Leicester Helicopter Pwnage

The Leicester Helicopter Crash was a hilarious, random happening in October of 2018, which added a bit of drama and lulz to an otherwise shitty, uneventful year (with far less of the war, terrorism and political drama that made the early and mid 2010s so fun).

At 20:30, the 27th of October, 2018, a helicopter entered the King Power Stadium in Leicester where the asian owner of Leicester City FC, Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha, had finished entertaining a bunch of normies with football and alcoholism.

After picking up his drug dealer and two whores, Big Man Vichai boarded his chopper and left the stadium. Eager to impress Vichai and his hoes, the pilot Eric Swaffer decided to show off some of his mad flying skillz, in the hopes of getting his wick wet in some asian pussy. It is believed that Swaffer learnt stunt skills in the same way as Richard Russel, namely from "sum videogames".

Predictably, Swaffer lost control of the aircraft and soon realised he was going to die a virgin. Desperate for one last act of vengeance against the society that had wronged him, Swaffer attempted to remake 9/11 by flying the helicopter into the stands of the stadium to take out some chads and staceys. But he failed at this too and cried like a little pussy faggot as the chopper bitch slammed into the car park and sent all five worthless shitstains straight to hell in a ball of fire.

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Victims

Vichai Sasdlakhwklddawopd

Vichai, also known as Asian Mark Cuban, was a billionaire already and had just made £89 million in in a 90 minute football match, although this pissed him off because it was less than 1 million per minute. Nevertheless, Vichai went down smoking a crackpipe and being blown by the two whores (see below) he had brought with him. He is now in hell.

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Vichai 30 seconds before his death

Kaveporn Punpare

KavePORN Punpare was a drug dealer who supplied Vichai and his entourage with weed and crack. He accompanied his master at all times. Vichai's dealer was the second wealthiest drug dealer in the world, after the man who supplied Snoop Dogg. The police are still looking for him, but he is still dead.

Nursara Sukmaidik

Nursara Sukmaidik was the runner up in Thailand Miss Universe. In keeping with beauty pageant tradition, she whored herself out to the richest man she could find. After being engulfed in flames she became somewhat less beautiful, and then she died.

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Nursara being a whore, surrounded by sadreacts

Izabela Roza Lechowicz

Izabela Lechowicz was a slav pilot whom Eric Swaffer (see below) considered a potential wimminz with which to loose his virginity. Naturally, however, she rejected him in favour of the richest fag in the vicinity, and started to suck off Vichai. This is what prompted Swaffer to attempt mad_stuntz that ultimately lead to everyone being killed.

Eric Swaffer

Eric Swaffer had ejaculated 13,912 times in his life but was yet to lose his V-plates. Why this moron didn't just pick up a drunk slag from any pub in the UK, or travel to Amsterdam, or just raep someone is beyond any sane human's comprehension. Eric was a professional pilot who learn't cool flying moves in Battlefield 4: Air Superiority and GTA V. Because his last act before death was to attempt to kill drunk British people, Eric was accepted into heaven by Allah and has now finally lost his virginity.

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RIP Sweet Prince