Jim Traficant

James Anthony Traficant Jr. better known as Jim to his friends, G-D by inmates that wanted a friendly cell-mate and didn't want to be nicknamed Teacup in the Mahoning County Jail. Others have called him a man among men, a boss of bosses and certain crowds would even describe him as, "That guy who can help with getting your problem fixed for a little something something," because the Feds had nicknamed him Rico, after the Federal law that deals with organized crime and racketeering.

Jim Traficant is perhaps, the last great native son from what now can only be described as the mediocre, rotting from within, former Great State of Ohio. Only able to produce such prosaic figures the likes of Drew Carey, Ed O'Neil and Katie Holmes, Jim Traficant has been elevated to the stuff of legends and has become a part of Ohio's collective unconscious, because as most students, from the state, can't name a President from Ohio, let alone tge current one, they all know who Jim Traficant is, usually answering with, "That Lulzy ass motherfucker that mooned Janet Reno during a congressional hearing."

Early Life

Jim Traficant grew up at the tail end of a growing enlightenment period in the modern age of Youngstown, Ohio history that is best known by the names given to it by historical experts such as Murdertown USA, Little Chicago and "If you're a Dago guinea wop greaseball goomba, you'll pay that Polack kid Ten Dollars to start your car if you're smart."

Being of Italian descent and born in a city where the average life span of anyone with a penis is 45 if they had no other options then to follow their family's blue collar traditions and pride that would take them down a road where they are slowly riddled with tumors until one day, they decide that the smart thing to do is get drunk and work up enough courage to stand on the guardrail of a bridge crossing a river and give themselves a shotgun dental exam. Hopefully, if they did it right, they'll fall into the river, float far enough downstream so the gun is lost and when their body is found, it looks more like a murder instead of a suicide earning their family a double pay-out on their life insurance.

Facing few options, Jim Traficant realized what many kids with few options do and that's the only way for someone from his position to make money is by either being a Cop or by getting involved in organized crime. Looking to hedge his bets, Jim decided on both.