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ForeverKailyn: Difference between revisions
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== The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations == | == The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations == |
Revision as of 03:53, 17 January 2017
"ForeverKailyn" (now MsKailynMarie) aka Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is an obese, lazy, white trash socialite and self-proclaimed Youtube beauty guru from Bowie, Maryland. Kailyn has been shitting out Youtube videos since 2007. She currently holds the world record for producing the most lulz, scandals, and retard drama in a single lifetime next to her soul mate, Chris Chan.
The most notoriety Kai has ever received was a feature spot on Vh1's Best Week Ever blog for her signature phrase "Hai Everyjuan", and a segment on Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9.
As of February 2014, Kailyn has gone into hiding after her most recent scandal.
On March 2, 2014, Kailyn's newest Youtube channel, mskailynmarie, was suspended for violations. She has since privated her vlog channel, Kailyn vlogs. When asked about what happened, she of course said "Someone was able to get my account suspended. I'm not sure how or why. I didn't do anything wrong." Unfortunately, it was only a 24-hour suspension and she is back. She gives a cockroach a run for its money. She would probably survive a nuclear blast.
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
Personal Life & Family
Disability ass demon Kailyn Marie Wilcher (aka Kai ("k-eye"), Kailyn Kardashian, ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaivman, Gorilla, FAS rere, Potato head Retarded thing, etc.) was birthed on May 18th 1990 to Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher (aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy, MW) and dirty beaner Michael Wilcher (aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher, Papa Wheelie). It is believed that Kailyn was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome which has given her a lulzy speech impediment, a compulsive giggle exhale, retard induced cuntiness, and a fuck load of narcissism. Kai's parents are separated yet live together, and it's alleged that Papa Wheelie moved back to the Beige Mansion because he couldn't afford to live on his own while continuing to support the Wilcher ladies. Kai lives as a "stay-at-home daughter" at the Beige Mansion in Bowie (aka Booie), which is decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups.
As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato was retarded and deformed, Kai was doomed forever. Mama Wilsher enrolled her little shit-for-brains in various elementary schools before pulling her out of retard classes, using the excuse that the DC Sniper was on the loose, or so she reasoned. Instead of mainstream classes, MW homeschooled Kai at The Sunflower Academy (aka the kitchen table). Homeschool enabled Kai to rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her bedroom (formally Pink Dungeon) while Mama did all of Kai’s homework/worksheets, which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a second grader. Due to her moron of a mother, Kai has never been told she has any disabilities, even though she has a hockey-stick palmar crease, a symptom unique to only those with FAS, and admits she was thoroughly retard-tested as a small demon.
Lisa works from home in a salon converted from their garage, Lisa's Hair Shanty, doing old lady perms twice a week for the neighborhood hags while getting inebriated. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, enabling mother is her best friend, but in reality she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.
To support his pride and joy, Michael doles out his hard earned pension dollars to the Wilcher ladies every month, formerly working for a courthouse cleaning air vents and polishing floors.
Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle Stephen E. Sokoloski (aka Uncle-daddy Stephen, Uncle Acne); his wife and Kai's archenemy; her 8 year old cousin, Eli (who all live with granny, Dorothy Sokoloski). Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling and cam girl scandal. She's proud that when he passed, she didn't even cry.
The Kween blames Uncle Stephen for giving her pizza face genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being a walrus.
Diet, Hygiene & Weight Gain
Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, Mama Alchy hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from stinking up the mansion too much.
Kailyn's diet mainly consists of ranch dressing with the occasional baby carrot or pretzel crithspth. She eats salad with everything but lettuce, because she's not sure if it's even "eatable". Her favorite meal is clucks and fries, and she'll even resort to ordering off the kid's menu if the restaurant she's at doesn't feature chicken fingers on it's big gurl menu. Speaking of restaurants, her favorites are Red Robin, The Cheesecake Factory (for special occasions, like her birthday), and Grotto's The Legendary Taste® (for Mama W's birthday). But fuck Papa W's birthday, he's just there to pay for everything.
SEE IMGUR ALBUM OF THE KWEEN’S FAVORITE FOODS.
In case it hasn't been obvious, our FAS kween has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the Pretty Ladies comment on the obese whale's weight, and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the PLs estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and as of early 2017, are convinced she's well over 250 lbs. She now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers, all of which MW's magic mirror can no longer hide.
Friends (Or Lack Thereof)
Besides superficial friendships with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend who is no longer her friend because she's a darkie. Kai gushed on YT about having a friend who sent her a necklace that says "you're my person", but the PLs are convinced her only real friend is Amy Zon. Her penpals don't count, because there's no way to confirm how many of them are real, and how many are actually haydurs. Occasionally, Kai will elude to going out "with a friend" but it can only be deduced that it's MW or the latest CPW (car/penis/wallet).
Bella
Lisa bought Kai her one and only true best friend, Bella, a derpy mutt sold to them for thousands of dollars under the guise of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would love Bella even if she was a horse". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion (because she never gets to go outside) she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the fart wars in the Lavender Dungeon, or holed up inhaling fumes in The Shanty. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her "act silly". Recent information has surfaced that Bella has never been registered with their local municipality. This makes one wonder if this dog has ever seen a veterinarian or been vaccinated. We know that Lisa 'grooms' the dog, which could only mean she's never been professionally groomed.
David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011)
David (aka Davit) is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up aborting the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including camming, shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a 3-some with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for trannies and dykes to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on BlogTV to appease trolls telling her to do it for the lulz, and soon after ended the relationship for good.
After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
Tragically, David passed away in early July of 2015. When Kailyn found out about this, she immediately began posting old photos of the two of them together (mostly inappropriate ones, like her in a bikini) and was talking about how he and she had all their 'firsts' together. She immediately began 'friending' all David's Facebook friends in order to find out when the funeral was and get a ride (because Lisa wasn't going to take her). The day after the funeral, she posted her 'funeral makeup' and a 'funeral selfie' with a friend (who was really trolling her by standing with Kailyn's infamous leg pop/hand on hip pose), in both of which she was grinning. On the selfie, she even posted the caption "we look fab" with a backdrop of the funeral home and hearse. This 'friend' specifically asked that Kailyn NOT post the picture on social media, but Kailyn being Kailyn, ignored this person's request and posted it anyway because she is a sociopath and doesn't care about other people's feelings. Needless to say, her behavior during this sad event was inappropriate and put another strain on her already sham of a marriage. Matt was NOT happy.
Matt (Husband, 2011-2016)
Matthew Todd Hughes (aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby) is a fat, dough-faced, retarded fag loving piece of white trash living in Maryland's "country" who formerly worked as a cart-pusher at Wallyworld. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish while he was still dating Maureen Lewis. As usual, Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.
On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulzy wedding bells were heard across Maryland State. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the elegant St. Mary's County courthouse. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from Kohl's, while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a Vintage McDonald's Manager's uniform. None of the Wilchers or Hughes were in attendance.
Matt has shown sexual interest in the gays by pretending to hate them, and even making his potato head wife go to church to cure her of bisexualism.
Mooren
Maureen Elizabeth Lewis (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, Nigger, Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane inbred welfare nigger with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a lulzy speech impediment. Momo is a product of her father and aunt’s sexual affair, and was living in a cockroach infested trailer with her rapist father, Elmore Lewis, before he went to prison. Matt denied knowing the wild ape, but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [1][2]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy obsessed stalking ensued.
—Maureen Lewis, stalking Madd |
Mooren found forums and blogs online dedicated to trolling the FAS Kween and started posting dirt on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally filmed her encounter [3] with her ex, Matt. The crazy nignog has since slowed her antics, but is still stalking the couple.
These days, trolls will only bait her for the lulz as she is now in her own delusional competition with the Kween and is desperate to get impregnated by a POF sperm whale.
In Mooren’s freetime, she learns how to play guitar steals other people’s shitty guitar covers and sings over them. Some of her better songs have been turned into music videos based on the Booie socialites’ love triangle via the Kween’s trolls and Sims characters. [4] [5]
Married Life (2012-2016)
As of 2014, Kai and Madd live separately with their parents. Kai continues to live with her caregiver in Bowie while Matt lives with his white trash parents, Mary C. Hughes and Todd D. Hughes, and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, Amber, in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has realized his wife is a hideous whale and now only visits once a month to pump his whale full of sperm.
When the PLs confronted her about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt lived with her in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after PLs found her uploading to instagram with geotags in Madd's location. It was clear that in the beginning, Matt believed Kai was internet famous and thought he would get worshipped, but the haydurs have since drove him off the internets. Soon after this revelation, Matt began controlling Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.
Rape Accusations
On October 2, 2013, well prior to their divorce, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend A. In February, the scandal was announced to the PLs after a PL pretending to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and hubby were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a "misunderstanding". After realizing she had managed to turn even the most politically correct, social justice communities against her, she deleted everything.
Prennicy (2013)
The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having long been a useless waste of space, decided it would be a great idea to get pregnant. Afterall, how else would she get away with not having to work and continue to collect SSDI for the next 18 years? Luckily, the Sokoloski women have a multigenerational cycle they have mastered to lock down financial income, called the Sokoloski Cycle:
Step 1: get hitched quickly
Step 2: get knocked up instantly
Step 3: separate from your husband
Step 4: demand money “for the child”
Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 was smart enough to abort itself in March of 2013. However, have no fear--in October 2013---our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 (presumably on the night of the aforementioned rape). Kai is currently expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be government leech while she continues to purchase hundreds of dollars’ worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month.
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Mermaid Syndrome?
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already mouth breathing like Mama
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it’s supposed to be pointing at a vagina, go ahead and figure the rest out (Dr.Trolling, OB/GYN)
Our Kween was thrilled to find that she would be having a girl to add to the Sokoloski Cycle. Surprising absolutely no one, the mini slack-jawed demon has already proven to be an incompetent little retard after Kai announced that her doctor had a really difficult time measuring the fetus’ nuchal translucency, which is the first common sign of Down’s. Whether the mini demon will be a retard because hubby punched Kai in the stomach (needs citation), Kai was drinking while trying to conceive or because it will be coming from two long lines of brainless morons, little rere demon Gracie Marie Wilcher-Hughes will make its debut in the world, dead or alive, in July 2014.
Desite having no real friends, Mama Alchy held two baby showers for the spoiled brat; one at the in-laws Callaway Baptist Church with a bunch of strangers, and the other in their Booie home. To fill up space, Lisa paid off invited Kai's childhood friends that hadn't seen her in years and barely remembered the fassy retard who would wave at them in the school bus as it drove off without her.
It is believed that the Kween suffered from multiple health problems during her pregnancy (which she vehemently denied, even though she couldn't *giggle exhale* without sounding like a dying fish out of water). She gained a large amount of weight, and it was suspected that Gestational Diabetes was a cause. Kai admitted to having "hardly hypertension" in the months after the birth, along with issues with her juan layg.
RIP in Pieces Kailyn's Marriage
In November, 2014, the truth was finally revealed. Kailyn could not lie anymore about Matt living with them. They 'officially' separated that month and divorce papers were filed by Matt in December of 2015 (they needed to be separated for a minimum of one year before they could file). Of course Kailyn, being the simple rere that she is, had no clue (nor did she care) about what the process entailed and was mostly worried about the money being spent for a lawyer instead of being spent on her. The fist pounds could be heard for miles. The divorce court hearing took place on February 25, 2016.
It was early 2016 when Kai transformed her Madd tattoo into the monstrosity of the black, lacy bow it is today.
Update: The divorce was final as of August 2, 2016 and cost the Wilchers upwards of $5,000, even though no formal visitation schedule, child support or alimony payments were finalized as part of the divorce. It is understood that Kai was bored throughout much of the proceedings and had to undergo a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation to determine just wtf is wrong with the gorilla. Kailyn did a "My Divorce" video that is full of untruths (of course). Now she can start searching....oh wait, she has already been searching...for a new CPW. For over a year - well before she and Matt were 'officially' separated - Kailyn trolled OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish (among other dating sites) looking for Madd 2.0.
Hunt for a New Man (or Woman--she's bi, y'all)
Recently, she has had several 'coffee dates' at Thtarbucks, where her mom drives her to meet her unsuspecting victims. Of course, she lets them pay for her $6 cup of sugared cream with a dash of coffee. (The Wilcher women NEVER pay!). Not surprisingly, Kai has had many failed dates, including meeting men who told her that she was too fat, too smelly and even one who insulted just about everything about her but still managed to fuck her in the backseat of his hooptie (he was "tho mean"). Needless to say, she never heard from him again. Kai was even catfished into sending nudes to some of her prospects who turned out to be Pretty Ladies in disguise. These little setbacks never deter her, because every time noods are leaked, she will do some level of rage deleting on her social media accounts (occasionally making a YT video or IG post about how she needs to stop being so trusting of strangers), but then it's business as usual.
The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations
KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled username and the most lulzy wtfery to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being high as a motherfucking kite which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, xSparkage, and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.
The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynsKreations, which was also rage-deleted when a new scandal emerged.
The YouTube Sensation
ForeverKailyn (Deleted)
Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter. Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and averaging between 1,000-3,000 views, it has taken Kai several years to get to such shitty success. Kai had her Google ad revenue disabled almost as soon as it was granted due to the Kween clicking her own ads in hopes for bigger paychecks[6]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and, in the past, outfit of the day (OOTD) videos which have ceased due to overexerting her fatass to show an outfit. Occasionally, Mama would forget to give Kai her aspie meds and Kai would upload videos of her singing and dancing or babbling about nothingness. Rating are always disabled on her channels because the rating bar is always red.
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SincerelyKailyn
Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly vlog targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and in the end - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her iphone 4 not 4s.
MsKailynMarie
After a record-breaking 4 day hiatus in February 2014, the Kween realized life sucks being locked up in the Lavender Dungeon, so she came crawling back to the internet. Hubby was very disappointed that she had blabbed about the rape allegations and gave her a beating, thus the Kween decided it would be more responsible to adopt the “Ms” prefix in Hubby's respect.
She vows never to make a pregnancy video again.
—ForeverButthurt |
Infamous Scandals
Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big scandal a year. When the mean pretty lady trolls catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween rage-deletes her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.
N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating
In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the moron forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably seen by many but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.
Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her source of nickles until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny pedos to help her delete her account.
In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using Craigslist to look for random sexcapades, announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the Craigslist girls took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.
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smegma crust and chapped puthy lips
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I'm 12 and what is this?
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She's a lot fatter now, guys.
ForeverPoor
Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.
—Foreverkailyn, on why she doesn't have a job |
Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her pretend interview to shut up the trolls but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now claims to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, holiday money, and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since she created her own internet-meets-reality demise. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!
Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".
Pink Wednesday
After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her free shit in return for a useless, aspie review video. An upcoming company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the movie Mean Girls), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of pseudo-products produced by none other than an internet troll. When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a video fishing for sympathy.
Kaivman Vocab & Phrases
Due to Kai's inability to enunciate properly due to her disability ass and lack of reading skills, Kai has inadvertently created her own Kaivman language, usually referred to as Kaisms.
- materny laygins: maternity leggings
- 'ply: apply
- tho: so
- quessioneer: questionaire
- Ta Jay Mai Hai: Taj Mahal
- pink slice: pinksickle
- albertross: albatross
- prennit: pregnant
- limmidishon: limited edition
- hallow every Juan: hello everyone
- ith: It's
- Davit: David
- Madd: Matt
- eeewwguyth: you guys
- thuper: super
- husbint: husband
- katvondy: Kat Von D
- weddin' wild: Wet & Wild
- buddin: button
- drewberry moore: Drew Barrymore
- cowide: cow hide
- Rosebud slave: Rosebud salve
- Shore: sure
- cayoot: cute
- stuneen: stunning
- priddy: pretty
- trentin cream: tretinoin cream
- snifficently: significantly
- sowrecksy: siouxsie
(This section is ForeverUnfinished)
Miscellaneous
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A whale in its natural habitat.
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Obviously she knows what she's talking about.
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Kailyn and her hubby Matt.
Previous Video | Next Video
Troll Artistry
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"Hey, that's my room!"
See also
- Fat
- Aspie
- Aspierations
- FAS
- Chris Chan
- Attention Whore
- White Devils
- Unwarranted Self Importance
- Fugly
- buttertroll
- Walmart
- Internet Celebrity
Accounts & External Linkage
- Her Facebook
- Beauty YouTube Channel
Her FacebookDeletedInstagramDeletedBeauty YouTube ChannelDeletedVlog YouTube ChannelDeletedHer TumblrDeleted & squattedPinterestDeletedwebsiteDeletedHer CafeMom profileDeleted- Model Mayhem Inactive
& etc.:
- Parody Instagram Inactive
- Parody Twitter1 Abandon
- Parody Twitter2
- Imgur album (troll archive)
- Booie Socialite Sims blog Abandon
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ForeverKailyn is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article April 3rd & 4th, 2014 | ||
Preceded by John Campbell |
ForeverKailyn | Succeeded by AdrenalineOn |