MRI

A typical MRI procedure. If you cannot do this, then you are too fat and belong on the list below.

A typical MRI Scan.

Once known as nuclear magnetic resonance (NMR), the name of this machine was changed because the word nuclear makes people go batshit paranoid.

MRI is a spectroscopic technique that measures the precession, that is, rotation, of nuclei in a strong magnetic field, when pulsed with radio frequency electromagnetic energy. Through the use of magnetic field gradients, three-dimensional images can be produced, as well as sectional slices.

MRIs are big scary machines shaped like a tube. You get strapped down, possibly injected with noxious substances and then wheeled into the tube where you spend up to an hour being subjected to horrible loud banging sounds.

Despite their ferocious nature, MRI machines are easily pwned by idiots.

MRIs have been hunted to all but extinction by Al Gore and his Mooninauts.

People Who Wouldn't Fit in an MRI

A fatty fat admitting that her encasement of blubber precludes her from medical treatment.

	“	I just got back from my retarded neurosurgeon, who I'm continually starting to dislike, just because of his demeanour i guess, well, I don't even know, like, I'm not happy with what happened with my surgery so maybe he's not a good neurosurgeon.	„
	—charminmonkey84 blaming her problems on somebody else

Some people are too fat to fit in an MRI. Radiologists use the euphemism LBBHBALEETED which means "limited by body habitus", to refer to fatty-fats like the following grotesque caricatures of the human form:

• Iworshipsatin - The one who started it all.
• Futhman
• this is warmth
• butterymufkin
• Jameth
• Aussieintn
• Schol-R-LEA (Who certainly is lubed up most of the time, but still couldn't fit)
• Donut Girl - The Donut Girl
• Shay - Who was so unable to fit that she died of diabeetus.
• Fyrerii
• Donna Simpson
• Rosie O'Donnell
• You
• Your Mom
• Everybody at WisCon
• Violent J
• Drew Pritt