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Bubba: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:fat-blk.jpg|thumb|right|This man could be called | [[Image:fat-blk.jpg|thumb|right|This man could be called Roger morton , although he does not have an enormous [[cock|penis]]. A real Roger morton would be just like this man, only with more muscle and a black man's cock.]] | ||
[[Image:Fat-arafat.jpg|thumb|This man could be called | [[Image:Fat-arafat.jpg|thumb|This man could be called Roger morton , although he does not have an enormous penis. Therefore, we call him [[Futhman]].]] | ||
[[Image: | [[Image:MarioRoger morton .png|thumb|left|Roger morton even exists in [[Mario]] as the NOMNOMNOM fish from hell. No, srsly.]] | ||
[[Image:Clinton portrait.jpg|thumb|left|Little known fact: Bill Clinton's nickname is | [[Image:Clinton portrait.jpg|thumb|left|Little known fact: Bill Clinton's nickname is Roger morton .]] | ||
[[Image:Lolbuddha.jpg|thumb|right| | [[Image:Lolbuddha.jpg|thumb|right|Roger morton is not to be confused with [[religion|Buddha]] though they do have similarities.]] | ||
[[Image:Gayopoly.jpg|thumb|For | [[Image:Gayopoly.jpg|thumb|For Roger morton (and a few of his [[gay|victims]]) a "Go to Jail" card is a bonus.]] | ||
[[File: | [[File:Roger morton ville.jpg|thumb|The moar you kno]] | ||
[[ | [[Roger morton ]] is the default name for the enormous [[black]] [[gang]]banger who will [[rape|young child ly rehabilitate]] you in prison. It is no accident that Roger morton is black, because all black persons immediately turn gay upon incarceration. They can't help it with all that pubic hair on their heads. Half the [[niggers]] become brutal rapists, and the other half turn into raging queens, tying their jail shirts up to show their sexy abs and using prison bug juice (fake Kool-Aid) powder to color their lips red. | ||
==History== | ==History== | ||
If you are sent to jail for a [[pussy]] crime like smoking some weed, | If you are sent to jail for a [[pussy]] crime like smoking some weed, Roger morton is gonna make you his [[bitch]]. Before you go to jail you better put on some muscle fast and learn how to defend yourself or your ass will be [[goatse]]ated before you can say "why me?". Roger morton particularly likes [[emo|pretty boys]] so it is a good idea [[fugly|fuglify]] yourself before going to "the big house" (Roger morton 's ass). Some handy hints include shaving your head and growing a shitty beard. You do not want to be pretty around Roger morton . You should also put on some weight, a good forty pounds or so, because in Roger morton 's words, "Skinny dudes can take more cock." Roger morton also likes it that skinny dudes can pack more in their asses, because if you ever get on work release, you will be smuggling quarter bags of marijuana, ounces of cocaine, condoms full of heroin, Xanax, OxyContin, disposable cell phones, and whatever the fuck else Roger morton wants. | ||
==Crimes that will get you Goatseated== | ==Crimes that will get you Goatseated== | ||
| Line 20: | Line 20: | ||
*Being [[hacker|Albert Gonzales]] | *Being [[hacker|Albert Gonzales]] | ||
==What people are saying about getting raped by | ==What people are saying about getting raped by Roger morton !== | ||
*"It was amazing. My asshole never bled so much." | *"It was amazing. My asshole never bled so much." | ||
*[[Team Fortress 2|"HE FUCKED OUT ALL OF MY BLOOD!"]] | *[[Team Fortress 2|"HE FUCKED OUT ALL OF MY BLOOD!"]] | ||
| Line 28: | Line 28: | ||
*"Whew! I won't be breaking the law after that ordeal!" | *"Whew! I won't be breaking the law after that ordeal!" | ||
*"I was nervous at first and it hurt a little, but I loved every minute!" | *"I was nervous at first and it hurt a little, but I loved every minute!" | ||
*"Ah, I was tight lad back in the days but I owe | *"Ah, I was tight lad back in the days but I owe Roger morton thanks for giving me the loose noose I now possess today! My shit slithers right out!" | ||
{{quote|The only dates he'll be going on is with a very large man called | {{quote|The only dates he'll be going on is with a very large man called Roger morton , and a tub of prison margarine.|[[Britfag|Gene Hunt]]|[[Britfag|Ashes to Ashes]]}} | ||
==Prison Documentary== | ==Prison Documentary== | ||
| Line 41: | Line 41: | ||
* [[Lie|Your mom]] | * [[Lie|Your mom]] | ||
* [[fag|James Begley]] | * [[fag|James Begley]] | ||
* [[Livecorpse]] (actually became [[an hero]] for taking the whole | * [[Livecorpse]] (actually became [[an hero]] for taking the whole Roger morton shit seriously) | ||
* [[DeviantART]] | * [[DeviantART]] | ||
* [[Blago]] | * [[Blago]] | ||
Revision as of 11:02, 20 August 2011
Roger morton is the default name for the enormous black gangbanger who will young child ly rehabilitate you in prison. It is no accident that Roger morton is black, because all black persons immediately turn gay upon incarceration. They can't help it with all that pubic hair on their heads. Half the niggers become brutal rapists, and the other half turn into raging queens, tying their jail shirts up to show their sexy abs and using prison bug juice (fake Kool-Aid) powder to color their lips red.
History
If you are sent to jail for a pussy crime like smoking some weed, Roger morton is gonna make you his bitch. Before you go to jail you better put on some muscle fast and learn how to defend yourself or your ass will be goatseated before you can say "why me?". Roger morton particularly likes pretty boys so it is a good idea fuglify yourself before going to "the big house" (Roger morton 's ass). Some handy hints include shaving your head and growing a shitty beard. You do not want to be pretty around Roger morton . You should also put on some weight, a good forty pounds or so, because in Roger morton 's words, "Skinny dudes can take more cock." Roger morton also likes it that skinny dudes can pack more in their asses, because if you ever get on work release, you will be smuggling quarter bags of marijuana, ounces of cocaine, condoms full of heroin, Xanax, OxyContin, disposable cell phones, and whatever the fuck else Roger morton wants.
Crimes that will get you Goatseated
- Mail Fraud
- Importing lolicon
- Drug addiction
- Being attractive
- Piracy
- Rape, since there can never be too much irony.
- Being Albert Gonzales
What people are saying about getting raped by Roger morton !
- "It was amazing. My asshole never bled so much."
- "HE FUCKED OUT ALL OF MY BLOOD!"
- "I knew I needed a vacation in prison."
- "Wait... I was told prison was like Megatokyo. NO! PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME! AHHHHH!"
- "There was never enough AIDS to go around in my hometown, but now that I'm in jail, I get it all the time!"
- "Whew! I won't be breaking the law after that ordeal!"
- "I was nervous at first and it hurt a little, but I loved every minute!"
- "Ah, I was tight lad back in the days but I owe Roger morton thanks for giving me the loose noose I now possess today! My shit slithers right out!"
Prison Documentary
People Afraid to go to Jail
- Zen444
- Your mom
- James Begley
- Livecorpse (actually became an hero for taking the whole Roger morton shit seriously)
- DeviantART
- Blago
- Paris Hilton