: |
| Anime News Network(or ANN for short) is a [[weeaboo]] [[butt-hurt]] website devoted to [[animu]] with shitty news they steal mostly from [[2ch]]. If you can access [[2ch]] you're better off even though it is in japanese because then you don't have to put up with their stupid [[weeaboo]] crap. | | |
| | *enforcing people to buy Anime DVDs in the face of a failing market and the rise of digital media, when not realizing that entertainment from another country has its prerogative on pleasing its home nation, has its own interpretations in other nations, and that they aren't in that nation, |
| | *demonizing and hetrodoxying the act of online digital distribution by torrents and fansites, |
| | *through the influence of [[Zac Bertschy]], attempt to ban all moeh animu because they believe that another country should have every right and word in to sway and dictate what the home nation of anime should push out, |
| | *forgetting the fact that their job is little much to just being a glorified foreign anime connoisseur, and that they are in a conundrum that the world they live in doesn't produce animu or mangao, |
| | *halfassed and cocksucker esque attempts to make the anime fandom population look like "normal people" when all they gather are elitist forum lurkers, remain in self-denial in the truth that their hobby have roots through ostracization and social exclusion, and that they are desperately attempting to make any grab for attention and social acceptance, |
| | *through associations with an [[Colony Drop|underground bitter nerd run anime fansite]], further run a self centered agenda and encourage the worst of fandom hobby behavior, especially to those who do go to their forums unsupervised at a young age. |
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| Long, long ago in the past, ANN use to be a bit less fail than it is now. They use give non-biasist news. However, they seen and realized what other tv news channels are doing, and decided to become total shit. This was due to the fact that they were loosing money, and that [[fag|Sevakis]] wanted to ensure he could [[fap]] to all the drama he would cause when he started to make bullshit news stories.
| | The truth stings, ''don't it?'' |
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| [[image: lemonparty.jpg|thumb| Justin Sevakis, Issac Alexander and Zac Bertschy during one of their famous orgy parties]]
| | ==Their main shit they dump out== |
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| == HISTORY == | | ==Animu Neus Nina== |
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| Anime News Network was founded by [[pedobear|Justin Sevakis]] in July 1998 because he was sick of having to go to japan to get loli porn. In May 2000, because Sevakis's wrist was getting so sore from all the fapping he was doing to loli he hired well known assistant [[cock]] stroker Isaac Alexander to stroke his dick while he continued to make, steal, publish news . In the fall of 2004, the editorial staff at ANN became formally involved with the anime magazine [[shit nobody cares about|Protoculture Addicts]] only go out of business after 2 years. [[LOL]]
| | ==ANN Shit== |
| | | *[http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/ Their head site] |
| == FEATURES? == | |
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| ANN has a bunch of worthless articles no one really gives a shit about except for reviews and [[fag|Answerman]]. All the other sections are filler with images of shitty [[animu]] not even [[weeaboos]] give a fuck about. This is mostly due to the fact that all staff who work for Anime News Network are atleast 30 years of age, think that all Miyazaki movies are the best shit EVAR! And probably have BO so bad they could kill a cat in less than 30 seconds in a confined space.
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| [[image:Anime_news_nina_animefan.jpg|thumb|How Anime News Network sees the ordinary [[animu]] fan]]
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| [[Redundant|Long, long ago in the past, ANN use to be a bit less fail than it is now. They use give non-biased news. However, they seen and realized what other tv news channels are doing, and decided to become total shit.]]
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| == Hey Answer[[fag]]s! ==
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| [[fag|Zac Bertschy]] is a self hating basement dweller who's also a virgin and loves sucking his own cock. His article Hey Answerman! Was totally devoted to his fans to suck and stroke his [[cock]] for eternity, which involves him answering stupid [[weeaboo]] questions that he finds the answers to via [[google]]. There isn't one answerman article that didn't have someone sucking on his tiny pathetic pint size [[dick]].
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| [[image:obeseman.jpg|thumb| Zach as seen writing his answerfag blog.]]
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| Not only that but near a period of time there wasn't one article where [[fag|Zac]] wasn't insulting [[weeaboos]] at the same time while answering their retard questions. Unfortunately because they're all [[fucktards]] too stupid to see how much Zac thought they were, because they were all [[13 year old boys]] who were never born with a brain to begin with.
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| == Flake of the Week ==
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| Is a pathetic excuse of what Zac considers to be [[lulz]]. Most of them are from [[faggot]] [[animu]] retards who think that he sucks for no real reason and are full of fail. This could be indeed proof that all of the people on ANN are retards. Either that or it's all made up, lol.
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| {{quote|If i could change anything about the way anime is released in america it would be to keep the origanal art. becuase i have seen Naruto on cartoon network and yes they say its for kids but they take out all the blood, cussing and most of what jiriya does. i watch Naruto on the internet and i feel sorry for the american watchers who dont get to see everything. i would also so dont change the theam songs or take them out you have to have a theme song! this is my first time emailing the answerman thing so this might not have been what you are looking for but arigatou!|Some Retard weeaboo possibly Chris-chan}}
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| Proof that ANN could be trying to troll each other, or that maybe all their fans are [[13 year old boys]].
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| == Answerman Proof of Faggorty ==
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| {{quote|In the spirit of defusing all that anger and tension, this week's edition of Hey, Answerman! will focus entirely on positive things. What's more positive than rainbows and kittens? NOTHING. And anyone who says otherwise is an empty-headed moron..|Proof Zac is a [[faggot]] and a [[furry]].}}
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| {{quote|I'm not really an anime fan, in the basic sense of the word. I'm sure that will be quoted out of context every time someone wants to slam me for being a phony, but it is basically the truth (with a lot of caveats).|Zac admits to being a hypocrite [[weeaboo]], much worse than being a real one.}}
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| {{quote|Welcome to the internet, where nobody's allowed to have a moderate opinion and worthless blanket judgments are the order of the day.
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| |Zac not reading what he has written}}
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| “Well, that's not entirely true. But I am hangin' up my answerin' hat, at least as the column's regular writer, for good.”
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| -Zac is leaving but unfortunately for us the same can't be said for his faggy underlings.
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| == Post-Answer[[fag]] ==
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| After a while being sick of being a butt-hurt virgin, another [[weeaboo]] decided to take over, his name is [[fag|Brian Hanson]]. <s> At this moment he seems to be fine-</s> [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]] He's a whiny little [[faggot]] too!
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| [[image:Gay_teen.jpg|thumb|File photo of Ben Hanson.]]
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| == Funimation vs. ??? ==
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| [[Last Thursday]] some [[weeaboo]] decided to hack into Funimation's server to upload the latest episode from [[One Piece]]. Funimation was so butt-hurt by this they decided to take down the video [[delete|baleeted fucking everything!]] It seems like funimation is ran by 16 year old girls.
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| A week later it happened again, this time with [[Full Metal Alchemist]]: Brotherhood (an [[animu]] about Edward Elrick [[incest|fucking]] his brother Alphonse, srsly that's all there is in it). They also released another [[animu]] no one gives a shit about either.
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| == ANN vs. Fansubs==
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| [[Last Thursday]] ANN posted a total baw about the evils of fansubbing. For those who don't know fansubbing is done by [[animu]] fans who can actually speak japanese and turn it into english for free.
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| But the [[animu]] world was very upset at this, companies like [[nazi|ADV]] and Jew were very [[butthurt]] by the fact that [[weeaboos]] were [[fapping]] to free [[animu]] porn. So they paid off ANN to support them full heatedly. Now every article that ANN puts up has something against fansubs and about how fansubbing is [[wrong|lie]].
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| [[image:Anime_news_nina_fansubs.jpg|thumb|How Anime News Network thinks fansub lovers act.]]
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| {{quote|I'm compelled to argue with your "without fansubs, there are no fans!" thing. I've been hearing this more and more and frankly, it's a huge load of horseshit. Over the years, artists routinely thank their fans; "I wouldn't be here without you," etcetera. They acknowledge and occasionally obey their fans. Why is that? Because the fans support the artist by purchasing their work, buying their movies and merchandise, attending concerts, introduce new fans to the work, all of that. That's why the moniker "fan" is supposed to demand a certain level of respect from the artist, because it's a mutually beneficial relationship. That's why fans are often catered to, that's why artists routinely show their appreciation for their fans.
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| |Zac [[doing it wrong]]}}
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| == BAWWW + FUNIMATION + ANN = PROFIT!! ==
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| Because funimation is paid to not endorse any fansubs due to the fact [[animu]] companies lose money, every free minute they have they will shove this shit down the throats of everyone that fansubs are bad mm'kay?
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| Because of this, [[fag|Brian Hanson]] the new answer [[fag]] decided to throw a hissy fit much like the 16 year old girls the people on Funimation are and wrote this little rant:
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| Before I get into any sort of speculation: seriously, f*** that guy. That guy that wormed his way through Funimation's servers and gained access to the episode's video file and then posted it for other like-minded leeches. F*** him. Why would any person do that, aside from being a nefarious little f***-up trying to ruin everything? If he really, really wanted an episode to download to his hard drive, he could've waited a day or two for the other bajillion fansub groups who for one reason or another would have "issues" with Funimation's translation and do their own. F*** that guy and I hope that all his hopes and dreams are crushed and he leads a sad, lonely life devoid of purpose and meaning.
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| -Brian proving he's got the patience of a [[13 year old boy]]. [[BAWWWWW]]
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| ==Denial==
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| {{quote|[[wrong|"animu" is just another 4chan in-joke.]] It probably came from some specific post somewhere that some [[irony|sad nerd]] on Encyclopedia Dramatica can recite verbatim.|[[Anime News Network]]|[http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/answerman/2010-02-12]}}
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| == How to Troll ANN ==
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| *Go to their forums
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| *Upload a ton of sites for fansubs
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| *Say [[fag|Zac Bertschy]] was a 40 year old [[fag]]got
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| *Say that anyone who buys [[animu]] is a [[fucktard]]
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| *Say that [[Naruto]] is a shitty [[anime]]
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| *Mention that you're glad that guy uploaded free [[animu]] before funimation
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| *Mention You're the guy who did it!
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| *Say that [[anime]] wouldn't be anywhere without fansubs
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| *say you never buy [[anime]]
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| *Say that you hate all [[censorship]] in [[anime]]
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| *Say that you support all censorship in [[anime]]
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| *Ask ANN how much money they get from [[animu]] companies to not support fansubs.
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| *say all cosplayers look like fat arseholes
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| *Tell Brian he's got a small cock
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| *E-mail Answerman with [[goatse]], [[tubgirl]] any shock photos you can find
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| *[[???]]
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| *[[PROFIT!]]
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| == External Links==
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| *[mailto:[email protected] Answerman E-mail! Send him goatse and tubgirl, show weeaboos how trolling is really done!] | |
| *[http://www.animenewsnetwork.com The Site] | |
| *[http://twitter.com/annzac Zac Bertschyon twitter]
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| *[http://www.facebook.com/people/Zac_Bertschy/724026132 On Facebook]
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| {{Anime}} | | {{Anime}} |
| [[Category:Anime]][[Category:Fandom Stuff]] [[Category: Drama-generating techniques]] | | {{Truth}} |
| | [[Category: Sites]] |
Anime News Network is essentially the Kotaku of all of Anime news when it hits the United States of America or the United Kingdom or Canada or where the fuck ever they speak english. Though they claim themselves the "The Internet's Most Trusted Anime News Source", it's been documented, polled, and researched heavily that anyone with half of a brain and no one with a conscience would ever come to receive their news here. Just like Fox News, their agenda revolves heavily around:
- enforcing people to buy Anime DVDs in the face of a failing market and the rise of digital media, when not realizing that entertainment from another country has its prerogative on pleasing its home nation, has its own interpretations in other nations, and that they aren't in that nation,
- demonizing and hetrodoxying the act of online digital distribution by torrents and fansites,
- through the influence of Zac Bertschy, attempt to ban all moeh animu because they believe that another country should have every right and word in to sway and dictate what the home nation of anime should push out,
- forgetting the fact that their job is little much to just being a glorified foreign anime connoisseur, and that they are in a conundrum that the world they live in doesn't produce animu or mangao,
- halfassed and cocksucker esque attempts to make the anime fandom population look like "normal people" when all they gather are elitist forum lurkers, remain in self-denial in the truth that their hobby have roots through ostracization and social exclusion, and that they are desperately attempting to make any grab for attention and social acceptance,
- through associations with an underground bitter nerd run anime fansite, further run a self centered agenda and encourage the worst of fandom hobby behavior, especially to those who do go to their forums unsupervised at a young age.
The truth stings, don't it?
Their main shit they dump out
Animu Neus Nina
ANN Shit
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Anime News Network is part of a series on
Anime
Visit the Anime Portal for complete coverage.
|
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Anime News Network is part of a series on
Truth
Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.
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