- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
DJ KEEMSTAR: Difference between revisions
imported>Oddguy |
imported>MutinyMate Amazing what can happen when you neglect an article for over 3 years |
||
Line 5: | Line 5: | ||
[[Image:Djs233.jpg|thumb|right|Dan Keem: [[IRL]] 30 year old faggot with a lust for children.]] | [[Image:Djs233.jpg|thumb|right|Dan Keem: [[IRL]] 30 year old faggot with a lust for children.]] | ||
[[Pedophile|DJ Keemstar]] ([[Powerword]]: Daniel Keem) is a leader of a clan on [[xbox|exbawcks]] [[Xbox Live|live]] made up of [[12-year-old boys|12 year olds]] known as the [[12-year-old boys|"Federation of Asshole Gamers"]] or the [[faggot|"F@G"]]. He gained a following of | [[Pedophile|DJ Keemstar]] ([[Powerword]]: Daniel Keem) is a leader of a clan on [[xbox|exbawcks]] [[Xbox Live|live]] made up of [[12-year-old boys|12 year olds]] known as the [[12-year-old boys|"Federation of Asshole Gamers"]] or the [[faggot|"F@G"]]. He gained a following of [[12-year-old boys|12 year old]] [[Halo]] [[fanboys]] who call their [[BDSM|dungeon master]] [[Lie|"Halo's #1 Trashtalker"]]. [[IRL]], he's a [[butthurt]] father with an extreme amount of [[unwarranted self importance]]. DJ spends his life on [[Xbox Live]], [[BlogTV]], and [[jewtube|Youtube]] where [[Talentless|he has 50,000 subscribers from dick riding]] machinima directors and [[Call of Duty]] commentators. He begged them to advertise his YouTube channel but, hilariously enough, the only people that actually subscribed were [[12-year-old boys]]. He <s>is</s> was the #1 most subscribed on [[BlogTV]], which he accomplished by [[Nerd Rage|raging]] to his fans that it's his life goal to be the most subscribed on the entire fucking website. Though, if you think about it, [[True|it's not that hard]] to be the #1 most subscribed on a [[BlogTV|shitty web site]] that no one uses. It is extremely likely that [[Google|he will at some point stumble upon this article]] and turn it into another excuse for him to [[fap]] to his own name. . When this time comes he should [[gtfo]] like the tool he is. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
Line 11: | Line 11: | ||
==The Retard Behind the Online Retard== | ==The Retard Behind the Online Retard== | ||
===DJ and his Ego=== | ===DJ and his Ego=== | ||
From becoming a minuscule internet celebrity, DJ has become filled with [[unwarranted self importance]] to compensate for his small [[cock]]. He rants over [[internets|teh internetz]] about [[shit nobody cares about|what he is and isn't "about"]] | From becoming a minuscule internet celebrity, DJ has become filled with [[unwarranted self importance]] to compensate for his small [[cock]]. He rants over [[internets|teh internetz]] about [[shit nobody cares about|what he is and isn't "about"]] and why people should give him money for making YouTube videos. [[Some argue]] that he just has his head up his ass but they are usually just [[butthurt]] because he won't let them suck his tiny [[penis]]. The most common explanation is that he fancies himself the king of the [[internets]] due to the surplus of [[12-year-old boys]] at his sexual disposal. [[some argue|Experts believe]] he is aware of what a loser he is but to him [[awwright|it's AWWRIGHT!]] | ||
<center>{{fv|DJ|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>_oIQg8D4zko</youtube>|<youtube>MIwvAc6x22o</youtube>|<youtube>YX09r8f9Jj8</youtube>|<youtube>BUXVbBVpGNg</youtube>|<youtube>ELIcrMZevBQ</youtube>|<youtube>6114M9jaLkI</youtube>}}</center> | <center>{{fv|DJ|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|<youtube>_oIQg8D4zko</youtube>|<youtube>MIwvAc6x22o</youtube>|<youtube>YX09r8f9Jj8</youtube>|<youtube>BUXVbBVpGNg</youtube>|<youtube>ELIcrMZevBQ</youtube>|<youtube>6114M9jaLkI</youtube>}}</center> | ||
Line 19: | Line 19: | ||
===BlogTV Show=== | ===BlogTV Show=== | ||
Every day DJ broadcasts a live show at [http://www.blogtv.com/People/dj-keemstar this URL] which amazingly racks up [[kids on the internet|hundreds to thousands of viewers on any given night.]] During said shows he begins by playing [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grs3P0mWhAk music of his own shitty making]. After playing his black person music until your ears bleed, DJ will either do one of two things for the rest of the stream | Every day, DJ broadcasts a live show at [http://www.blogtv.com/People/dj-keemstar this URL] which amazingly racks up [[kids on the internet|hundreds to thousands of viewers on any given night.]] During said shows, he begins by playing [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grs3P0mWhAk music of his own shitty making]. After playing his black person music until your ears bleed, DJ will either do one of two things for the rest of the stream: rage about [[shit nobody cares about]] for 5 hours or attempt to impress [[12-year-old boys|his fans]] by [[Loser|trash talking kids half his age]] on a [[Halo 3|game that no one has played]] since [[at least 100 years ago]]. These shows are never to the [[Script kiddies|fans]] expectation as they are [[FACT|boring as fuck.]] The entire viewing of the show is listening to the enormous [[faggot]] [[Self esteem|ramble about how he's famous]], blocking communications with every [[fanboy]] who sends him a message over [[Xbox Live]] saying how much they love [[SHIT|his videos]], and, most importantly, DJ will beg [[no one|everyone watching the stream]] to donate to his [[paypal]]. He needs money because [[FACT|he does NOT have a real job]]. His job is slowly transforming YouTube in to one of his big steaming [[shit]] piles. Then, after doing all his [[faggotry]], DJ advertises to [[Retards|his fans]] that they can buy a friend slot or moderator position on the [[BlogTV]] chat for [[sarcasm|a mere]] $20.00. Should [[you]] pay $20 to be on DJs friend list, you should know that like the [[faggot]] he is, he will remove you if you do anything annoy him. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlCxriW2dD0 No joke.] Some [[bullshit|reasonable]] ways to get on his nerves include: | ||
*Wanting to play with him. | *Wanting to play with him. | ||
*Messaging him [[over 9000]] times because you paid $20 and he won't play with you. | *Messaging him [[over 9000]] times because you paid $20 and he won't play with you. | ||
*Betraying him ([[Irony|which the F@G built their reputation on]]) | *Betraying him ([[Irony|which the F@G built their reputation on]]) | ||
*Verbally pwning him in a trash-talking [[gangbang|session]]. Despite this thirty year old unhappily <s>married</s> dating [[douchebag]] promoting [[rape|verbal abuse]], he [[rage|rages]] hard at any treatment of similar [[Black people|color]] | *Verbally pwning him in a trash-talking [[gangbang|session]]. Despite this thirty-year-old, unhappily <s>married</s> dating [[douchebag]] promoting [[rape|verbal abuse]], he [[rage|rages]] hard at any treatment of similar [[Black people|color]]. He cannot handle anything that might [[pwn]] his image. | ||
If you paid $20.00 to be a mod of the Blog TV chat you can expect [[Suicide|similar treatment]]. | If you paid $20.00 to be a mod of the Blog TV chat you can expect [[Suicide|similar treatment]]. You can also lose your $20 title [[DO IT FAGGOT|for posting his girlfriends number or links in public chat. Specifically, links to this article.]] It should also be said that because DJ lets any [[loser]] with $20 to their name moderate chat, rather than, say, choosing someone remotely competent for the job, they all abuse their power and boot anyone who isn't worshipping the [[faggot]]; especially for stating disapproval of any copyrighted material that he broadcasts. Like [[Fact|Origami World]] that one time. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
{{Quote|LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE F@G, send me all your money. I need to pay the rent next week and I'm broke | {{Quote|LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE F@G, send me all your money. I need to pay the rent next week and I'm broke. This is my job. This is how I get paid.|DJ KEEMSTAR every night on his stream begging his fans to pay him or else he cant pay his bills and his girlfriend will leave him.}} | ||
<b><center>[[owned|This loyal F@G fan paid $20 and got his moderator privileges taken away]],[[Sarcasm|I hope Keemstar see's this.]]</center></b> | <b><center>[[owned|This loyal F@G fan paid $20 and got his moderator privileges taken away]],[[Sarcasm|I hope Keemstar see's this.]]</center></b> | ||
Line 37: | Line 37: | ||
The following is a simple and accurate guide so that anyone can sound like [[lie|Halo 3's #1 trashtalker]]. | The following is a simple and accurate guide so that anyone can sound like [[lie|Halo 3's #1 trashtalker]]. | ||
*First you should lurk matchmaking until you find a young child, [[you|someone with a speech impediment]], or a [[boxxy|sexually unexposed teenage girl]]. Don't worry about being reported | *First you should lurk matchmaking until you find a young child, [[you|someone with a speech impediment]], or a [[boxxy|sexually unexposed teenage girl]]. Don't worry about being reported. [[unwarranted self importance|You're famous]] so Microsoft can't ban [[you]]! | ||
*Next you will want to insult your targets entire team based on their color as chosen automatically and randomly by the Halo Matchmaking System. If they are the red team call them names such as Elmo [[fluffer|Fluffers]], Tomato Fuckers, or [[Furries]]. Similarly, the Blue Team can be called Smurfs, Blue Dildoes, or other [[unfunny]] shit. As long as it is overflowing with profanity and high volume it is sure to be a success. | *Next, you will want to insult your targets entire team based on their color as chosen automatically and randomly by the Halo Matchmaking System. If they are the red team, call them names such as Elmo [[fluffer|Fluffers]], Tomato Fuckers, or [[Furries]]. Similarly, the Blue Team can be called Smurfs, Blue Dildoes, or other [[unfunny]] shit. As long as it is overflowing with profanity and high volume it is sure to be a success. | ||
*Make sure your target has their microphone plugged in | *Make sure your target has their microphone plugged in because now it has become time to make fun of their gamertag. That's right, [[sarcasm|every gamers highest pride and joy is their gamertag so the most epic lulz can be achieved by making fun of it.]] | ||
*Your target [[WTF|will realize how | *Your target [[WTF|will realize how hard they have been trolled]] and will try to retort. By now, the game will undoubtedly have started and you should begin betraying them mercilessly. | ||
*From this point, you will want to speak loudly and incoherently so that nobody can understand what the fuck your victim is saying. This accomplishes a definite win in the dispute and leads to the final conclusion. | *From this point, you will want to speak loudly and incoherently so that nobody can understand what the fuck your victim is saying. This accomplishes a definite win in the dispute and leads to the final conclusion. | ||
*Pretend to start betraying them and instead, let them betray you. Ask them a [[retard|clever]] question to get them to say the word boot before you boot them from the game. | *Pretend to start betraying them and, instead, let them betray you. Ask them a [[retard|clever]] question to get them to say the word boot before you boot them from the game. | ||
[[lie|'''Congratulations, you are now one of Halo's best shit talkers.''']] | [[lie|'''Congratulations, you are now one of Halo's best shit talkers.''']] | ||
===Keemstar Nation=== | ===Keemstar Nation=== | ||
[[Nerd|Keemstar Nation]] is the unclever name DJ gave to his fans. [[Children|The demographic who find him relateable]] grew up with out a [[Goofy time|father figure]] to [[pwn]] any trash talker they encountered over XBOX Live. They found a troll with many YouTube views and decided to follow him until their balls dropped and they [[Fap|found something better to do]]. [[Fact|Every KKK Nation member can't handle bad things being said by their | [[Nerd|Keemstar Nation]] is the unclever name DJ gave to his fans. [[Children|The demographic who find him relateable]] grew up with out a [[Goofy time|father figure]] to [[pwn]] any trash talker they encountered over XBOX Live. They found a troll with many YouTube views and decided to follow him until their balls dropped and they [[Fap|found something better to do]]. [[Fact|Every KKK Nation member can't handle bad things being said by their deity]] due to his demagogic nature. The common reaction to anything short of [[Hivemind|Keemstar worship]] is attempting to [[VIP|vandalize ED: a stupid and pointless thing to try]]. Half of the time, DJ says he does everything for his fans and the other half, he claims he does it for the money. This raises much confusion as he has never done much of anything apart from ranting and posting gameplay videos on YouTube. Should you tune into his Blog TV channel, you will undoubtedly hear him rambling about how he brightens every [[emo]] [[faggots]] day, being the [[retard|clever]] [[troll]] that he is. | ||
[[You]] can troll Keemstar Nation at [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=101744406553067 this URL]. | [[You]] can troll Keemstar Nation at [http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=101744406553067 this URL]. | ||
Line 55: | Line 55: | ||
*<s>Tell him you're going to hack his gamertag.</s> | *<s>Tell him you're going to hack his gamertag.</s> | ||
*<s>DDoS him after getting his IP from matchmaking.</s> | *<s>DDoS him after getting his IP from matchmaking.</s> | ||
*<s>Call him and tell him you will report his ass to the police for being a pedophile | *<s>Call him and tell him you will report his ass to the police for being a pedophile, douche bag, homo.</s> | ||
*<s>Let him know that 'asshole' is not an adjective</s> | *<s>Let him know that 'asshole' is not an adjective</s> | ||
*<s>Say his 2 year old daughter is a slut</s> | *<s>Say his 2 year old daughter is a slut</s> | ||
Line 71: | Line 71: | ||
===Rise to Flame=== | ===Rise to Flame=== | ||
[[Image:[email protected]|thumb|right|Heres the shitty clan logo, it was made in MS Paint]] | [[Image:[email protected]|thumb|right|Heres the shitty clan logo, it was made in MS Paint]] | ||
One of the other [[faggot|G@Y]] members, [[Redneck|Deranker]], found DJ in a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1PzujQYfjc matchmaking game] where he was yelling at the other players like any other [[butthurt]] [[Halo 3]] player. From there they slowly gained an internet following by convincing [[retard|12 year olds]] | One of the other [[faggot|G@Y]] members, [[Redneck|Deranker]], found DJ in a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1PzujQYfjc matchmaking game] where he was yelling at the other players like any other [[butthurt]] [[Halo 3]] player. From there, they slowly gained an internet following by convincing [[retard|12-year-olds]] their XBOXs were [[not funny|getting hacked and pretending to masturbate to girls over Halo 3 matchmaking.]] DJ has been doing this whole F@G thing, [[idiot|unaware that asshole isn't an adjective]], for almost 2 years now. How did he get so popular? Well, if you haven't noticed, not like the other F@G leaders, [[no life|F@G is Djs life.]] He needs to prostitute himself to make a living so he can please his 12-year-old fanbase; thus boosting the losers self-esteem since he has [[Fact|no friends IRL]]. He whores himself out via the use of an [[J/k|anonymous]] 20-something-year-old hispanic male who pretends to be a robot under the gamertag THE BAD ROBOT. Despite its apparent success in fooling children, it is painfully obvious to be a text-to-speech program found on most [[Shit|Windows OS]] called Microsoft Michelle. Everyone knows that [[Kimmo Alm|DJ Keemstar]] would be a nobody if not for his audience considering what he does, ANYONE can do. | ||
[[Image: xbox kid.jpg|thumb|right|[[IRL]] F@G member]] | [[Image: xbox kid.jpg|thumb|right|[[IRL]] F@G member]] | ||
Line 81: | Line 81: | ||
===Artistically Trolled=== | ===Artistically Trolled=== | ||
DJ is extremely proud of his [[Shit|fabulous]] [[YouTube]] channel. It has viewers in the [[fact|thousands]]. But most of all he's proud of | DJ is extremely proud of his [[Shit|fabulous]] [[YouTube]] channel. It has viewers in the [[fact|thousands]]. But most of all he's proud of the [[BlogTV]] banner he paid a professional for. [[fact|I'm not shitting you]]. This egomaniac [[Guido]] paid some [[Britfag]] designer who has skills in [[nothing|flash]] that could be comprised within an afternoon of wanking and basic tutorials. You can view the immense amount of suck [http://blogbanners.weebly.com/dj-keemstar.html here]. Of course, it's understandable as to why DJ would pay someone to create shit for him and get ripped off like the idiot he is. He's too busy streaming his live show. | ||
===pwnd? PWND!=== | ===pwnd? PWND!=== | ||
Before DJ was dick riding everyone in | Before DJ was dick riding everyone in Machinima and only had around 15,000 subscribers, he had to figure out a way to get more famous on the [[internet]]. DJ had spammed [[shit nobody cares about|trash talking fights]] to establish himself as a champion so when he scored an audience with [[Loser|some MLG trashtalker named Walshy]], he thought he had convinced the world that he was, in fact, [[Srs bsns]]. This video amassed many views as all the [[faggots]] who worship DJ thought he [[pwnd]] MLG. Not long after the videos release, his cameraman uploaded an unedited version of the video showing that it was just someone with a [[Script Kiddies|modded]] gamertag being talked through the video and agreeing to be publicly [[pwnd]]. This caused much [[butthurt]] to all of the F@G and [[lulz]] among the [[fanboys]]. It appeared, and so it was, that they had been [[PWND]]. | ||
<b><center>The Real DJ</center></b> | <b><center>The Real DJ</center></b> | ||
Line 95: | Line 95: | ||
[[Last Thursday]] [[Indigo Children|Bungie Studios]] had a nasty virus in their system. The F@G wasted no time in taking advantage of said glitch and stealing Halo: Reach Beta codes several days before it's [[lie|public]] release. [[faggot|DJ]] promptly put in his beta code, despite his account being <s>shutdown</s> <s>locked</s> BANHAMMERED at the time, to play Halo: Reach with all of the people who were privileged enough to receive a Beta code '''legitimately'''. DJ immediately began betraying people left and right [[sarcasm|like the team player he is]] until he pissed off someone [[fact|who was a bigger name than he, f1stdacuffs]] (another no name Machinima director [[amiright]]?). | [[Last Thursday]] [[Indigo Children|Bungie Studios]] had a nasty virus in their system. The F@G wasted no time in taking advantage of said glitch and stealing Halo: Reach Beta codes several days before it's [[lie|public]] release. [[faggot|DJ]] promptly put in his beta code, despite his account being <s>shutdown</s> <s>locked</s> BANHAMMERED at the time, to play Halo: Reach with all of the people who were privileged enough to receive a Beta code '''legitimately'''. DJ immediately began betraying people left and right [[sarcasm|like the team player he is]] until he pissed off someone [[fact|who was a bigger name than he, f1stdacuffs]] (another no name Machinima director [[amiright]]?). | ||
DJ became [[butthurt]] because Machinima would not let him upload the video of [[Wigger|f1stdacuffs]] betrayal | DJ became [[butthurt]] because Machinima would not let him upload the video of [[Wigger|f1stdacuffs]] betrayal and so began their petty YouTube [[rage]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMOk-wxagLs battle] (like the [[Kids on the internet|immature assholes]] they both are). DJ made an unfunny parody character of [[Wigger|f1stdacuffs]]: whom he gave the [[unfunny]] name [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQB4Y1GapXA f1stdabutts]. | ||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
Line 131: | Line 131: | ||
'''The Most Regal''' | '''The Most Regal''' | ||
DJ's next unlucky web encounter was with The Most Regal who been tortured by DJ the longest (masochist) in his [[Harry Potter#Harry Potter and Chamber of Secrets|basement of secrets]] | DJ's next unlucky web encounter was with The Most Regal who been tortured by DJ the longest (masochist) in his [[Harry Potter#Harry Potter and Chamber of Secrets|basement of secrets]]. Three months to be exact. Regal bought keemstarnation.com, djkeemstar.com, and haloderanker.com and took over on federationofassholegamers.com. Regal is the one who turned DJ into what he is today; [[Sarcasm|a respectable and generous human being]]. When Regal showed DJ [[obvious|how to get google ads on websites]], ([[doing it wrong|DJ spelled it 'websight']]). DJ went batshit crazy on making sure his [[personal army]] spam clicked everything. DJ quit his job due to the income this generated: about $250 per day. He gave a quarter to Regal and kept a quarter but said he reinvested the other half when [[fact|he actually blew it on cigarettes and sex toys for his <s>wife</s> <s>girlfriend</s>]] [[cumdumpster]]. | ||
Eventually Regal and DJ got in fights due to Regal being just as much of a money grubbing Jew | Eventually Regal and DJ got in fights due to Regal being just as much of a money grubbing Jew. He would make the [[faggot|f@ggot]] look like a [[newfag|newf@g]] on his own live stream. It wasn't long before Regal got bored of being DJ's [[BDSM]] whore and wanted to do something for the [[lulz]]. He was given a [[moderator]] position on DJ's [[lie|popular]] BlogTV stream. Regal's [[troll face]] immediately came out and he banned hundreds of people including DJ's IP address. He changed the background to [[Miley Cyrus]] pics, forcing DJ to [[ragequit]] [[OVER 9000]] times. Consequences were never the same because Regal decided to delete the site with 1,250 members on it. [[MOAR|The lulz didn't end there]]! He took the databases which had everyones IP addresses and passwords. He started [[hacking]] whomever crossed his path, officially pwning the entirety of the f@ggots. | ||
{{Quote|GET YOUR FIVE CLICKS IN NOW OR I STOP THE SHOW|DJ KeemStarOfDavid in his Jew quest to steal Google's money}} | {{Quote|GET YOUR FIVE CLICKS IN NOW OR I STOP THE SHOW|DJ KeemStarOfDavid in his Jew quest to steal Google's money}} | ||
Line 140: | Line 140: | ||
===DJ Vs. XBL-Enforcement Team=== | ===DJ Vs. XBL-Enforcement Team=== | ||
[[Image:Steptomsn.jpg|thumb|right|[[Disappoint|DJ I AM DISAPPOINT]]]] | [[Image:Steptomsn.jpg|thumb|right|[[Disappoint|DJ I AM DISAPPOINT]]]] | ||
[[Last Thursday]], DJ woke up one morning to turn on the good old [[Xbox|Xbox]]. At that given moment his gamer-tags started to get [[banned|locked]] | [[Last Thursday]], DJ woke up one morning to turn on the good old [[Xbox|Xbox]]. At that given moment, his gamer-tags started to get [[banned|locked]]. They were under investigation by Microsoft. DJ was in RAAAAAAEG mode over this; especially when he found out trolls were calling in [[XBox Live|Xbox-live]] | ||
and reporting | and reporting ownership of his gamertags and calling him a hacker. The F@G community went under a brief moment of panic and became very [[Butthurt|butthurt]]. As DJ was yelling in his mic on the live stream, the chatters started spamming up a shitstorm as usual. | ||
The solution? | The solution? | ||
*Make a [[youtube|YouTube]] video. | *Make a [[youtube|YouTube]] video. | ||
Line 149: | Line 149: | ||
*Tell them to call up Microsoft and do the same thing to other people's gamertags as well. | *Tell them to call up Microsoft and do the same thing to other people's gamertags as well. | ||
After the so called storm on Xbox-live had finished, and the world had changed according to Keemstar, | After the so called storm on Xbox-live had finished, and the world had changed according to Keemstar, | ||
Xbox-live changed their policy so people wouldn't be so easily social engineered | Xbox-live changed their policy so people wouldn't be so easily social engineered. The fan boys popped boners and were all treated to a speech saying that if it weren't for the fans none of this would have happened. "20 dollars | ||
paypal to [email protected]". Well, during the phone calls the F@G fans made to [[Tech Support|Xbox live support]], one of the [[Moderator|mods]] of the | paypal to [email protected]". Well, during the phone calls the F@G fans made to [[Tech Support|Xbox live support]], one of the [[Moderator|mods]] of the | ||
live show reported that his gamertag was hacked | live show reported that his gamertag was hacked. He went by the name of [[winrar|WingsofRedemption]]: which happens | ||
to be a popular name | to be a popular name in the gaming community and a victim of [[shit nobody cares about|Keemstars rise to fame]]. WingsOfRedemption didn't want to take any more of DJ's faggotry and wanted to end him once and for all. Wings proceeded to tell other big Machinima directors (and Machinima itself) the truth behind DJ: how much of a jew he really is. Keemstar got wind of the situation and made a butthurt YouTube video. Now, with DJ calling him out, Wings became very nervous. The f@ggots had a reputation for [[raid|raiding]] and shutting down YouTube channels. To cover his ass, Wings called up the gods of Xbox-live and showed everything that was wrong with DJ KreamlovingFaggot. | ||
tell other big Machinima directors and Machinima itself the truth behind DJ: how much of a jew he really is. Keemstar got wind of the situation and made a butthurt YouTube video. Now with DJ calling him out, Wings became very nervous.The f@ggots had a reputation for [[raid|raiding]] and shutting down YouTube channels. To cover his | |||
Nothing happened for several days. Eventually, Xbox-live Enforcement Team caught wind of the situation and began to view Haloahole videos on YouTube. The Xbox-Live Gods were [[I am disappoint|very disappointed to see the faggotry that was taking place]] on their motha' fuckin' networks. The almighty Microsoft raised it's ban hammer for the [[over 9000|9000th]] time and, thus, Deranker, 2 Bucks, DJ, and DJ's fake robot account would all have to be transferred to a brand new console. Of course, DJ accomplished this by begging for money on the live stream. What DJ didn't know is that [[lulz|the enforcement team was monitoring the show and banning whatever account he violated the rules of Xbox-live with]]. The Xbox-live enforcement team director, Stepto, was the main individual banning/suspending DJ's gamertags. In no time at all Stepto became a God among all the people who [[haters|hate]] and despise Keemstar. Keemstar began raging even more. He threatened Stepto with legal action claiming his retarded [[retard|inbred brother]] is a [[E-lawyer|lawyer]] who would pick up the case. DJ's big plan was to sue Microsoft; thinking he could collect his Jew gold on the damages of so-called "harassment". The stupid [[guido]] fuck [[retard|forgot to read the Xbox-Live Code of Conduct and Terms of Use every single time he agreed to them]]. [[ironic|Hey now, DJ did know what he was talking about since his last job was to use scare tactics into getting people to pay off debts]] they owed to the [[Government|government.]] | |||
To add even more [[lulz]] icing on the [[bawwwww]] cake, DJ was under the assumption that Stepto was | Being the [[lolcow]] he is, DJ called his [[X is not your personal army|personal army]] onto the live stream; telling them to spam Steptos [[twatter|Twitter]] and mention [[Bill Gates|Bill Gates]]. Apparently, he thought someone would give a rat's ass. Around four-hundred [[13-year-old boy|fans]] from the live stream began to spam and then promptly became bored and quit. It didn't stop there! DJ called up his good YouTube pal, Ishatonu, who actually had a semi-intelligent fan base. He tried to explain the situation "in his own way." It soon turned into incoherent rambling about how Microsoft was harassing him and banning his accounts because he's gay. The [[Homosexuality|gay]] jokes wouldn't stop coming from DJ, which brought about many [[lulz]] because Stepto is a flaming homosexual [[IRL]]. DJ begged Shat to tell his fans to get in the live show and help alleviate the situation. Shat didn't want to touch the retard's problems with a 10-foot pole so he made DJ a thread on [[B|/b/]] and bowed out. Unfortunately for DJ, the thread looked like a personal army request. Once DJ saw the thread he began to get wet thinking [[Anonymous|anonymous]] would fix everything for him... but as the thread unraveled it read only "not your personal army". Trolls began to drop DJ's dox taking full advantage of a back raid. DJ, being the [[Epic Fail Guy|fail guy]] that he is, watched the thread and stated that only three people were repeating the same stuff over and over. He thought he was invincible from anon because he brought up a good word about them on the live stream and even made a freestyle days before: saying "anony anony anony" over and over again. The thread aged and saged, and as it sunk into the darkest pits of /b/, it took DJ's hopes and dreams with it. Helpless and at a loss for words, DJ tried to lol and get back to being the biggest retard on BlogTV. | ||
To add even more [[lulz]] icing on the [[bawwwww]] cake, DJ was under the assumption that Stepto was, purposefully without reason, harassing him [[Truth|when, in truth, by creating each account with the purpose to troll and cause drama over Xbox-Live, he was violating Xbox-Live's code of conduct. Due to his and F@G's publicly-streamed repeated offenses, he was setting himself up for the ban hammer.]] The [[NO|shit coaster wasn't over yet]]. He announced he would [[LULZ|sue]] Stepto for taking away his [[First Amendment|"right to free speech"]]. Unbeknownst to DJ, Stepto was acting on behalf of[[Microsoft]] and couldn't be sued solely. He would have been suing [[Microsoft]] [[FACT|which has as much chance of winning as DJ has of getting laid.]] | |||
Now that DJ and F@G had caught [[The Man|Xbox-Live Enforcement's]] attention, F@G would no doubt [[WIN|end in]] a [[lulzy]] demise. | Now that DJ and F@G had caught [[The Man|Xbox-Live Enforcement's]] attention, F@G would no doubt [[WIN|end in]] a [[lulzy]] demise. | ||
Line 169: | Line 168: | ||
===Lulzy Demise=== | ===Lulzy Demise=== | ||
Thanks to the efforts of those with a sense of [[lulz]] | Thanks to the efforts of those with a sense of [[lulz]] and a little help from [[B|/b/]], DJ had been harassed. His [[IRL]] Dox had been found out and advertised for all of [[4chan]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] to see. Because of their efforts, the Xbox LIVE [[moderators]] had stumbled across his [[fail]] and gotten on his case. It was only a matter of time before the shit hit the fan. | ||
<s>On August 24, 2010</s> [[Last Thursday]], DJ KEEMSTAR gave up on fighting | <s>On August 24, 2010</s> [[Last Thursday]], DJ KEEMSTAR gave up on fighting Live and announced the end of F@G. He played one last game on the Blogtv stream, which ended with another [[banhammer]]. He gave a last goodbye and then removed moderator privileges from everyone. All of the fanboys became [[butthurt]] because they couldn't power trip with the $20 they gave him. A fanboy by the name of gangstaJ007 decided to retract around 2000 dollars from DJ's Paypal; making the account go [[Depression|negative]] and frozen. With a negative Paypal account, and his moniez all gone, DJ was forced to return to work as a [[sarcasm|librarian]] or else make his [[Porn|1 year old daughter]] homeless. | ||
<center><youtube>4urASn5XIP8</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>4urASn5XIP8</youtube></center> | ||
It seems DJ's sexual robot slave is going to the [[PS3]] | It seems DJ's sexual robot slave is going to the [[PS3]] ([[Truth|not like he'll find that many people with a mic to troll anyway]]). DJ later announced that he will be not quitting. He and the rest of F@G, such as Denigger, Fagbot, and 2 Cocks, will continue making videos. Instead of wreaking havoc, they decided they woould take clips of halo players becoming LOL RAGE and send them to xbox; basically becoming what they so much despised. DJ has acquired a new [[BDSM|ass slave]] by the name of bluepoint951: who agreed to handle his [[paypal]] (a classic move by DJ: [[Moderator|putting all his trust in a completely incompetent stranger]]). Eventually, bluepoint had enough and ragequitted as well. You see, bluepoint is a legitimate homosexual who has a 7-inch uncircumcised penis. Therefore, he needs a man who is bigger; however, he ended up being the receiver of rage and DJ's 1.3 inch penis. A game of "just the tip in" for bluepoint would be full insertion for DJ. So after DJ [[lie|had gotten back on his feet]], bluepoint fucked off. | ||
===You're Fired & I'm Lawing the Law Down!=== | ===You're Fired & I'm Lawing the Law Down!=== | ||
On October 30, 2010, DJ accused bluepoint951 of stealing his money and fucking with the [[paypal]] when it was nearly time to pay his bills. His [[whore|girlfriend]] had recently [[lulz|quit his dick]] for not being able to make enough money | On October 30, 2010, DJ accused bluepoint951 of stealing his money and fucking with the [[paypal]] when it was nearly time to pay his bills. His [[whore|girlfriend]] had recently [[lulz|quit his dick]] for not being able to make enough money; thereby forcing her out of the kitchen and into the real world. In an attempt to "create" entertainment out of being [[Buttsecks|fuck'd in the asshole]] by a vagina and his online accountant, DJ convinced the [[hivemind]] that they were the victim of thought control from bluepoint951, [[ironically]]. Apparently bluepoint951 had been planning a mutiny with several other Moderators to overthrow DJ from his fictional seat of power. [[Extreme Advertising|BUT WAIT!]] He was also having a gay [[Pedophilia|online relationship]] with an underage blogTV user by the name of crossfaaade. DJ's claim to prove this supposed relationship was a [[fan sign]] of them together. | ||
Over the next several days | Over the next several days, DJ accused bluepoint951's squadron of being a stream full of [[trolls]]; guilty of betrayal and were trying to ruin his show. He proceeded to "fire" several mods and "law the law down" on the rest of his stream. DJ attempted to send several of his [[cocksucker| best moderators and fans]] as spies to watch for an "attack" from bluepoint951's blogTV stream; however, nothing of the sort succeeded and the attempt to "troll the trolls" failed. As everyone on bluepoint951's stream discovered as the days past, "DJ is right 100% of the time always" and "will one day be on G4 TV." A true monument of his own glory. You can see these conversations [http://dj-keemstar.tk at this URL]. | ||
=== | ===Guys, Show Some Respect. [[Brother|Chuck]] is Dead.=== | ||
On November 4, 2010 at 6:30PM EST DJ announced that he was going to be sponsored by [[porn|FilmOn.com]] | On November 4, 2010 at 6:30PM EST, DJ announced that he was going to be sponsored by [[porn|FilmOn.com]]. He would never need any more [[welfare|donations]] from his [[12-year-old_boys|viewers]]! To celebrate his increased sell-out status, was going to give [[shit|valuable]] items away for free: a whole collection of his old [[b&|banned]] [[Xbox 360]] Slims. | ||
{{Quote|So what if it's banned?! You're getting a LEGENDARY XBOX!!|DJ KEEMSTAR [[Fap|masturbating]] to a picture of himself}} | {{Quote|So what if it's banned?! You're getting a LEGENDARY XBOX!!|DJ KEEMSTAR [[Fap|masturbating]] to a picture of himself}} | ||
The site began to get [[DDoS|mass amounts of views]] from fans spamming the [[Special]] link. DJ, being his usual self, started gloating about how his [[fiction|fame]] crashed the website. This faggotry went on for about an hour until the creator of FilmOn.com, [[Oldfag|Alki David]], called DJ and told him that [[User:Vv3AsOne|Vv3AsOne]] and friends had been [[DDoS|DDoSing]] the fuck out of him via an [[exploit]] that skull-fucks [[bandwidth]]. [[Oldfag|Alki]] was quick to assure DJ that the [[Cyber police|police]] had been contacted and [[Lie|the perpetrators had been arrested]]. Not long after, DJ was playing [[Xbox Live]] as usual until he received a phone call. He returned to the show to announce that [[Bullshit|he had just learned of a death in the family]]. [[Lawyer|Chuck Keem]], his [[Fake|brother]], had just entered [[necrophilia]] territory. After announcing the death, some other f@ggot became co-host of the show as DJ went [[AFK|away from keyboard]] to [[baw]]. After announcing his brothers [[Bullshit|"death"]], he told his slave bit [[Moderators|moderators]] to link to a bot site | The site began to get [[DDoS|mass amounts of views]] from fans spamming the [[Special]] link. DJ, being his usual self, started gloating about how his [[fiction|fame]] crashed the website. This faggotry went on for about an hour until the creator of FilmOn.com, [[Oldfag|Alki David]], called DJ and told him that [[User:Vv3AsOne|Vv3AsOne]] and friends had been [[DDoS|DDoSing]] the fuck out of him via an [[exploit]] that skull-fucks [[bandwidth]]. [[Oldfag|Alki]] was quick to assure DJ that the [[Cyber police|police]] had been contacted and [[Lie|the perpetrators had been arrested]]. Not long after, DJ was playing [[Xbox Live]] as usual until he received a phone call. He returned to the show to announce that [[Bullshit|he had just learned of a death in the family]]. [[Lawyer|Chuck Keem]], his [[Fake|brother]], had just entered [[necrophilia]] territory. After announcing the death, some other f@ggot became co-host of the show as DJ went [[AFK|away from keyboard]] to [[baw]]. After announcing his brothers [[Bullshit|"death"]], he told his slave-bit [[Moderators|moderators]] to link to a bot site so he could sell e-mails overseas; allowing access to all his [[slaves|fans]] credit information. His blogtv show was hacked and shutdown by a troll streaming [[gay]] [[pron]] on 11/16/2010. | ||
[[DJ KEEMSTAR#Dox|We recommend calling him to <s>give your condolences</s> laugh at him.]] | [[DJ KEEMSTAR#Dox|We recommend calling him to <s>give your condolences</s> laugh at him.]] | ||
Line 227: | Line 226: | ||
*<s>along with all his past channels which were flagged. Except for [http://www.youtube.com/user/HappyGriefday this one.]</s> Now [[B&]] aswell | *<s>along with all his past channels which were flagged. Except for [http://www.youtube.com/user/HappyGriefday this one.]</s> Now [[B&]] aswell | ||
*<s>Also this is the new [http://www.youtube.com/user/FAGreborn F@G Channel]</s> lolnope, that's gone too | *<s>Also this is the new [http://www.youtube.com/user/FAGreborn F@G Channel]</s> lolnope, that's gone too | ||
Now being the over dramatic tard that DJ is, he | Now, being the over-dramatic tard that DJ is, he had to make a self-promotion video about his channel's shutdown. | ||
<center><youtube>HfcS1FE07d4</youtube></center> | <center><youtube>HfcS1FE07d4</youtube></center> | ||
<s>Now he does have a [http://www.youtube.com/SparklesGayRapper new channel] but it is morbidly unfunny.</s> This is the <s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/HappyGriefday new channel]</s> (B&) he posts on. Also, F@G is supposedly going to be "reborn" on this [http://www.youtube.com/user/FAGreborn channel.] The only people who follow him now are 12 year olds with nothing else to do in their day. [[Lulz|Oh wait, they already were.]] He also has a lonely ass [http://www.youtube.com/user/blogKEEMSTAR blog channel] where he satisfies his continuous urge to have buttsex with his [[Newfags|trolls]] and [[You|anyone else on his channel]], being the natural [[attention whore]] that he is. Did I mention that he loves [[Ron Paul]]? | <s>Now, he does have a [http://www.youtube.com/SparklesGayRapper new channel] but it is morbidly unfunny.</s> This is the <s>[http://www.youtube.com/user/HappyGriefday new channel]</s> (B&) he posts on. Also, F@G is supposedly going to be "reborn" on this [http://www.youtube.com/user/FAGreborn channel.] The only people who follow him now are 12 year olds with nothing else to do in their day. [[Lulz|Oh wait, they already were.]] He also has a lonely ass [http://www.youtube.com/user/blogKEEMSTAR blog channel] where he satisfies his continuous urge to have buttsex with his [[Newfags|trolls]] and [[You|anyone else on his channel]], being the natural [[attention whore]] that he is. Did I mention that he loves [[Ron Paul]]? | ||
==LiveaRoo Hacked== | ==LiveaRoo Hacked== | ||
Line 238: | Line 237: | ||
==Team Noble, And his return to the Machinima family== | ==Team Noble, And his return to the Machinima family== | ||
<s> Recently Kumstain was "given" The Youtube channel "TeamNoble" which is a partnered channel previously | <s> Recently, Kumstain was "given" The Youtube channel "TeamNoble" which is a partnered channel (previously run by Machinima Respawn). [[tl;dr|Because Neither bothered to examine the Youtube Community Guidelines]], they "didn't know" selling or giving away partnered channels is a [[B&|bannable offense]]. tl;dr its more of the same faggotry from Keemstar | ||
[http://www.youtube.com/user/TeamNoble You can report his new channel/videos here] </s> '''SHUT DOWN BY LIAT (SEE BELOW)''' | [http://www.youtube.com/user/TeamNoble You can report his new channel/videos here] </s> '''SHUT DOWN BY LIAT (SEE BELOW)''' | ||
Line 245: | Line 244: | ||
[[Last Thursday]], DJ ultimately decided it would be a [[Batshit Insane|great]] [[retarded|idea]] to [[hypocrisy|call out]] fellow attention whore, [[MeganSpeaks]] (LIATs well known Spawn/[[Truth|Girlfriend]]). Since another man talked with his [[cumdumpster|wimminz]], rallied his YouTube robot army and '''[[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|B& ALL OF HIS ACCOUNTS INTO OBLIVION]] [[EPIC WIN|JUST AS HIS NEW COHOST MOVED IN]]''' | [[Last Thursday]], DJ ultimately decided it would be a [[Batshit Insane|great]] [[retarded|idea]] to [[hypocrisy|call out]] fellow attention whore, [[MeganSpeaks]] (LIATs well known Spawn/[[Truth|Girlfriend]]). Since another man talked with his [[cumdumpster|wimminz]], rallied his YouTube robot army and '''[[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|B& ALL OF HIS ACCOUNTS INTO OBLIVION]] [[EPIC WIN|JUST AS HIS NEW COHOST MOVED IN]]''' | ||
LIAT, for the first and only time in his life, was the hero | LIAT, for the first and only time in his life, was the hero. He had left DJ without youtubes yet again. | ||
DJ, soon after getting his just deserts, called his [[personal army]] to shut down LIATs twitter | DJ, soon after getting his just deserts, called his [[personal army]] to shut down LIATs twitter. Just like most recent 4chan raids, it was [[Shit|disorganized]]. [[fail|They tried doxing him using typical doxing methods did not do proper fact checking]]. Feeling sad and depressed at the lack of means to whore himself, it became a daily routine for DJ to show up on Google Hangouts late at night, drunk and high beyond comprehension, like all good parents. It is likely the only thing keeping Keem in our realm are his undying fanbois, Mia, and his mentally lacking [[Futurama|Hispanic Robot]]. He will soon likely end up becoming [[an hero]]. | ||
==Rust== | ==Rust== | ||
Come August 2013, Keemstar had yet again surfaced on another [http://www.youtube.com/user/KillerKEEMSTAR miserable account] | Come August 2013, Keemstar had yet again surfaced on another [http://www.youtube.com/user/KillerKEEMSTAR miserable account] (even trying to [http://store.indiecity.com/projects/badtrip create a game]) so that he could gather more [[money]]; eventually just recording footage of a new game called Rust. Keemstar got attacked by a group of people and killed in the game; culminating in [http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1298655 a huge callout] on his faggotry ('''including him having been proved to [[script kiddie|hack the game]]'''). He spent time in this period ranting on his [https://twitter.com/KEEMSTARx 50th Twitter account] where he has been shown [http://puu.sh/423p1.png liking his own videos] to feed his [[ego]]. In an even more miserable attempt to keep his [[asshole|ego]] in check, he [https://vimeo.com/72325964 posted and abruptly removed this video] shortly before pursuing [[child abuse|other endeavours]]. | ||
On 1/9/14, Keem finally got free VACation by Valve and [https://twitter.com/playrust/status/421258290559868929 went on twitter] to complain to [[nerd|Garry Newman]]. His fans invaded the official forums to protest his ban because their dear leader could do no wrong. | On 1/9/14, Keem finally got free VACation by Valve and [https://twitter.com/playrust/status/421258290559868929 went on twitter] to complain to [[nerd|Garry Newman]]. His fans invaded the official forums to protest his ban because their dear leader could do no wrong. | ||
== DramaAlert and FaZe == | == DramaAlert and FaZe == | ||
After getting tired of Rust, BadKidsPodcast and getting banned on most servers for trying to annoy children | After getting tired of Rust, BadKidsPodcast, and getting banned on most servers for trying to annoy children, Keemstar started up a new way to express his ego in the best way possible: trying to be a journalist. He started up a new channel under the name of DramaAlert with the help of a "fan" to prevent Google from banning it. Of course, Keem spiced his "news" up to make himself great in every way possible and most of the time, he was involved in his own "drama". | ||
{{clear}} | |||
==His Family== | ==His Family== | ||
===Mia aka Future Whore in === | ===Mia aka Future Whore in === | ||
This is his pride and joy who he swears on every time | This is his pride and joy who he swears on every time he makes a to-be-broken promise. She will be a whore just like his girlfriend, Melissa. Just wait until she turns 13. She will turn out to be like Bish from battlecam: fucking everyone she can just for drugs because her dad spends his time shit talking instead of parenting her. | ||
It's quite clear that Keem has all the | It's quite clear that Keem has all the intent of raising her to be a crack-whore. He often brings her into the arguments like a ''FATHER OF THE YEAR'' would do; usually blaiming someone else for it and threatening to murder them for it. | ||
{{Quote|[[idiot|I SWEAR ON MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE I'M NOT LIEING TO YOU GUYS!]]|DJ Keemstar and his genius Parenting skills at work.}} | {{Quote|[[idiot|I SWEAR ON MY DAUGHTER'S LIFE I'M NOT LIEING TO YOU GUYS!]]|DJ Keemstar and his genius Parenting skills at work.}} | ||
Line 272: | Line 269: | ||
===Melissa === | ===Melissa === | ||
His girlfriend, Melissa, is a stupid blonde bitch who works for <s>the government</s> some crackhead cleaning company who has been with him for +5 years. She constantly goes out drinking with other men and woman with no mention of him on her facebook | His girlfriend, Melissa, is a stupid blonde bitch who works for <s>the government</s> some crackhead cleaning company who has been with him for +5 years. She constantly goes out drinking with other men and woman with no mention of him on her facebook. With photos to boot. Keem has often used her as a punching bag while drunk or high. | ||
Revision as of 21:12, 6 May 2016
Warning! The following article is about a child molester. |
—Some insignificant faggot on the internet |
DJ Keemstar (Powerword: Daniel Keem) is a leader of a clan on exbawcks live made up of 12 year olds known as the "Federation of Asshole Gamers" or the "F@G". He gained a following of 12 year old Halo fanboys who call their dungeon master "Halo's #1 Trashtalker". IRL, he's a butthurt father with an extreme amount of unwarranted self importance. DJ spends his life on Xbox Live, BlogTV, and Youtube where he has 50,000 subscribers from dick riding machinima directors and Call of Duty commentators. He begged them to advertise his YouTube channel but, hilariously enough, the only people that actually subscribed were 12-year-old boys. He is was the #1 most subscribed on BlogTV, which he accomplished by raging to his fans that it's his life goal to be the most subscribed on the entire fucking website. Though, if you think about it, it's not that hard to be the #1 most subscribed on a shitty web site that no one uses. It is extremely likely that he will at some point stumble upon this article and turn it into another excuse for him to fap to his own name. . When this time comes he should gtfo like the tool he is.
The Retard Behind the Online Retard
DJ and his Ego
From becoming a minuscule internet celebrity, DJ has become filled with unwarranted self importance to compensate for his small cock. He rants over teh internetz about what he is and isn't "about" and why people should give him money for making YouTube videos. Some argue that he just has his head up his ass but they are usually just butthurt because he won't let them suck his tiny penis. The most common explanation is that he fancies himself the king of the internets due to the surplus of 12-year-old boys at his sexual disposal. Experts believe he is aware of what a loser he is but to him it's AWWRIGHT!
Previous Video | Next Video
BlogTV Show
Every day, DJ broadcasts a live show at this URL which amazingly racks up hundreds to thousands of viewers on any given night. During said shows, he begins by playing music of his own shitty making. After playing his black person music until your ears bleed, DJ will either do one of two things for the rest of the stream: rage about shit nobody cares about for 5 hours or attempt to impress his fans by trash talking kids half his age on a game that no one has played since at least 100 years ago. These shows are never to the fans expectation as they are boring as fuck. The entire viewing of the show is listening to the enormous faggot ramble about how he's famous, blocking communications with every fanboy who sends him a message over Xbox Live saying how much they love his videos, and, most importantly, DJ will beg everyone watching the stream to donate to his paypal. He needs money because he does NOT have a real job. His job is slowly transforming YouTube in to one of his big steaming shit piles. Then, after doing all his faggotry, DJ advertises to his fans that they can buy a friend slot or moderator position on the BlogTV chat for a mere $20.00. Should you pay $20 to be on DJs friend list, you should know that like the faggot he is, he will remove you if you do anything annoy him. No joke. Some reasonable ways to get on his nerves include:
- Wanting to play with him.
- Messaging him over 9000 times because you paid $20 and he won't play with you.
- Betraying him (which the F@G built their reputation on)
- Verbally pwning him in a trash-talking session. Despite this thirty-year-old, unhappily
marrieddating douchebag promoting verbal abuse, he rages hard at any treatment of similar color. He cannot handle anything that might pwn his image.
If you paid $20.00 to be a mod of the Blog TV chat you can expect similar treatment. You can also lose your $20 title for posting his girlfriends number or links in public chat. Specifically, links to this article. It should also be said that because DJ lets any loser with $20 to their name moderate chat, rather than, say, choosing someone remotely competent for the job, they all abuse their power and boot anyone who isn't worshipping the faggot; especially for stating disapproval of any copyrighted material that he broadcasts. Like Origami World that one time.
—DJ KEEMSTAR every night on his stream begging his fans to pay him or else he cant pay his bills and his girlfriend will leave him. |
How to Trash Talk like Kumstar
The following is a simple and accurate guide so that anyone can sound like Halo 3's #1 trashtalker.
- First you should lurk matchmaking until you find a young child, someone with a speech impediment, or a sexually unexposed teenage girl. Don't worry about being reported. You're famous so Microsoft can't ban you!
- Next, you will want to insult your targets entire team based on their color as chosen automatically and randomly by the Halo Matchmaking System. If they are the red team, call them names such as Elmo Fluffers, Tomato Fuckers, or Furries. Similarly, the Blue Team can be called Smurfs, Blue Dildoes, or other unfunny shit. As long as it is overflowing with profanity and high volume it is sure to be a success.
- Make sure your target has their microphone plugged in because now it has become time to make fun of their gamertag. That's right, every gamers highest pride and joy is their gamertag so the most epic lulz can be achieved by making fun of it.
- Your target will realize how hard they have been trolled and will try to retort. By now, the game will undoubtedly have started and you should begin betraying them mercilessly.
- From this point, you will want to speak loudly and incoherently so that nobody can understand what the fuck your victim is saying. This accomplishes a definite win in the dispute and leads to the final conclusion.
- Pretend to start betraying them and, instead, let them betray you. Ask them a clever question to get them to say the word boot before you boot them from the game.
Congratulations, you are now one of Halo's best shit talkers.
Keemstar Nation
Keemstar Nation is the unclever name DJ gave to his fans. The demographic who find him relateable grew up with out a father figure to pwn any trash talker they encountered over XBOX Live. They found a troll with many YouTube views and decided to follow him until their balls dropped and they found something better to do. Every KKK Nation member can't handle bad things being said by their deity due to his demagogic nature. The common reaction to anything short of Keemstar worship is attempting to vandalize ED: a stupid and pointless thing to try. Half of the time, DJ says he does everything for his fans and the other half, he claims he does it for the money. This raises much confusion as he has never done much of anything apart from ranting and posting gameplay videos on YouTube. Should you tune into his Blog TV channel, you will undoubtedly hear him rambling about how he brightens every emo faggots day, being the clever troll that he is.
You can troll Keemstar Nation at this URL.
Trolling DJ
Tell him you're going to hack his gamertag.DDoS him after getting his IP from matchmaking.Call him and tell him you will report his ass to the police for being a pedophile, douche bag, homo.Let him know that 'asshole' is not an adjectiveSay his 2 year old daughter is a slutAsk if his girls pussy is as loose as it was in middle school.- It doesn't matter WHAT YOU SAY! He will RAGE over anything!
Previous Video | Next Video
— DJ KEEMSTAR |
Tale of Demise
Rise to Flame
One of the other G@Y members, Deranker, found DJ in a matchmaking game where he was yelling at the other players like any other butthurt Halo 3 player. From there, they slowly gained an internet following by convincing 12-year-olds their XBOXs were getting hacked and pretending to masturbate to girls over Halo 3 matchmaking. DJ has been doing this whole F@G thing, unaware that asshole isn't an adjective, for almost 2 years now. How did he get so popular? Well, if you haven't noticed, not like the other F@G leaders, F@G is Djs life. He needs to prostitute himself to make a living so he can please his 12-year-old fanbase; thus boosting the losers self-esteem since he has no friends IRL. He whores himself out via the use of an anonymous 20-something-year-old hispanic male who pretends to be a robot under the gamertag THE BAD ROBOT. Despite its apparent success in fooling children, it is painfully obvious to be a text-to-speech program found on most Windows OS called Microsoft Michelle. Everyone knows that DJ Keemstar would be a nobody if not for his audience considering what he does, ANYONE can do.
Artistically Trolled
DJ is extremely proud of his fabulous YouTube channel. It has viewers in the thousands. But most of all he's proud of the BlogTV banner he paid a professional for. I'm not shitting you. This egomaniac Guido paid some Britfag designer who has skills in flash that could be comprised within an afternoon of wanking and basic tutorials. You can view the immense amount of suck here. Of course, it's understandable as to why DJ would pay someone to create shit for him and get ripped off like the idiot he is. He's too busy streaming his live show.
pwnd? PWND!
Before DJ was dick riding everyone in Machinima and only had around 15,000 subscribers, he had to figure out a way to get more famous on the internet. DJ had spammed trash talking fights to establish himself as a champion so when he scored an audience with some MLG trashtalker named Walshy, he thought he had convinced the world that he was, in fact, Srs bsns. This video amassed many views as all the faggots who worship DJ thought he pwnd MLG. Not long after the videos release, his cameraman uploaded an unedited version of the video showing that it was just someone with a modded gamertag being talked through the video and agreeing to be publicly pwnd. This caused much butthurt to all of the F@G and lulz among the fanboys. It appeared, and so it was, that they had been PWND.
—DJ KEEMSTAR trying to look legit |
Machinima was M-M-M-MEAN TO ME
Last Thursday Bungie Studios had a nasty virus in their system. The F@G wasted no time in taking advantage of said glitch and stealing Halo: Reach Beta codes several days before it's public release. DJ promptly put in his beta code, despite his account being shutdown locked BANHAMMERED at the time, to play Halo: Reach with all of the people who were privileged enough to receive a Beta code legitimately. DJ immediately began betraying people left and right like the team player he is until he pissed off someone who was a bigger name than he, f1stdacuffs (another no name Machinima director amiright?).
DJ became butthurt because Machinima would not let him upload the video of f1stdacuffs betrayal and so began their petty YouTube rage battle (like the immature assholes they both are). DJ made an unfunny parody character of f1stdacuffs: whom he gave the unfunny name f1stdabutts.
Get Hacked
DJ got hacked countless times over his shitty pathetic lifespan. Some of the script kiddies who played an OTI round of weep-the-guido were:
- Vv3AsOne - A l33t hecker who got DJ's accounts on a bunch of social networks.
- The Most Regal - Sold the IP and password database of all 1,250 of his fans in April, '10 when he quit.
- KnOwN As FrOsTy - Proved DJ's phone number by calling during a live stream for all to see, and called in a swat team on keemstar.
- CaLL Me MaXWeLL - Told DJ a secret way of getting his gamertag unbanned, knowing that he would change the gamertag and get it banned, it was a success. See more in DJ KEEMSTAR#DJ Vs. XBL-Enforcement Team from this dose of lulz.
Notable Hackers that fucked up Keemstar:
Vv3AsOne
An internet tough guy who
- Hacked DJs Twitter.
- Perma-banned his facebook.
- Got himself AssholeGamers.com Account/Mod privileges
- Goatse'd Keemstar.com
- Shared the YouTube channel, and helped upload a shitload to it.
- Hacked his Machinima account, he had to get a brand new contract.
- Has dox on DJ flowing in a constant stream out of his arsehole.
- Recently found an exploit on the filmon.com server which allowed him to steal disc space/bandwidth in the gigs in a matter of minutes.
- Trolled DJ by giving him of what he thought was his address.
- Contacted DJ's ISP and successfully shut down his home phone, internet, and TV services.
After it was discovered, he created a curl script, and released it opensource. It lasted about 1 hour before Alki discovered that he had taken around 10 gigs of disc space, and 30 gigs of bandwidth with it.
And who could forget how he hit him offline while streaming for about 1 month almost everyday in a constant quest for teh lulz.
The Most Regal
DJ's next unlucky web encounter was with The Most Regal who been tortured by DJ the longest (masochist) in his basement of secrets. Three months to be exact. Regal bought keemstarnation.com, djkeemstar.com, and haloderanker.com and took over on federationofassholegamers.com. Regal is the one who turned DJ into what he is today; a respectable and generous human being. When Regal showed DJ how to get google ads on websites, (DJ spelled it 'websight'). DJ went batshit crazy on making sure his personal army spam clicked everything. DJ quit his job due to the income this generated: about $250 per day. He gave a quarter to Regal and kept a quarter but said he reinvested the other half when he actually blew it on cigarettes and sex toys for his wife girlfriend cumdumpster.
Eventually Regal and DJ got in fights due to Regal being just as much of a money grubbing Jew. He would make the f@ggot look like a newf@g on his own live stream. It wasn't long before Regal got bored of being DJ's BDSM whore and wanted to do something for the lulz. He was given a moderator position on DJ's popular BlogTV stream. Regal's troll face immediately came out and he banned hundreds of people including DJ's IP address. He changed the background to Miley Cyrus pics, forcing DJ to ragequit OVER 9000 times. Consequences were never the same because Regal decided to delete the site with 1,250 members on it. The lulz didn't end there! He took the databases which had everyones IP addresses and passwords. He started hacking whomever crossed his path, officially pwning the entirety of the f@ggots.
—DJ KeemStarOfDavid in his Jew quest to steal Google's money |
DJ Vs. XBL-Enforcement Team
Last Thursday, DJ woke up one morning to turn on the good old Xbox. At that given moment, his gamer-tags started to get locked. They were under investigation by Microsoft. DJ was in RAAAAAAEG mode over this; especially when he found out trolls were calling in Xbox-live and reporting ownership of his gamertags and calling him a hacker. The F@G community went under a brief moment of panic and became very butthurt. As DJ was yelling in his mic on the live stream, the chatters started spamming up a shitstorm as usual. The solution?
- Make a YouTube video.
- Call up all the F@G fan boys.
- Give a dramatic speech that the world is ending.
- Gather his army of delusional fans who think they can change how the world works.
- Tell them to call up Microsoft and do the same thing to other people's gamertags as well.
After the so called storm on Xbox-live had finished, and the world had changed according to Keemstar, Xbox-live changed their policy so people wouldn't be so easily social engineered. The fan boys popped boners and were all treated to a speech saying that if it weren't for the fans none of this would have happened. "20 dollars paypal to [email protected]". Well, during the phone calls the F@G fans made to Xbox live support, one of the mods of the live show reported that his gamertag was hacked. He went by the name of WingsofRedemption: which happens to be a popular name in the gaming community and a victim of Keemstars rise to fame. WingsOfRedemption didn't want to take any more of DJ's faggotry and wanted to end him once and for all. Wings proceeded to tell other big Machinima directors (and Machinima itself) the truth behind DJ: how much of a jew he really is. Keemstar got wind of the situation and made a butthurt YouTube video. Now, with DJ calling him out, Wings became very nervous. The f@ggots had a reputation for raiding and shutting down YouTube channels. To cover his ass, Wings called up the gods of Xbox-live and showed everything that was wrong with DJ KreamlovingFaggot.
Nothing happened for several days. Eventually, Xbox-live Enforcement Team caught wind of the situation and began to view Haloahole videos on YouTube. The Xbox-Live Gods were very disappointed to see the faggotry that was taking place on their motha' fuckin' networks. The almighty Microsoft raised it's ban hammer for the 9000th time and, thus, Deranker, 2 Bucks, DJ, and DJ's fake robot account would all have to be transferred to a brand new console. Of course, DJ accomplished this by begging for money on the live stream. What DJ didn't know is that the enforcement team was monitoring the show and banning whatever account he violated the rules of Xbox-live with. The Xbox-live enforcement team director, Stepto, was the main individual banning/suspending DJ's gamertags. In no time at all Stepto became a God among all the people who hate and despise Keemstar. Keemstar began raging even more. He threatened Stepto with legal action claiming his retarded inbred brother is a lawyer who would pick up the case. DJ's big plan was to sue Microsoft; thinking he could collect his Jew gold on the damages of so-called "harassment". The stupid guido fuck forgot to read the Xbox-Live Code of Conduct and Terms of Use every single time he agreed to them. Hey now, DJ did know what he was talking about since his last job was to use scare tactics into getting people to pay off debts they owed to the government.
Being the lolcow he is, DJ called his personal army onto the live stream; telling them to spam Steptos Twitter and mention Bill Gates. Apparently, he thought someone would give a rat's ass. Around four-hundred fans from the live stream began to spam and then promptly became bored and quit. It didn't stop there! DJ called up his good YouTube pal, Ishatonu, who actually had a semi-intelligent fan base. He tried to explain the situation "in his own way." It soon turned into incoherent rambling about how Microsoft was harassing him and banning his accounts because he's gay. The gay jokes wouldn't stop coming from DJ, which brought about many lulz because Stepto is a flaming homosexual IRL. DJ begged Shat to tell his fans to get in the live show and help alleviate the situation. Shat didn't want to touch the retard's problems with a 10-foot pole so he made DJ a thread on /b/ and bowed out. Unfortunately for DJ, the thread looked like a personal army request. Once DJ saw the thread he began to get wet thinking anonymous would fix everything for him... but as the thread unraveled it read only "not your personal army". Trolls began to drop DJ's dox taking full advantage of a back raid. DJ, being the fail guy that he is, watched the thread and stated that only three people were repeating the same stuff over and over. He thought he was invincible from anon because he brought up a good word about them on the live stream and even made a freestyle days before: saying "anony anony anony" over and over again. The thread aged and saged, and as it sunk into the darkest pits of /b/, it took DJ's hopes and dreams with it. Helpless and at a loss for words, DJ tried to lol and get back to being the biggest retard on BlogTV.
To add even more lulz icing on the bawwwww cake, DJ was under the assumption that Stepto was, purposefully without reason, harassing him when, in truth, by creating each account with the purpose to troll and cause drama over Xbox-Live, he was violating Xbox-Live's code of conduct. Due to his and F@G's publicly-streamed repeated offenses, he was setting himself up for the ban hammer. The shit coaster wasn't over yet. He announced he would sue Stepto for taking away his "right to free speech". Unbeknownst to DJ, Stepto was acting on behalf ofMicrosoft and couldn't be sued solely. He would have been suing Microsoft which has as much chance of winning as DJ has of getting laid.
Now that DJ and F@G had caught Xbox-Live Enforcement's attention, F@G would no doubt end in a lulzy demise.
Lulzy Demise
Thanks to the efforts of those with a sense of lulz and a little help from /b/, DJ had been harassed. His IRL Dox had been found out and advertised for all of 4chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica to see. Because of their efforts, the Xbox LIVE moderators had stumbled across his fail and gotten on his case. It was only a matter of time before the shit hit the fan.
On August 24, 2010 Last Thursday, DJ KEEMSTAR gave up on fighting Live and announced the end of F@G. He played one last game on the Blogtv stream, which ended with another banhammer. He gave a last goodbye and then removed moderator privileges from everyone. All of the fanboys became butthurt because they couldn't power trip with the $20 they gave him. A fanboy by the name of gangstaJ007 decided to retract around 2000 dollars from DJ's Paypal; making the account go negative and frozen. With a negative Paypal account, and his moniez all gone, DJ was forced to return to work as a librarian or else make his 1 year old daughter homeless.
It seems DJ's sexual robot slave is going to the PS3 (not like he'll find that many people with a mic to troll anyway). DJ later announced that he will be not quitting. He and the rest of F@G, such as Denigger, Fagbot, and 2 Cocks, will continue making videos. Instead of wreaking havoc, they decided they woould take clips of halo players becoming LOL RAGE and send them to xbox; basically becoming what they so much despised. DJ has acquired a new ass slave by the name of bluepoint951: who agreed to handle his paypal (a classic move by DJ: putting all his trust in a completely incompetent stranger). Eventually, bluepoint had enough and ragequitted as well. You see, bluepoint is a legitimate homosexual who has a 7-inch uncircumcised penis. Therefore, he needs a man who is bigger; however, he ended up being the receiver of rage and DJ's 1.3 inch penis. A game of "just the tip in" for bluepoint would be full insertion for DJ. So after DJ had gotten back on his feet, bluepoint fucked off.
You're Fired & I'm Lawing the Law Down!
On October 30, 2010, DJ accused bluepoint951 of stealing his money and fucking with the paypal when it was nearly time to pay his bills. His girlfriend had recently quit his dick for not being able to make enough money; thereby forcing her out of the kitchen and into the real world. In an attempt to "create" entertainment out of being fuck'd in the asshole by a vagina and his online accountant, DJ convinced the hivemind that they were the victim of thought control from bluepoint951, ironically. Apparently bluepoint951 had been planning a mutiny with several other Moderators to overthrow DJ from his fictional seat of power. BUT WAIT! He was also having a gay online relationship with an underage blogTV user by the name of crossfaaade. DJ's claim to prove this supposed relationship was a fan sign of them together.
Over the next several days, DJ accused bluepoint951's squadron of being a stream full of trolls; guilty of betrayal and were trying to ruin his show. He proceeded to "fire" several mods and "law the law down" on the rest of his stream. DJ attempted to send several of his best moderators and fans as spies to watch for an "attack" from bluepoint951's blogTV stream; however, nothing of the sort succeeded and the attempt to "troll the trolls" failed. As everyone on bluepoint951's stream discovered as the days past, "DJ is right 100% of the time always" and "will one day be on G4 TV." A true monument of his own glory. You can see these conversations at this URL.
Guys, Show Some Respect. Chuck is Dead.
On November 4, 2010 at 6:30PM EST, DJ announced that he was going to be sponsored by FilmOn.com. He would never need any more donations from his viewers! To celebrate his increased sell-out status, was going to give valuable items away for free: a whole collection of his old banned Xbox 360 Slims.
—DJ KEEMSTAR masturbating to a picture of himself |
The site began to get mass amounts of views from fans spamming the Special link. DJ, being his usual self, started gloating about how his fame crashed the website. This faggotry went on for about an hour until the creator of FilmOn.com, Alki David, called DJ and told him that Vv3AsOne and friends had been DDoSing the fuck out of him via an exploit that skull-fucks bandwidth. Alki was quick to assure DJ that the police had been contacted and the perpetrators had been arrested. Not long after, DJ was playing Xbox Live as usual until he received a phone call. He returned to the show to announce that he had just learned of a death in the family. Chuck Keem, his brother, had just entered necrophilia territory. After announcing the death, some other f@ggot became co-host of the show as DJ went away from keyboard to baw. After announcing his brothers "death", he told his slave-bit moderators to link to a bot site so he could sell e-mails overseas; allowing access to all his fans credit information. His blogtv show was hacked and shutdown by a troll streaming gay pron on 11/16/2010.
We recommend calling him to give your condolences laugh at him.
—DJs basement-dwelling moderators |
Brb, Cyber Police
On November 19, the Holland New York police department was cleverly deceived by someone who DJ claims to be MiZ Fr0sTi (his greatest cumdumpster nemesis), but was probably just anon, called the pigs and claimed to be a deaf person being held hostage in a bathroom at DJ's address. The police were also told that DJ was wearing a razor blade necklace and was about to an hero. Being relatively unexposed to trolling, the police could not simply say lol internet. They dispatched a SWAT team and several police cars in order to save the hearing impaired from having to bathe in the Keem residence. DJ was out having a smoke when the cops arrived and held him at gunpoint. His wife and 1 year old daughter were next out of the house, and it was around this time that DJ realized that he was being trolled. His response was the same as always: make a YouTube video, display a massive case of victim complex, and tell the internet that YA DUN GOOF'D.
Previous Video | Next Video |
The Cancer Comes Back
January 18, 2011, after three months of hiatus and making extremely shitty videos they called "classics", F@G declared they were coming back. This of course meant that DJ Keemstar and company would make more videos of yelling at 13 year old boys and stroking their e-peen. They were still terribly unfunny unless you were prepubescent. In their debut video, DJ pulled out one of his dumb ass personalities, DJ Redneck. He tried really hard to troll a kid but he, once again, makes himself look stupid as hell. The kid didn't even rage. He also forgets David beat Goliath.
—DJ Keemstar confirming he is a pedo |
MinecraftStars
Minecraftstars was a Minecraft "community" for his fans. DJ being DJ tried to use it for making money. Fans had to pay 100$ to get on a server which was run by two people known as Dylan and Brien. However, This idea crashed in a sea of piss after 2 months when Dylan went batshit crazy and replaced the website and DJ's forums with his landlord's facebook and DJ's real address over how DJ treats his "slaves". DJ claimed that Dylan stole 7,000$ from him which was proven false when DJ bought a brand new flat screen TV and shitty DJ set by sheer coincidence.
— Big faggot asking for help from his slave |
After the whole deal with Dylan, Brien came out as a troll and changed the password to the YouTube channel and HIS paypal
The END to his Youtube or faggotry
On September 1st, 2011 The main channel "Haloaholes" was shut down after Google caught on that he was selling partnership to people. This upset Google because it's illegal and against their terms of service, but we all know how DJ feels about terms of service. DJ claims that the 50 dollars for the partnership was a "deposit" to make sure that no one would upload pr0nz and get his account suspended. Either way Google did the internet a great service in killing some of the cancer.
Youtube.com/haloaholesBANNEDYoutube.com/KEEM5TARBANNEDYoutube.com/flagmyvidsBANNEDYoutube.com/thekeemstarnetworkBANNEDalong with all his past channels which were flagged. Except for this one.Now B& aswellAlso this is the new F@G Channellolnope, that's gone too
Now, being the over-dramatic tard that DJ is, he had to make a self-promotion video about his channel's shutdown.
Now, he does have a new channel but it is morbidly unfunny. This is the new channel (B&) he posts on. Also, F@G is supposedly going to be "reborn" on this channel. The only people who follow him now are 12 year olds with nothing else to do in their day. Oh wait, they already were. He also has a lonely ass blog channel where he satisfies his continuous urge to have buttsex with his trolls and anyone else on his channel, being the natural attention whore that he is. Did I mention that he loves Ron Paul?
LiveaRoo Hacked
On March 16th, 2012, DJ KEEMSTAR declared war on Team Avolition via Twitter for unknown reasons. After several messages were exchanged between the two, DJ KEEMSTAR refused to admit Team Avolition's worthiness of ice cream on a Skype call. His website, http://www.livearoo.com, was defaced less than an hour after the call ended.
The contents of his website were replaced with an image of the Twitter message that started the confrontation and a video taunting DJ KEEMSTAR. At the time of this writing, his reaction to the incident is unknown because he has not answered any phone calls. In all likelihood, he will become an hero. Nope He's still being the greedy attention whore he's known for being
Team Noble, And his return to the Machinima family
Recently, Kumstain was "given" The Youtube channel "TeamNoble" which is a partnered channel (previously run by Machinima Respawn). Because Neither bothered to examine the Youtube Community Guidelines, they "didn't know" selling or giving away partnered channels is a bannable offense. tl;dr its more of the same faggotry from Keemstar
You can report his new channel/videos here SHUT DOWN BY LIAT (SEE BELOW)
DJ vs. LifeInATent
Last Thursday, DJ ultimately decided it would be a great idea to call out fellow attention whore, MeganSpeaks (LIATs well known Spawn/Girlfriend). Since another man talked with his wimminz, rallied his YouTube robot army and B& ALL OF HIS ACCOUNTS INTO OBLIVION JUST AS HIS NEW COHOST MOVED IN
LIAT, for the first and only time in his life, was the hero. He had left DJ without youtubes yet again.
DJ, soon after getting his just deserts, called his personal army to shut down LIATs twitter. Just like most recent 4chan raids, it was disorganized. They tried doxing him using typical doxing methods did not do proper fact checking. Feeling sad and depressed at the lack of means to whore himself, it became a daily routine for DJ to show up on Google Hangouts late at night, drunk and high beyond comprehension, like all good parents. It is likely the only thing keeping Keem in our realm are his undying fanbois, Mia, and his mentally lacking Hispanic Robot. He will soon likely end up becoming an hero.
Rust
Come August 2013, Keemstar had yet again surfaced on another miserable account (even trying to create a game) so that he could gather more money; eventually just recording footage of a new game called Rust. Keemstar got attacked by a group of people and killed in the game; culminating in a huge callout on his faggotry (including him having been proved to hack the game). He spent time in this period ranting on his 50th Twitter account where he has been shown liking his own videos to feed his ego. In an even more miserable attempt to keep his ego in check, he posted and abruptly removed this video shortly before pursuing other endeavours.
On 1/9/14, Keem finally got free VACation by Valve and went on twitter to complain to Garry Newman. His fans invaded the official forums to protest his ban because their dear leader could do no wrong.
DramaAlert and FaZe
After getting tired of Rust, BadKidsPodcast, and getting banned on most servers for trying to annoy children, Keemstar started up a new way to express his ego in the best way possible: trying to be a journalist. He started up a new channel under the name of DramaAlert with the help of a "fan" to prevent Google from banning it. Of course, Keem spiced his "news" up to make himself great in every way possible and most of the time, he was involved in his own "drama".
His Family
Mia aka Future Whore in
This is his pride and joy who he swears on every time he makes a to-be-broken promise. She will be a whore just like his girlfriend, Melissa. Just wait until she turns 13. She will turn out to be like Bish from battlecam: fucking everyone she can just for drugs because her dad spends his time shit talking instead of parenting her.
It's quite clear that Keem has all the intent of raising her to be a crack-whore. He often brings her into the arguments like a FATHER OF THE YEAR would do; usually blaiming someone else for it and threatening to murder them for it.
—DJ Keemstar and his genius Parenting skills at work. |
Melissa
His girlfriend, Melissa, is a stupid blonde bitch who works for the government some crackhead cleaning company who has been with him for +5 years. She constantly goes out drinking with other men and woman with no mention of him on her facebook. With photos to boot. Keem has often used her as a punching bag while drunk or high.
—Straight from the whore herself. |
Dox
Gamertags
DJ KEEMSTARSOMEONE PERMA-SUSPENDED IT SO YOU CAN'T CHANGE ITUPDATE: HACKED AND STOLE 3,000$BANNED AGAINKEEMSTAR DJBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLxDJ KEEMSTARBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLDJ KEEMSTAR 911BANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLSPARKLES RAPBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLKEEMSTARBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLLOVE me Stepto-Until farther notice, lulz.SUSPENDED UNTIL 8/28/10 LOL.GAY RIGHTS FtwBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLPUNT a KITTYGAMERTAG NOT ALLOWEDFEDERATION4LIFESUSPENDED UNTIL 8/25/10 LOLDJ KEEMSTAR 4evBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLHeart KeemstarBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLKEEMSTAR vs UBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLKeemstar LegendBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL AND 13th CONSOLE BAN.DJ KEEMSTAR FTWBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOLx keemstar xBANNED UNTIL 12/31/9999 LOL- CJ DIPPA
- Try Hard Team
- Red Dead Gay
- ProTrashTalker
- pants on the gr
- AZiggy15 - but sssshhhhhhh this ones a secret
- Pit Stain99 - this one is also a secret, but not quite as secret.
- THE HAPPY ROBOT - Alias for his Microsoft Michelle ROBOT account.
- K22 Lives
- LORD KEEMSTAR
- KEEMSTAR 15BANS
- King KEEMSTAR
- DJ KEEMSTAR yes
- iKEEMSTAR
- X manger
- KILL KEEMSTAR
- YES HELP - Current GamerTag
Emails
IRL DOX
DJ loves having Stuff sent to his house ;)
- Name: Daniel Keem (Dan Keem for short)
IRL Phone Number: (716) 222 4024Next IRL Phone Number: (716) 783 7696Changed after followers of a certain Capitalist convinced his OWN army to spam his number
Street Address: 95 N Main St Holland, NY 14080-9702Trolled to move, lulz.Next Street Address: 55 Mineral Springs Road, Buffalo New York 14210- Current Street Address: 12 Cardinal Ln West Seneca, New York
- Skype username: keemtripstar
- GF's Name: Melissa R. Flack
- GF's Cell Phone Number: (716) 563-8263
- GF's Facebook
- Mother & Father: Beverly and Martin (Not his real parents) Adopted LOL
- Parents Home Phone Number: (585) 457-3161
- Parents Street Address: 816 Chaffe RD. Arcade, New York 14009 (Who would of guessed it was a farm?)
- Other Relatives: Mary Alice Keem, Diane M Keem, Daryl M Keem, Gerald R Keem, Sarah E Keem,
Chuck Keemoops., Chris Keem AND HERE IS HIS Facebook: [1]
F@G Gallery
See Also
External Links
Twitter PageSuspendedSteam accountVAC BANNED- Inactive - F@G Youtube Page
PermabannedReinstatedGONE AGAIN Keemstar's YouTube ChannelPermabannedNew YouTube ChannelPermabannedNew YouTube ChannelPermabannedAnother YouTube ChannelPermabannedInactive - Yet another ChannelPermabannedActive - Current YouTube ChannelPermabanned
Keemstar's Blog YouTube ChannelPermabanned BAWWWKeemstar's YouTube SCAM NetworkPermabannedActive - His New Network, If Only People New About His Previous Scam $50 Partnership NetworkDIDN'T LAST BUT TWO FUCKING WEEKS
Dumb Podcast with OnlyUseMeBladePermabannedDumb Podcast with Scott Kinmartin and OnlyUseMeBladePermabannedActive - Podcast with and OnlyUseMeBladeBANNED AGAIN
Inactive - Old attempt at a drama channelBANNEDNew Youtube Page About Stupid DramaPermabannedWatch his latest channel get banned too...No surprise there[http://www.youtube.com/user/DramaAlert1 Inactive - Drama Alert YouTube Channel]GONE- Active - Current Drama Alert YouTube Channel
His Tryhard Qwikscowpe "Clan"Permabanned- Inactive - His failed minecraft community channel
Blog TV PageBANNED- Battlecam.com Channel
- Facebook Page
Personal FacebookREMOVED- Old Myspace Gallery
- Proof of DJ's lack of understanding
DJ KEEMSTAR is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
DJ KEEMSTAR is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article October 12, 2010 | ||
Preceded by MicahFennec |
DJ KEEMSTAR | Succeeded by Online Roleplaying |
Featured article May 6 & May 7, 2016 | ||
Preceded by Abu Hajaar |
DJ KEEMSTAR | Succeeded by PAGEHERE |