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A Guide to Botswana

The guy that makes sure the AIDS rate in Botswana stays at top ranks

The amount a regular worker in Botswana earns in a month

The amount of money your mother earns in a night

Botswana is home to many species of whites, blacks, coloreds and albinos. Landlocked in the middle of Africa, Botswana's main exported mineral is diamond, soon to run out due to lack of intelligence. It is important to note that any country in Africa is home to some of the most dangerous ~~animals~~ people in the world. Botswana's main issue is HIV/AIDS, where most die before they get the chance to find transport to the hospital.

Botswana is well known for its tradition - drinking "Chibuku Shake - Shake" beer under a "Mopane" (a type of worm) tree. Most of the herd is of good nature, but there is a small minority which resort to stealing, raping, hustling and murdering. You can count on the police to attend to the issue in a couple of weeks and actually resolve it in possibly a year. There is no rush in Botswana, everyone works at different paces, some slower than others. This is just one reason as to why the development rate is slow, too.

Safety Guide to Botswana

Living in one of the most HIV/AIDS infected countries, it is important to stay on constant alert. It is because of this that we have constructed a Safety Guide to Botswana:

Never eat your KFC in public, school or elsewhere. KFC is the most treasured fast food in Botswana and is regarded as higher than Jesus. In 2011, a study made by one of the students in the University of Botswana showed that people will either stab, mug or kill you for your chicken rather than ask you politely.

The police are always delayed. Do not expect an instant response from the police or the home security guards. Remember, here we take our time, ekse!

To all our first time visitors, do not walk into a bush in Botswana if you haven't got a pair. Rather ask a friend to walk with you.

If you are white, never walk around by yourself.

Always reply to each question/sentence with "ehh" if you don't know what he/she is asking. This can be achieved the proper way by delaying your tongue (as everything in Botswana is delayed) to "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".

Do not expect a fair deal from life insurance/bank loans. You will end up with much less than you anticipated to be with.

Most of Botswana is bush. Expect a few bugs, insects and cattle (which roam around on the streets regardless of whether there is bush or not). Treat them like how you would treat your mother.

Always where a gas mask when approaching a village. A lot of "witch craft" is done in Botswana whereby you can get very sick if you cross the smell. You have to have adapted the "Botswana nose".

Agreements Upon Arrival

By entering the desert, you agree to:

Temperatures reaching a maximum of 40°C.
The pace of the herd
The thousands of cattle roaming the main roads each day
A country with one of the highest HIV/AIDS rates in the world
A country where ~~Chibuku~~ FIFA 2012 comes first
STD stalkers

Blog Entries about Botswana

	“	Botswana is one of the most spectacular countries in Africa. Everything is so layed back... lazy! My first impression I had on Botswana was the size of the local's dicks! I sure enjoyed that in my soft clit. I live in a small shack in a village in Phikwe and I'm loving all the attention (and the cocks ;))	„
	— A innocent girl in Botswana

	“	Yesterday I met up with my friend Valentine in Botswana. We took a stroll to the river of Francistown where we proceeded to bathe. I later enjoyed my supper with Valentine's family - maize meal. We then advanced to Valentine's room where he fondled with my genitals and fingered my asshole. It was an experience to be remembered.	„
	— A confused White male

	“	My time in the land of the bush has been a great experience so far. I have had much fun with my experiments so far.	„
	— Some Indian

Inside Tips & Tricks To Botswana

Because we all love shortcuts and cheat sheets, here are a few ways you can save your ass from jail cells in Jwaneng.

If caught speeding, you will obviously be issued a fine. To avoid this simply persuade the man/woman that you are in a hurry and it's for something important. Insist that you are broke, but tell them you can give them 100 bucks. They will then feel sorry for you and accept the bribe.

If caught with Marijuana/the abuse of alcohol, simply pass the beer/blunt to the officer and consider it a done bribe.

Stealing is made easy with low security control in shops like "Choppies - value for your money". If caught however, tell him you are not feeling well today and make sure you have enough to pay for it.

Offer your colleague a piece of KFC. You will be able to control him forever.

A Personal Note From Someone Whose Black

yu niggaz fkin wit da rong country, we r original blacks. we r bettr den any oda country in africa. we will nt put up wit diz mahala, we diserve more credet. yu r all racist nd i hope yu get fuxed up hard! nxaaa dis ish izn't approppriete.

Well Known Issues In Botswana

Stupidity

The average Botswanan will ask the same question even after it has been explained to him/her. In simple terms, Botswana is just full of stupidity. This can be found in villages and especially in urban areas of cities like Gaborone.

HIV/AIDS Rate

But I'm sure you already knew this.

Bad Habbits

This includes "throat scratching", eating with their mouths open, chewing with their mouths open, stealing, raping and snorting.

Drunk Driving

Almost every Botswanan is under the influence of alcohol whilst driving right now. The police are supposedly doing everything they can to try and stop it, but when bail prices are as low as 50 bucks (or 10 cattle) it's obvious nothing is going to change any time soon.

Summary

Botswana is an excellent place for horny white females, slow-pacers and general sloths.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-{{quote|"[W]e Batswana are not desperate beggars..."| Sir Seretse Khama }}
+==A Guide to Botswana==
+:
-{{quote|"You're a faggot ... because i don't think it'll matter if your shoes have sequins on them when you're digging for blood diamonds on the harsh terrain of Botswana"| Some butthurt white fag}}
-Once upon a time, [[faggots|British whities]] decided to take over useless land in Africa. They proceeded to kill the [[South Africa|South African niggers]], taking over every inch of land owned by the clueless [[cunts]]. As history went by, Botswana was an untouched shithole which was solid proof that [[Truth|God did not exist]]. Botswana is filled with the most deluded niggers in the world. The current president of Botswana is Ian Khama, a gay cocksucker whose sole purpose is to raise the beer and cigarette prices every month because his father was an alcoholic and used to touch his son at times. The redundant language known as Setswana has featured in almost all Rage Comics created by the nigger. Botswana's main export is diamonds, the reason Botswana is still on the world map. Water is <strike>almost</strike> scarce in Botswana even though the traditional faggots from the bush do the "Rain dance" every fucking day.
-[[File:Botswana.jpg|200px|thumb|right|In shit we trust]]
-[[File:Khama.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The man who runs the show]]
-[[File:Bosso.jpg|200px|thumb|right|You're telling me you can be ''this'' boss in life?]]
-[[File:Prostitution101.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Mama, give me a close up!]]
-==Niggers in Botswana==
 :
-:
-[[File:Kaffirized.png|200px|thumb|right|My Kaffir level is [[over 9000|over 9000]], no?]]
 [[File:MeanwhileInBotswana.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The dedicated Botswana Defence Force]]
 [[File:Chibuku.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Shit in a <strike>bottle</strike> cardboard!]]
@@ Line 23: / Line 12: @@
 [[File:1Pula.jpg|200px|thumb|right|The amount of money [[your mother|your mother]] earns in a night]]
 [[File:TypicalBioLesson.jpg|200px|thumb|right|A typical Biology lesson in Botswana]]
-The characteristics of these wild animals can be found below:
-) They smell like the shit your mother makes. Always. Disregard the [[nigger]] page unless you have experienced the cruel odor.
-) They "scratch their throat" by means of making the most disgusting, unhygenic sound the world has ever heard.
-) They are FUCKING retarded. This can be proven by noticing the laziness of the herd. They will tell you that it's because of the cruelty of Apartheid yet Botswana was almost untouched during the years of Apartheid. While upper class whities were studying, baboons could often be spotted wiping their asses on the nearest rock.
+Botswana is home to many species of [[animal|whites, blacks, coloreds and albinos.]] Landlocked in the middle of Africa, Botswana's main exported mineral is diamond, soon to run out due to lack of intelligence. It is important to note that any country in Africa is home to some of the most dangerous <strike>animals</strike> people in the world. Botswana's main issue is HIV/AIDS, where most die before they get the chance to find transport to the hospital.
-) Just like every other nigger out there, these monkeys love their [[KFC|KFC]]. You've heard it all before, yes, but you have never seen a nigger sucking a chicken bone dry (and consuming it later on, or else this would be a waste of your money).
+Botswana is well known for its tradition - drinking "Chibuku Shake - Shake" beer under a "Mopane" (a type of worm) tree. Most of the herd is of good nature, but there is a small minority which resort to stealing, raping, hustling and murdering. You can count on the police to attend to the issue in a couple of weeks and actually resolve it in possibly a year. There is no rush in Botswana, everyone works at different paces, some slower than others. This is just one reason as to why the development rate is slow, too.
-) Most, if not all, are fucking racist. Studies have shown that this is due to the nigger being [[butthurt||butthurt]] at how rich, powerful and handsome the white man is.
+===Safety Guide to Botswana===
-) Fucking lazy bastards. You will ALWAYS find a nigger in Botswana dragging their feet on the ground. How fucking hard is it to pick up your feet while you walk?
+Living in one of the most HIV/AIDS infected countries, it is important to stay on constant alert. It is because of this that we have constructed a Safety Guide to Botswana:
-) The Kaffir is very fond of their [[God|God]]. You cannot argue with the Kaffir as to why he or she believes in God. They will just repeat the same fucking sentence the priest does when you asked him "How do you know God exists?" "Have faith in the Lord your God."
+* Never eat your KFC in public, school or elsewhere. KFC is the most treasured fast food in Botswana and is regarded as higher than Jesus. In 2011, a study made by one of the students in the University of Botswana showed that people will either stab, mug or kill you for your chicken rather than ask you politely.
-) They love their soccer. Unfortunately most cannot afford a soccer ball. This is no problem though, just get fuckloads of plastic bags and an onion bag, fill the onion bag with the plastic bags and you're good to go.
+* The police are always delayed. Do not expect an instant response from the police or the home security guards. Remember, here we take our time, ekse!
-) Female niggers tend to style their hair in the most hideous ways known to mankind. If you would like to try out one of these styles, just take a dump and glue it to your head (make sure it's hard or it'll fall to pieces, you fucking retard).
+* To all our first time visitors, do not walk into a bush in Botswana if you haven't got a pair. Rather ask a friend to walk with you.
-) The black cunts can be found perving over white flesh, trying their hardest to "tap that" but yet failing so miserably.
+* If you are white, never walk around by yourself.
-) Most love their "swag" and imitate what they see on MTV. Recently though, a few black diamonds have been seen creating Rage Comics strictly for the [[lulz|lulz]].
+* Always reply to each question/sentence with "ehh" if you don't know what he/she is asking. This can be achieved the proper way by delaying your tongue (as everything in Botswana is delayed) to "ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh".
-==Whities in Botswana==
+* Do not expect a fair deal from life insurance/bank loans. You will end up with much less than you anticipated to be with.
-:
-:
+* Most of Botswana is bush. Expect a few bugs, insects and '''cattle''' (which roam around on the streets regardless of whether there is bush or not). Treat them like how you would treat your mother.
-Whities are the reason Botswana's economy hasn't fallen to the bottom of the ranks. Almost all the wiggas in [[gtfo|Bootswana]] are expats because of the high salaries they get from working. A few white men can often be found with their black jewel (a fucking ugly combination), though if you come from South Africa you would probably feel the need to raise the sirens for the "'''Shoot to kill'''" command. Quite a few whities from [[South Africa|Afrikaaner Land]] have taken a trip to Botswana to exterminate any unworthy slave or to rape one because their girth was too small to the white female. You'll often find a whitie tagging along with a nigger, this is caused by the 1:500 ratio.
+* Always where a gas mask when approaching a village. A lot of "witch craft" is done in Botswana whereby you can get very sick if you cross the smell. You have to have adapted the "'''Botswana nose'''".
+===Agreements Upon Arrival===
-==Coloureds in Botswana==
+By entering the desert, you agree to:
-:
-:
+* Temperatures reaching a maximum of 40°C.
+* The pace of the herd
+* The thousands of cattle roaming the main roads each day
+* A country with one of the highest HIV/AIDS rates in the world
+* A country where <strike>Chibuku</strike> FIFA 2012 comes first
+* STD stalkers
-Most are [[Islamic|Islamic]] and are often called "God's shit" (due to the color of the two being almost the same). Those who are not Islamic are Christian Extremists who watched their mothers get raped by the hungry white cock. If they're neither of the two, you can almost guarantee that they are Indian. Coloureds can often be found reading the Quaran, comparing their skin to that of shit, raping [[your mom|YOUR]] mom and jerking off to the latest FHM mags.
+===Blog Entries about Botswana===
+{{quote | Botswana is one of the most spectacular countries in Africa. Everything is so [[lazy|layed back... lazy!]] My first impression I had on Botswana was the size of the local's dicks! I sure enjoyed that in my soft clit. I live in a small shack in a village in Phikwe and I'm loving all the attention (and the cocks ;))| A [[whore|innocent]] girl in Botswana}}
-==Indians in Botswana==
-:
-:
-Driving in the latest jags, [[Indian|curry munchers]] are very well known in Botswana for being one of the richest people in the whole country. Many argue that this is due to every relative of every family living in the same fucking house but if you're black you'll think otherwise and offer a blowjob in exchange for some "Rain" (translated from "Pula", the currency in this shithole). Indians can <strike>often</strike> be found wearing that annoying dot in the middle of their fucking forehead which is great for target practice. Many do believe that this enhances their beauty, instead it makes them look like a fucking [[tool|tool]].
+{{quote | Yesterday I met up with my friend Valentine in Botswana. We took a stroll to the river of Francistown where we proceeded to bathe. I later enjoyed my supper with Valentine's family - maize meal. We then advanced to Valentine's room where he fondled with my genitals and fingered my asshole. It was an experience to be remembered. | A [[gay|confused]] White male}}
-==Currency in Botswana==
-:
-:
-One of the worst aspects of Botswana is their currency. Everything is fucking overpriced, including but not limited to: prostitutes, marijuana, petrol, school fees, your mother (even though she looks like a faggot from [[Zimbabwe|Zimbaboonbwe]]) and most importantly, alcohol. The Batswana decided to name their currency "Pula" (which means rain, for the last fucking time) because [[truth|God hates Botswana]] and he doesn't give two shits if the drought reaches the point of the extinction of the blacks (I fucking pray).
+{{quote | My time in the land of the bush has been a great experience so far. I have had much fun with my experiments so far.| Some [[India|Indian]]}}
-==Prostitution in Botswana==
+===Inside Tips & Tricks To Botswana===
-:
-:
+Because we all love shortcuts and cheat sheets, here are a few ways you can save your ass from jail cells in '''Jwaneng'''.
-Don't get your hopes up, [[faggot|fag]]. Searching for prostitution in Botswana is like searching for actual intelligence in South Africa. Fuck all. If you do get lucky as to see a prostitute, you'll wish you never did. Not only that, but most prostitutes are [[truth|obese, ugly, fat, stupid, tools, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly and fucking ugly]]. If you want to hear the sound of the "scratching of the throat" as she sucks your 2 inch cock, go ahead.
+* If caught speeding, you will obviously be issued a fine. To avoid this simply [[lie|persuade]] the man/woman that you are in a hurry and it's for something important. Insist that you are broke, but tell them you can give them 100 bucks. They will then feel sorry for you and accept the bribe.
+* If caught with Marijuana/the abuse of alcohol, simply pass the beer/blunt to the officer and consider it a done bribe.
-==AIDS in Botswana==
+* Stealing is made easy with low security control in shops like "Choppies - '''value''' for your '''money'''". If  caught however, tell him you are not feeling well today and make sure you have enough to pay for it.
-:
-:
+* Offer your colleague a piece of KFC. You will be able to control him forever.
-They say it has gotten better. Stupid cunts.
+===A Personal Note From Someone Whose Black===
+[[nigga|yu niggaz fkin wit da rong country, we r  original blacks. we r bettr den any oda country in africa. we will nt put up wit diz mahala, we diserve more credet. yu r all racist nd i hope yu get fuxed up hard! nxaaa dis ish izn't approppriete.]]
-==Music in Botswana==
+==Well Known Issues In Botswana==
 :
 :
+===Stupidity===
-{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
+[[File:Nomusic.jpeg|200px|thumb|right|A dumbass poster]]
-|<center><big>'''Eish!'''</big></center><br>
-<center><youtube>XFNalnzzJwo</youtube></center>
+The average Botswanan will ask the same question even after it has been explained to him/her. In simple terms, Botswana is just full of stupidity. This can be found in villages and especially in urban areas of cities like Gaborone.
-{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
+===HIV/AIDS Rate===
-|<center><big>'''Eish!!!!!!'''</big></center><br>
-<center><youtube>5WhUVvKTCic</youtube></center>
+But I'm sure you already knew this.
-{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
+===Bad Habbits===
-|<center><big>'''Siwawaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! EISH!!!!!'''</big></center><br>
-<center><youtube>Yb4cBgiYTeE</youtube></center>
+This includes "throat scratching", eating with their mouths open, chewing with their mouths open, stealing, raping and snorting.
-==Vaseline in Botswana==
-:
-:
-[[File:Vaseline23.jpeg|200px|thumb|right|Because nigga's love being shiny]]
+===Drunk Driving===
-You are not a true nigger if you don't carry a tub of [[oil|oily shit in your pocket]]. Niggers love their vaseline. It helps keep their rough ugly skin soft as a [[baby|baby's arsehole]]. As soon as the typical nigger wakes up, he will proceed picking up the tub of [[shit|shit]]. He will then apply half the contents in the tub and rub it across his face, hands and body.
+Almost every Botswanan is under the influence of [[alcohol|alcohol]] whilst driving right now. The police are supposedly doing everything they can to try and stop it, but when [[stupidity|bail prices are as low as 50 bucks (or 10 cattle)]] it's obvious nothing is going to change any time soon.
-==KFC in Botswana==
+==Summary==
 :
 :
-Kaffirs first choice.
+Botswana is an excellent place for horny white females, slow-pacers and general sloths.
-==See Also==
-*[[Africa]]
-*[[Kenya]]
-*[[Nigeria]]
-*[[Tanzania]]
-[[Category:Locations]]