Trust the soyence

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Soyence is the ultimate source of truth!

Whenever a soyentist moves his lips, what comes out must be right. Soyence is always right! There is no questioning soyence!

Why You Should Trust The Soyence

Soyence does not need any money to back it up

That's right! Soyentific scientific research happns because soyentists scientists do it from the bottom of their hearts! Unlike the rest of us, soyentists have no bills to pay. They do it for free!

Soyentists have always told the truth in all of human history.

Soyentists once preached the non-addictiveness of OxyContin, that smoking does not cause lung cancer, and that partially cutting off the penis does not change sensitivity.

Wait, what? Soyence once said that partially cutting off the penis does not change how the penis feels? Oh, noez! How embarrassing!

Soyentists have no personal lives and no feelings like the rest of us.

Soyentists are immune to emotions and cognitive biases. They are not humans like the rest of us but a superspecies that can always think rationally all of the time!

It's not like soyentists ever sleep and poop and pee and masturbate in their personal time. No, they are awake 24/7, busy in their chrome-coloured laboratories.

References

Trust the soyence is part of a series on SCIENCE! [FizzlePop]

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